My son & I live 4 hours away from my cheating husband. It has been almost 2 weeks since my husband has even tried to contact my son. He sent me a text tonight saying that our son can call him anytime. So I had our son call him & I told him that after they said bye he could hang up...so he did. After they got off the phone my husband sent me a text saying thanks for letting him call me. I didn't respond. I just don't want to have contact w/him unless I have to. Is that wrong? Also, like I said...it's been two weeks since he spoke to him & he talked to him for 7 minutes! He took a whole 7 minutes out of his day to talk to him. And is it weird that he can't call my son...he has to have him call him? I guess he's afraid I might answer even though he doesn't have to worry about that. I don't want to stop him from talking to him....I just wanted some opinions.
2007-04-04 14:44:45 · 11 answers · asked by love my life 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For the person who said he cheated on me and not my son.....you're wrong. When he chose to have my son and I move 4 hours away so he could be with his mistress more....he wronged his son, too. A real man doesn't put a piece of a** that will be here today and gone tomorrow before his son...so that is cheating on his son.
2007-04-04 15:12:54 · update #1
O YEA! do it! because when my boyfriend cheated on me. i just started ignoring him. and my life was sooooooo much easier from then on.
2007-04-04 14:47:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think ur being fair. U dont wish to have anything to do with him other than pertaining to your son and I dont blame u. He is toxic for u and the only connection is the boy.
So, I think u r being completely reasonable. But, I would tell him that he needs to make the effort to call him as well and not to leave it up to the boy. That would make the boy feel as though he is making all the effort and the dad is making none.
It could cause some emotional problems later in life. It did with me.
So, tell ex to call the boy anytime he wishes. That u will work with him on it. And tell the ex that u will relay to the boy that he can call dad anytime as well. This way, no emotional problems can develop from feeling unwanted on the boys side.
Good luck to u hun.
Keep ur head up. U did the right thing.
2007-04-04 21:51:49 · answer #2 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre not wrong in not talking to him if thats what you want to do. Youre right in letting your son at least talk to his dad whenever. I take it that your son knows the reason for dad not being around and h will form his own opinion of dad himself and may cut off communications himself but let it be his choice. It sounds like dad is feeling remorse for his ctions and is trying to get back into or wants to, but hes really scared of your reaction so hes trying the only way he knows how. Hes trying to find out where he stands with you and just exactly how mad you are by using calls to your son as an excuse. Youre doing what you feel is right and tahts probably what the majority of us would do too if we were in your shoes. Stick to your guns and good luck
2007-04-04 21:54:49 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG! Definitely ignore him if that's what you feel like you want to do. You were done wrong, so this is your choice all the way.
Kudos to you for not punishing your son because of your feelings. You are a very good mother.
Have your son tell his father that he can feel free to call him if he wants to talk. You're not a Secretary and shouldn't have to be the go-between.
2007-04-04 21:54:17 · answer #4 · answered by wsibwigu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is wrong that you son has to reach out to contact his father. The father should be trying to call his son as often as he can.
Now, it is okay to avoid talking to your husband, espically if there is hostility there. Your husband (or ex-husband) is probably afraid you will hang up on him or yell at him for his infidelity. If you text your husband (so that you don't have to have actual contact) and inform him that HE can call his son anytime with no reprecussions, then he might.
If you still have ill feelings for him, then it is okay to ignore him until you can get over the ill feelings. My advice is to try to be civil to him when he does call.
2007-04-04 21:52:51 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him it's okay for him to call and that you won't make fuss about the past, because that what it probably sounds like, that he fears you'll bring back the past. Having to limit the proximity of a child to a parent, can be harmful, and you may not have the slightest idea what he's going through. A lot of things will change, so will you. Remember to remain strong for the both of you and your son.
best wishes.
2007-04-04 21:57:32 · answer #6 · answered by junglist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't understand why people play mind games with their children when they split up? if he was calling & you answered you know you would be upset. he has made an effort to make contact with your son, suck it up & encourage your son to stay in contact. he cheated on you not your child. he made the choice to cheat, you can punish him all you like between the two of you but don't drag your child into it.
i know that may sound harsh but i have seen too many kids be hurt for the parents evils
2007-04-04 21:55:59 · answer #7 · answered by ms_debbieg 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The cheating was an issue with you and your husband. Do not make it an issue between you husband and your son. Treat your husband any way you want regarding yourself, but don't make it difficult for your son.
2007-04-04 21:52:19 · answer #8 · answered by stedyedy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say Ignore him but where a child is involved it's not good to do that... Don't talk bad about him to the child ect... yes he hurt you but thats not your son's fault.. If he chooses not to contact your son thats his problem but please make sure his son has the chance to talk to him if possible...
2007-04-04 21:56:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore the creep... But, be polite when he calls for your son. Don't let him make you out to be the *****. He'll tell your son that he won't call him because of you.
Bite your tongue and be nice for your son's sake. But don't go out of your way to make contact..
2007-04-04 21:51:14 · answer #10 · answered by Movinonup 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your ex has every right to talk to his son, and you are very mature to not attempt to keep your son away from him... However, you have no obligation to talk to your ex... Why should you?
Go on ignoring him, if you want. I probably would!
2007-04-04 21:49:11 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋