Okay so this is a long story. My husband and I swapped spouses like 3 times it was the same couple and no one had any hard feelings we were all fine about it. But now I consitentially think about this man. We talk on the computer all the time and even webcam each other and my hubby and his wife don't know I feel like I am cheating. Some one please help no rude remarks PLEASE:)
2007-04-04 12:20:41 · 20 answers · asked by kindanswersplease 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh yeah by the way we were all friends before and neither of us had ever swinged before!!!
2007-04-04 12:29:56 · update #1
It's hard when fun turns into obsession... but the best thing you can do is be honest with yourself. Ask yourself WHY this second man has become so important to you. Remember why you're with your husband in the first place. Question where you want to go. If the two of you talk all the time, perhaps you should take a break for a few days. Either way, once you reach a decision (something only you can make), you need to tell both men. Because if he breaks down and tells his wife (or if she happens to find out), then everything gets so much harder. It's not your place to involve her in your discussion, however; that's up to the other man.
2007-04-04 12:32:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It IS a form of cheating because you are keeping it from your significant other.
Realize that just because you had sex with someone, doesn't mean you'd get along at all outside a bed.
A lot of swingers won't play with the same couple/swingle more than once due to the issue you've described. Playing only once leaves little chance any of the parties will become so interested in one (that isn't their spouse) that they'd pursue something with that person.
STOP fooling around w/o your hubby knowing about it. Neither you nor the other guy need the karma...and by cheating you are okaying yourself to be cheated on. Are you REALLY okay with that idea?
2007-04-04 12:25:27 · answer #2 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand what you mean by "swapped spouses". I'm sorry, I may be 30, but I truly believe that people do not take the sanctity of marriage to heart. Too many people stray from their marriage and try to justify as to why they do so. I understand that you are in a difficult situation, but you did make a commitment to your husband. As hard as it may be, you need to cut ties, all ties, with this other man. Or you will only be headed for divorce fast. It's like keeping an unfruitful branch on a tree - it sucks out all the energy from the rest of the tree and eventually the entire tree is unfruitful. Cut the dead branches.
2007-04-04 12:28:55 · answer #3 · answered by Michi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you opened the door when you had the swap. the door to divorce. You should seriously consider if you want to spend your rocking chair days with your husband or not. If so, STOP what you are doing, it IS cheating, and you wouldn't want him to do this to you.
If you are not sure your with the right guy, give the fella one last bit of respect and tell him you want a separation instead of just screwing around behind his back. Remember this is a person's feelings you are playing with when you cheat, your husband's. he will suffer the most and feel totally betrayed by you. Good luck with your choice.
2007-04-04 12:28:56 · answer #4 · answered by susan9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you say swapped spouses, do you mean for sex? if the spouses don't have a hard time with it, I guess it's ok. If you and your husband are Swingers, you must have a fairly liberal marriage. I would have a hard time with it myself but my love and I don't swing. Just remember, you are married to one man and if you get too emotionally tied up with this other guy, you will stretch your heart too thin. good luck
2007-04-04 12:53:42 · answer #5 · answered by Media Man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is a fantasy. keep it there. If you are in love with your husband, you may need to discuss this with him, if you truly have feelings for the other man. Don't let him find out by mistake-he will be hurt. You can remove a fantasy, by applying those thoughts to your husband and your sex life with him.
Swapping opened this door. Now you and your husband discussed how to start... now discuss the issue that has come up for you. Good luck.
2007-04-04 12:27:48 · answer #6 · answered by reasonablelady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hope you don't consider this rudebecause I'm not trying to be rude., but I think we are all there at sometime. I can't tell you that it will pass because sometimes it doesn't. It may constantly haunt you likeyou have fallen into somedream and never awakened. I hope you resolvethis I can feel your pain.
2007-04-04 12:26:02 · answer #7 · answered by seretazandrae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to be a "swinger", why exactly do you HAVE to be in a relationship to do that?
Anyways, what you are doing, behind his back, IS cheating, you are right to feel like it is.
This is ridiculous, I have no Idea what to say because I honestly believe you won't listen to a word.. you are in your own little world obviously.
2007-04-04 12:26:27 · answer #8 · answered by Fluffington Cuddlebutts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should try to stop talking to him less and start spwending more time with ur hubby. or u should try n figure out if ur husband still likes u. but remember u hav vows to keep, to be with him for ever.
2007-04-04 12:29:41 · answer #9 · answered by nikky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ur married and u should only think bout thus man as a friend!Ur married and u SHOULDN'T b cheating on ur husband unless it's worth it.
2007-04-04 12:26:46 · answer #10 · answered by ♥nini-chan♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋