My husband and I broke up almost 6 months ago. I left him with the idea of getting back together if he could JUST acknowledge that he needs to treat me better and not like a subordinate. When I left, i did not go to our friends or family to tell them how horrible he was during our marriage or what he finally did to make me leave. I thought maybe we could work it out and nobody would ever know.
Unfortunately, the FIRST thing he did was go to all our friends and family and tell everyone I left him and he's so hurt and I'm keeping our child from him, etc., etc., etc. Since I left, i have found out numerous things about secrets he's kept during our marriage. He continues to drag my name through the mud. Should I go ahead and expose what I've learned to everyone and stop keeping why I left a secret? Or do I not be vindictive and just stay quiet, knowing the truth will come out on its' own? I have stayed quiet for my childrens' sake.
2007-04-04 12:28:35 · 11 answers · asked by Shannon H 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When I divorced I made a vow to myself not to do anything I would be ashamed of later. I stuck too it and I was really proud of myself. True friends and the family that love you wont take a thing he says seriously. Those that do, well they arent true and you dont want them in your life anyway.
The fact that you have kids makes this especially important. The choice you have made thus far is the best one for your kids. If you bad mouth thier father you basically bad mouthing 1/2 of them., its not fair to them.
When I was divorcing and for years after I was divorced people loved to come and tell me what he is saying about me and what he was doing. I just kept my mouth shut if they persisted, especially after everything was finalized I I would simply make a little joke and say "you know we are divorced right?" and change the subject.
Maintain your dignity and class, its best for you kids and for you.
2007-04-04 12:44:35 · answer #1 · answered by CHELLE BELLE 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to your family and friends, thats what they are there for. Support! He is the one that had all the secrets, not you. Dont let him drag you through the mud ~ but dont trash talk him either (no name calling and what not)... it could get back to the kids and as harsh as it may sound, unfortunately they will have to figure out what he is on their own.
2007-04-04 19:36:46 · answer #2 · answered by shelly lee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, lose the thought of getting back with him...it never works out...been there, done that.
Second, as others have already said, don't stoop to that level. If he is one of those people that can only feel good when they are putting others down, then he is doing far more damage to his credibility than you ever could...but, take notes in case it ever comes up in court.
Remember, Time wounds all heels.
2007-04-04 20:14:01 · answer #3 · answered by Joe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't lower yourself to his level. If your friends and/or family truly care for you they will come to you and ask you if there's any truth in what he's saying. There are 2 sides to every story so you be the grown-up and the truth will eventually come out. People will believe what they want to believe and if you bad mouth him now it will just seem like you're trying to get back at him.
2007-04-04 19:35:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friends and family know you and how you act and treat people. If you bad mouth him then some of them will think you are a vindictive b*tch and not listen to you anymore. Keep your mouth closed and his Karma will get him.
2007-04-04 19:43:38 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't stoop to his level, believe me your friends won't tolerate him much longer. No one likes to listen to this for long. At first they may be amused by it, but usually what happens when one person talks the other down, the one who didn't comes out smelling like a rose. Been there and done.
2007-04-04 19:34:19 · answer #6 · answered by Krinta 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friends KNOW the truth already, and strangers don't matter. Don't crawl down in the gutter with him, and tell secrets. YOU know the truth, and that's what matters. Don't worry about him.....folks will "consider the source", and not put much credence in what he says anyway. Hold your head up high!
2007-04-04 20:06:53 · answer #7 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
and keep quiet. What goes around, comes around, even if now your world seems all glum because he bad mouthed you, downgrading yourself to his level won't stop the gossip he started. So remain quiet and proper, and wait...
2007-04-04 19:32:25 · answer #8 · answered by AMBER D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take the high road... Karma Baby... what goes around comes back around.
2007-04-04 20:06:40 · answer #9 · answered by a j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't say anything, his bad karma will come back to get him in the end. Sorry you are having to go through this.
2007-04-04 19:37:55 · answer #10 · answered by sweetpea22306 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋