How can you stay married and socially satisfied?

Question

I really love my husband and realized lately that for sure I will never cheat.

He is very difficult to deal with at times (please no 'just go talk to him' lines), but at other times can be the most understanding (although those times sortof feel like a trap).

I get depressed very easily and have no girlfriends or family where I live. Is it so totally wrong to go out with guy friends for dinner, or just to talk? I get along so much better with guys. He's very conservative and jealous, so I can't tell him, but I know that I nothing else is going on.

I just want to feel connected to people (real people, not online).

Answer 1

I can sort of relate to your predicament, I always thought I got along better with guys than gals!! However lately I have come to realize that isn't the case. What you need is a girlfriend who you can relate to and vice versa, what would be better is if you had a girlfriend who was also married or has a partner, that way you and your husband could have social gatherings if you like and you are both involved.
It's a hard one I know as partners get jealous of even friendships with women at times. My partner is even jealous of my mum lol but if you and your husband can find some common ground together, then things will work themselves out!
I find, it's easier to make a female friend when you have children as up until my kids started school, I never really got along with other women as well as I did with men. You could always make a girlfriend online who lives in your area and then meet up for a coffee and a natter. Try not to get down, I suffer on and off with depression myself and its a hard thing to shake, I know but still there are others out there that feel the same as you do. Try to find an interest that makes you feel good about yourself and you are always welcome to natter to me if your feeling low. xx

Answer 2

Well..... would you like it if he went out to dinner with other women?
To meet people you join stuff. Sport? Church? Hobbies? Bookclub?
You could go and join something together. Volunteer at your local hospital.
You really need to find mutual friends. Maybe you could invite couples over for an informal dinner/pizza/barbecue. There must be some couples that ou know through work, or even your next door neighbours.
It is important to have a social life. Go and meet people in your community, but also do try to get some mutual friends. It will help you and your husband to stay connected, and also have fun together.
Good luck

Answer 3

Mingling around with the opposite gender is somewhat sensitive to your husband. That's for sure. He is clearly uncomfortable with the idea of you meeting up with the opposite gender, especially when you have declared that you get along better with guys. Can we safely assume that naturally you have more male friends than female friends?

Being a marriage is also about being sensitive to how our partner feels. Conservative or not, that's beside the point. What I am driving at is, knowing that your husband is unhappy with it, would you still persist to do it? Are you aware that these friendships have somehow shaken his sense of security in you?

Lying to him to meet up with other men (even if it's clean) will send a wrong message to him. All the more he would be suspicious if you ain't honest and that is going to make matters worse. My suggestion would be to bring him along as much as possible. It will be an opportunity for him to know your friends and in return, if your male friends have no ulterior motives on you, I am sure they should have no qualms showing their faces to your husband too.

Answer 4

Oh, it's easy. Your husband should be the centre of your universe! Knock it off with the guy friends, that's just asking for trouble. Don't keep secrets from your husband.
Do some volunteer work, take classes, do the church thing if that's what you're into -- there's lots you can do to meet people and keep busy.

Answer 5

I think it's fine. One of my partners very good friends is a woman. She's tall, thin and hot too, but I trust them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having male friends or even going to dinner. Not telling him is an issue, but it sounds like you married a controlling jealous man anyways, so tell him, but don't let him control you. If he doesn't like it, ah well.

You can make the effort to make friends in your area too.

Answer 6

i think it would really be wrong if you go out with guys without telling him , this by itself is cheating.
i dont seem to understand the point of no girls around...
i think a good solution would be to meet people when you go out with him and make good social life that way. how about phone calls to g/f or family?

Answer 7

Internet could really give you some releif. Even if you fall for a guy you may not have sexual link with them. Practically if you have a friendship with other guy you may be provocated to have relationship the way both of you could give concessations to each other.

Answer 8

Once you are married, you are married to the man.. Going out with guy friends alone is a no, no.. You will never know where that will end up.

Go out withn him if that's what you want

Answer 9

i would say that it would not be ok for you to go eat out with guy friends. especially that your husband is jealous. it is not a trust thing, it is more out of respect for your husband.

Answer 10

dont cheat. there is your answer. in my opion?