help me please how to keep this inside when it is burning?

Question

i'm married to my love after so much of pressure and i am staying with his family i was feeling he started neglecting and not loving because he started abusing me infront of his family members he was not taking me out we dint celebrate our honeymoon so naturally i turned towards a guy and got a baby from him now my hubby love doesnot know this child is not his and he is really loving the child but same attitude continuing with me should i have to break the relationship or i should keep it for my babys sake

Answer 1

If this thing burns inside you tell him the whole truth. What maximum he can do is to give you divorce on this ground; at least you will not be having this guilty conscious that you hide this fact after cheating him. As far baby is concerned it shall remain with you. If you marry again you will have a new husband & baby will get a father. More so how long will you face mental harassment you are facing now from him, without his knowledge about the real father of the child. Just imagine how much more he can harm you when he comes to know this fact from someone else. So best thing is to tell him clearly every thing & move out of his life once for ever.

Answer 2

Aren't you afraid that your husband will someday suspect that your child is not his? Does the child's real father know that he has a child but it is not recognized to be his? How much deception is involved here?
Turniing to a guy and having a baby by him outside your marriage is not a natural turn of events. It's natural to be upset, it is not natural to deceive.
You blame it all on your husband's bad treatment of you; for that, we just have to believe your side of the story. Now he loves this child and it will be terrible to find out the child is not his. You are complaining about your husband again and wondering whether to leave him. Is this always going to be just about you or at some point, do you start thinking about someone else, too?
That makes your suggestion that you stay with your husband for the baby's sake all the more unbelievable. Is it because you want him to continue paying for the upkeep of someone else's child? You have caused so much damage with your deception that I don't think you have a choice but to stay with your husband. Unless the other man knows the child is his and is willing to take you and the child in and marry you, what are you going to do?
I'm sorry for the problems all your discomfort has caused for everyone. Start seeing a therapist or a pastor or at least listen to your mother if you confide in her. You need someone to straighten your life out - you don't seem to be guided by any moral sense.

Answer 3

One thing is clear that you would be facing a rough time in your near future, either today or tomorrow.
As you have entered in illegal sex, that fellow had you juice and flew off. Now you cant claim any thing from him or your married life would rock. Where as that fellow is at the advantage of pushing you when ever he gets a chance through out your life.
Its better that you change your accomodation and try to settledown some where else than only you could deal with your husband. Stying close to your bf would really shatter your windows and would engulf the future of your illegal son.
Dont dream to tell your hubby the truth, he would be mad and commit any thing. Even your guy would not give you shelter.
Be cool and try to rebuild your shattered relation.
Try to follow your husband and make him feel happy. I dont know after all how so early you have fallen in with that guy.

Answer 4

This is not a marraige but physical abuse and you need to get out and decide what is best for you and the baby. His family should have stepped in and put a stop to the abuse. You cheated and now you need to come forward. It's not fair to a innocent child to grow up in a abusive home and also its not fair that this child has a father and won't know him. Leave and tell the other man you are having his child and let him be apart of that child's life. Don't live a lie it will blow up in your face.

Answer 5

sister u say u married a man u loved . was ur love so weak that u cheated on him. i agree what he is doing is not right at all. u r showcasing his mistakes just think what have u done. he might be not treating u well but atleast he dint do what u did. i think its best to get out of this relationship. u can imagine whats going to happen when the truth comes out. its best for u both. as far as ur baby is concerned i think her real father should take her responsibility if he is a good man. or else u can take her care ur self.bye. good luck.

Answer 6

1st, you should slow down and punctuate your paragraph so people can understand it. 2nd, don't get stuck with something you can't take care of. What if you leave your husband or he leaves you? Is the baby daddy going to help you? You can risk it by not telling your husband, more than likely your husband wont ask for a paternity test unless he knows about the affair. If the guys kind of look the same, you might be able to fake it. If you are married to a German, and banged a Mexican, I wouldn't risk it. Make sure you think this through, you might be stuck with a kid and be all by yourself.

Answer 7

U got 2 be true with ur relationship. Secondly truth always speaks out u cannot hide the truth. It is better u tell the truth 2 ur hubby and then u decide what u want 2 do in future.

Answer 8

1 Do NOT tell your hubby about the secret of your childs father.
2 Do NOT worry about your relationship.
3 Love your hubby by your heart.
4 STOP all your contacts with 'extra-marital' relationship at ONCE.
5 As a penance to what you did to your hubby, give him extra care.
6 Do NOT feel guilty about what happened.

Answer 9

I guess that depends on whether you really want this child to have a father or not. If you really value a father in a childs life, I'd suggest you lie to him forever but with the abuse that you are talking aout I dont think he would be a good father anyway so tell him and let him be on his way.You and that child deserve better

Answer 10

You should NEVER have to feel afraid. Dump his *** - your child doesn't need to grow up in a home where a man beats his wife. How do you think your child will feel when they grow up? Probably will do the same - think about it. You already know the answer, you're just afraid to do the right thing.