Help, I'm so sad?

Question

My first ultrasound is tomorrow and my husband promised he was going to go with me. Tonight he told me he wasn't going to go after all. I just want to scream at him, how can he make me go through this alone? And before you freak saying I'm just a kid, I'm a 31 year old woman with 2 kids already. My ex did the exact same thing to me and my new husband promised he would always be there for me. It was his idea to try and a have a baby(his first), now he doesn't want to be there for me. He is bipolar and I don't know if that has anything to do with his decision, but I.m beginning to feel a little bipolar myself. I'm almost to the point of not wanting this baby any more. Am I overreacting or is he being a jerk? I really need some help. I've never felt so alone.

I'm going early because the doctor thinks it might be twins. I feel let down because he changed his mind at the last minute.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry.

As you know, people with bi-polar disorder have their ups and downs. I am going to assume that he is in the depressive state at the moment?
It has nothing to do with you, you should know that, although it doesn't make you feel any better. Does he say why he doesn't want to come with you?
Dealing with a loved one with manic-depression is hard enough without being pregnant, and because your hormones and emotions are out of whack, this must feel extremely sad and difficult.
The thing to remember is that you have a wonderful miracle growing inside you, and this baby is going to need a healthy mommy, both physically and emotionally.

I do so wish you the best of luck, I will keep you in my prayers, and if you ever feel the need to talk, drop me a line at [e-mail]. I would be more than happy to chat.

Answer 2

Well, I am kinda in the same situation..Me and my husband are having our first together and we tried for over a year to get pregnant.He was always saying that if I got pregnant he would go to every single appointment and blah blah blah...but when my first appointment & ultrasound came, he didn't come,I went alone.But after he saw the ultrasound pic, he got excited and went with me to the next appointment and the appointment after that! I think you may be overreacting a little bit, he will come around.The problem with men is that the pregnancy is not real to them until they have solid proof (like an ultrasound pic) I am pretty confident that he will realize what is going on and be fully involved with the baby, and believe me, he wants that baby but he is man and men have a difficult time showing their emotions.....I hope everything goes well with the pregnancy! Congrats and good luck!

Answer 3

Well, I feel really bad that you feel bad. But, maybe with him being bipolar and your hormones going "ca-plooy", you need to just take a deep breath and relax a little. Maybe you already have put him in your ex's shoes, unjustly? Like you said, this is his first. If he misses the first ultrasound, maybe he'll realize he doesn't want to miss anything else. Maybe you could talk to your doctor about the bipolar thing? Good luck, and congratulations!

Answer 4

Bipolar disorder can cause people to behave in ways they normally wouldn't. I am not trying to make excuses, but it is a very difficult thing to deal with and maybe it does have something to do with that. He may just be being a jerk, but he may also be having a problem dealing with his bipolar disorder. Anyone who has not had experience with this disorder may not understand how it can affect people, but there are people I know with this disorder and it can cause them to behave in ways "normal" people would not. Just don't freak out about it, because making an issue of it may only make things worse.

Answer 5

He's being stupid and not thinking of no one but himself right now and a lot of time it's hard for them to understand the things you go through. I am 35 weeks and me and the baby's father are not together anymore. He's been there somewhat for me the whole pregnancy helping me buy things or whatever but not once has he gone to a doctors appointment with me and just yesterday he came into town with his new girlfriend around the time that I went to my doctors appointment. Men are very self-centered.

Answer 6

Talk to your husband.. He just being A__..
Ask him to take few hours and tell his boss he need to take you to doctor appointment..
Because when I had my first ultrasound(miscarriage last year) my husband took few hours off to take me there and he hear the baby heart beat we start calling it peanut because it was 7 weeks...
Now this year i am expecting again.. (hopeful nothing happen.) he been out of town for my first appointment when i switch doctor to better one. I saw the ultrasound on the small sn..So i know how many weeks i was.. and then i took ultrasound picture and i keep picture of the ultrasound. and show it on him by e-mail and show to him when he got home.. But i have told my husband the detail of other days he can go with me to doctor office..

But you talk to him about how important that he comes with you to see the ultrasound.. It would make you feel better.

your homones is makign you overreacting.. so you just chill and talk to your husband... about it
If you talk to him and tell him how you feel he maybe understand..
He need tell you why he doesn't wanted to go...
make him understand..

Answer 7

Have your mom or a good friend go with you, men just get confused as to what is on the screen anyway they are too stupid and don't get it, really I'm serious!!! Take a friend with and then go out for a good dinner and celebrate! then take the ultrasound pics home and try to explain it to him, then say you are a dumb arss aren't you!!! Keep the baby its not its fault that its dad is a well a man. Gotta love men though I do!!!

Answer 8

Maybe your partner is really scared that something is going to be wrong with the baby. Try sitting down with him and teasing out his feelings. Try not to be accusing or raise your voice, hopefully you will get to the root of it. I know it is hard during your pregnancy with the flood of hormones to see things clearly, but fighting may only push him away further. let him know why it is important to you and let him know you are feeling insecure. If you are early in your pregnancy he may not feel as connected to the baby as you do. Good luck, I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 9

No ur definitely not overreacting...its every womans wish to have their significant other there during such a special time...A baby is Blessing and ur husband should not want to miss this special occasion...i dont want to make excuses for him, but maybe hes scared, it is his first...Please just try to talk to him and tell him how important this is for u and him..if you need to talk about it, u can also email me...im really sad that u feel alone, please try not to stress b/c we dont want u to put any strain on the unborn child....hope everything works out for u, Im praying for u

Answer 10

You have been blessed with the greatest gift that God can give to you you should enjoy it. if you husband doesn't want to be a part of it then that is his loss, don't let him steal your joy. A lot of men don't or can't be involved for whatever reason, I understand your frustration, but you know he will end up regretting it. Go and enjoy your self and maybe he will jump aboard. Good luck to you sweetie and God bless you/ You are not alone, God has blessed you with this gift, he will not leave you.