How can I get two grown men to clean?

Question

Long story short- I live with my boyfriend 22 and his friend 21. they are both equally messy and the boyfriend is getting better but the roommate is still a slob, and they dont clean up after themselves leaving me to the dishes, trash, dog/cat duty, laundry, vacuuming, and other cleaning.
I have tried.....
-Leaving all the mess except mine in hopes theyll get the hint: didnt work I just ended up doing 2hrs worth of housework for the mess they didnt clean for 2 weeks and no dishes to cook my own dinner on
-Bribing them saying pay me 40$/mo and Ill do all the cleaning: they became super slobs and wouldnt lift a finger to do ANYTHING
-Complaining non stop about what bothers me: works for a day then they seem to forget everything
I NEED HELP! I go to school fulltime and work part time and cannot be a part time maid as well! Im open to any and all suggestions!! And moving is not an option- lease isnt up til Sept

Answer 1

oh honey, this is simple, for 1, you need to go major into you-know-what mode. You can do it. . .dont complain, flip the breaker to the tv, eat a scrumptious dinner in front of them. . .and last but not least, put their most stinky socks on their bedpillows.
When they call you a what-you-are-being. . .tell them straight up, you are not their maid, and they HURT your feelings. Mostly, if your boyfriend is anything like mine, that will whip him into shape REAL quick.
Honestly though, ask him if he expects you to live the next 40-50 years with him like that. Does he want you to look 50 when you are 35? or 45 when you are 30? Men are stupid (no offense to the rare man that may be reading this that is kind, sensitive, etc). You have to spell it out very slowly for them, and sometimes give them pictures to go along with the words. They dont see it if they are not affected by it. (Honestly though, arent we all like that to an extent?!)

Good luck hun, I know it is hard, been there done that, bought the t-shirt, yadda yadda yadda

Answer 2

Dont do ANYThING Have them hire a maid service and pay them directly fo rit Evntally they wont be able to keep that person if they pile it all up until maid comes.
Live on your own or get a female roomate who is clean somewhere else and let them have the place or have them move out and you start overGet another guy to take you r place in the lease perhaps.
If cannot move then stop all "helping" and nagging Use paper plates for yourself-let them fend for themselves on cooking and plates etc. Keep your things separate Wash only your things.Stay extra long at the gym and take showers there if possible.Pretend like your visiting someone and keep yourthings compartmentalized in toiltry kits etc so your not cleaning the mess just to get to your things.
Eat out or get small things you can eat w/o cookin from grocery. Do not buy into their "helplessness" nor show any displeasure-they like that too. They will not change

Answer 3

Honey...let me tell you from experience....that if they are slobs now and wont clean up after you've done everything you've done...they aren't going to change. I had an ex-boyfriend like that...stress the EX part LOL He had his own "computer room" and i didn't bother it too much..till i kept smelling something horrible...and went in and found that he had moldy food and soda laying around. I complained, nagged, left it in hopes he would clean it, nothing worked. He's long gone now dirtying some other chicks house :-D

As for the roommate...start putting all his dirty dishes on his bed, and anything else that he may leave around. I had to do that with my roommate when he first moved in. He definitely got the hint when he came home and had 20 nasty dishes all strung out on his comfy bed. LMAO

Hope this helps!

Answer 4

Give them an ultimatum tell them they must do some of the house chores or they can find another place to stay, tell them everyone has a duty to clean, give them each a couple of duties that they can handle, say like give your boyfriend one hard cleaning job and one easy one and do the same for the other guy this should give them incentive as they both share a difficult duty and a easy one whereas no one will be jealous of the other person, this should give them incentive as I say, but don't expect too much out of guys they are generally messy. Good Luck !

Answer 5

Being naggy minght just make them resent you. The more you nag the more they will stop trying because they dont want you to think that your nagging works.

The best way to go at it is by praising them when they do something. even if they start out by just washing a spoon or remembering not to miss the laundry basket.

People live on recognition whether its a promotion at work or a Thank-you-for-putting-your-socks-in-the-basket. preety soon they will be doing more things because they like to hear the words of praise, just like a puppy who will play fetch just for kind words and a few treats.

Answer 6

Sit down together and draw up a duty roster. Everyone will share in the chores, and the chores rotate among each of you. Make copies of the duty roster/chart and each person is responsible to put the check in by their name upone completing their task(s) for the day.

Also, together, come up with acceptable consequences for anyone not completing their task(s) for the day (i.e. he must pay a fine to the other's in the house, or do extra assigned chores to make up).

It seems childish to resort to these childish measures ... but these 2 guys have been selfish & childish for not being responsible with the household chores. They both lack the proper upbringing in cleanliness...so now you get to be Mom and treat them like a Mom in charge of her kids.

If this doesn't work, you need to move out.

Answer 7

Kick the friend out and don't give your boyfriend any "goodies" until he cleans up after himself, and helps you solve the problem with his friend. If the friend pays rent, and kicking him out would only hurt you in the long run, then tell your boyfriend that it is his job to stick by your side and let his friend know that it isn't okay to put all of the chores and housework on you because you!

I hope this works.

Answer 8

life is short - don't sweat the small stuff. If they are slobs, so what, only clean if it makes you feel better, you don't mention if they EXPECT you to clean or they don't care if you clean or not. If you enjoy their company and really like them both, hang in there till you can afford a place of your own. OR each of you can pitch in $10.00 per week and hire somebody to clean the bathroom/ vacuum and dust. Don't stress yourself out because their habits are not like yours! Have a great day!

Answer 9

Go on strike, Just cook for yourself, and clean up your mess. It will be hard to watch the house get messy, but you must stick with it, because they know you will give in. Just sit the two of them down and say, You think this is a joke, I am not your maid, and I will no longer be taking care of everything around here. as of today I'm on strike and will take care of my self, and clean up my mess, do my wash, etc etc etc. I no longer will be treated as a servant.

Answer 10

Yeah deprive your boyfriend of all the "special things" you give him as a girlfriend. Evict them both or just get you boyfriend to kick out his mate and keep working on him about it.

Once his mate is out of the house it will be much easier to encourage him...

I live with a guy ....he is pretty bad so I have to crack the whip every now and then.....

or you can pretend to cry and run to your room.....guilt tripping has its value...I normally only do this in EMERGENCY situations ...and the lazy buggers you have it seems necessary!