Let me start by saying that I was 24 the first time I got married to what I would say if the best man God could have created for me. He was loving,kind,gentle and a great family man and father. He died July 1994 needless to say I was crushed, so I focused my life around raising my children and going to church. I finally got up the nerve to date again and it wasn't horrible because no one could compare to the wonderful husband I had so I basically gave up. Well my best friend introduced me to the equivilent of my husband -just a great person and loving man....we got married 12-2-06 and I love him more than life itself....the problem is he is in the MILITARY and is going off to Iraq in 7/07 at least for 12 months.....I am trying not to think about it but it is driving me crazy. I don't know what to do, so I treat each day like its the last. I really love this man and I am praying that God protects him and send him back to me, I don't think I could survive another death.
Help!!
2007-04-04 12:24:19 · 29 answers · asked by Pegi 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know I shouldn't be focusing on the negative but its a possibility. We only agreed to move to the area we live in now because they were told this was a non deployable unit and as soon as he gets here, our wonderful president requested more men and now...even though he has served in 3 other wars he is on the top of the list to go early July 2007. When will this war be over??? It is hurting so many families and destroying so many lives. I am a bit selfish because I love him so much and I want him for myself, I don't want him to go to Iraq but there is nothing we can do. He's been in for 17 years and wants to do at least 4-5 more for retirement.........any good and sound advice would be appreciated.
2007-04-04 12:30:58 · update #1
As a ex-service man retired and served 22yrs.,
you have many support family services on base.
Yes it is rough when one has to deploy into a com-
bat zone as I did for three yrs, however at this time
you need to be strong for his sake so he can go
over there knowing that you will be here for him
when he gets back. Now-a-days you can keep in
touch with him almost daily through the internet.
Since you have faith stick with that and do not treat
every day as the last as your faith will bring you
and him back. Just remember the one above
looks after all of us and he will decide when it is
time to leave, and when that happens loved ones
just have to accept that. Use the military resources
that are there for you to use and you will find that
many military wifes can give support to other
military wifes. God speed.
2007-04-04 14:54:12 · answer #1 · answered by RudiA 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pegi, your not having a problem ,its your instinct as a wife that's over powering you. But first I do am sorry for the lost of your first love, but God didn't left you alone and now you met someone that you give your whole body and soul to. Yes his job is not what we can call 9-5 job but do you know that he is one that's trying to protect our country from harm?? I know its scary knowing that he will leave soon for Iraq, but be assure that nothing will happen to him back there. Yes there's a lot of our military men that died back there and 4 of my marine friends are a few of them that gave their life to our country.
You believe in god so let that be your straight when he goes away. And for your husband not to worry about you,support him and tell him how scary it is for you knowing that he will be in a place where human soul is not worth it. Your husband will be fine and the rest of our soldier back in the middle east. I know so because I am a military wife as well, I had my do's and don't when we went. Just give your faith to god and youll see before you know it, the two of you will be together again,...........be safe for me !!
2007-04-04 12:37:43 · answer #2 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To be honest with you it sounds like you are never seriously going to be ready for marriage. Marriage is more than being financially secure, and until you figure that part out you'll never be ready. All the money in the world would not make you marriage material. You first of all have to be caring, loving, considerate, understanding, patient, long suffering,able to listen as well as hear. Unselfish, be able to give of yourself when you don't having any more to give. Ask yourself why is the new girl friend interested in you. It should be for the purpose of getting married, if not, then all you are doing is being selfish, spinning wheels and going nowhere fast. Because you and I both know she aint gonna hang around if you aint got cash. So looks like you'll never be able to save. Well....
2016-05-17 07:32:37 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry for your loss. It sounds like right now you are doing all of the right things. Praying, taking care of your children, going to church. I suggest (as hard as it may sound)to not focus so much on the negative side of this situation, rather focus on getting through each day knowing that right now you are married to a wonderful man and you are blessed with wonderful children who are here for you today.
God Bless.
2007-04-04 12:30:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on meeting such a wonderful man! I have been married to a military man for 20 years, these are things that military spouses face everyday. I know you have probably heard this before but it is so true, that it takes a special person to be a military wife. Your support and prayers will mean so much to him and knowing that you will be waiting for him when he returns safely. Keep your chin up and I will wish your husband a safe return. Prayers to all the military members.
2007-04-04 12:32:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
OH MY GOD!!!!!! I feel for you because my husband died in July 1997 and I'm raising my kids alone and I can't wait to get married again also, but I always had a fear that when I get married I would lose that husband also, but God will protect your husband as he go away try not to have fear because when u pray faith takes away that fear that we have. I hope that a miracle happens for you so that your husband won't need to go away but if not God will watch over him and send him back to you and I pray for all our troops to come home.
2007-04-04 12:36:39 · answer #6 · answered by sweet p 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All I can tell you is to continue to pray for his safe return. If you need to, go see a therapist to help you with your seperation anxiety. It helps to get the emotions off your chest and someone can give you better advice. Write to him everyday and send care packages. Ask him to call at the VERY least once a week. Let him know how you feel and that you are truly scared for him. Ask him to write to you as often as possible and make sure he has plenty of paper, pens, and postage.
I wish you and your family the best.
2007-04-04 12:32:34 · answer #7 · answered by Kelly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about your previous husband and this one. There is nothing more you can do but exactly what you are doing, showing him how much you love him every day. I hope this is his one and only time going to Iraq. Good luck and try to stay strong while he's gone. Always hold on to your faith and hopefully your prayers will be answered again.
2007-04-04 12:31:43 · answer #8 · answered by Jess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
we lose many many more Americans with drugs than with this war, you go to church- where is your confidence that God promises He will never give us more than we can bare.
Everything is in God's hands, life is about Him, not us.
I lived in Europe a few years ago w/military, you would not want this country to start becoming islamic controlled like they are. Little blonde haired blue eyed European girls forced to wear head scarfs, islamic boys raping euro girls like crazy-want that for American children? of course not. They despise freedom and they must be and will be stopped.
They are fortunate the U.S. has been so merciful to them. My husband is out now, but he went back to the mideast to work. 'They' shot my pastor to death, along with others, only for being a man who loved Jesus, no military involvement.
My soul, my life, his life, our son; all in the Lord's Holy hands.
2007-04-04 12:42:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been blessed to have loved so deeply and completely twice in a lifetime. Count your blessings instead of dwelling on the what could happenthings. Make your second blessing as good as it can be. My thoughts will be with you . Just always remember how very lucky you really are. Enjoy every moment for what it is.
2007-04-04 12:36:14 · answer #10 · answered by seretazandrae 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋