Tubal vs. Vasectomy..... For men and women....?

Question

My hubby and I are debating which route to go. What are your opinions and experiences with either one???

I am 7 months pregnant with our 2nd child, we have a 2 1/2 year old boy and a girl on the way. My hubby doesn't want any more kiddos, and I am not sure either way... Of course being a female and having the mother instinct I would love to have 10 kids... But realistically, we can give 2 children a wonderful life where as 3-4 would be a little difficult financially... So really we don't need any more kids, but I am afraid that I will want another in a few years... But with a tubal, the decision to have another will aready be decided... same as with a vasectomy.. We are 23 and 24 years old, so I am wondering what your opinions are about it. I am scheduled to have a c-section, so it would be the best time to do it if I were going to... But which one is a better choice?? Why?? and do they hurt?? either one of them?? I just need outside help, as I kow this is a huge decision...

Personal experiences good and bad would be helpful too..

I am having a scheldule c-section anyways, so I know it is a major surgery, but I'll be hurting and already limited anyways as well as a 3-4 day hospital stay... so that is the only reason I am considering a tubal instead of a vasectomy... :)

I can't do an IUD.. I tried that and because of an issue with my cervix, it will not work for me... but thanks for the input...

Answer 1

A vasectomy is outpatient surgery, only needing a local anesthetic, a tubal ligation requires a hospital stay and general anesthetic.

Vasectomies are also more easily reversed in case the two of you (or just him) change your mind.

In general it is better to have the male have the vasectomy.

In your case, your husband is the one that is sure he does not want kids, so it should definitely be him.

My gf got a tubal ligation, she was adamant about not wanting to have children, ever. She certainly would have preferred that I got the vasectomy instead, however I am more ambivalent about having children and refused to do that.

If your husband died, would you want the possibility of having children with someone else? I know this is somewhat macabre, but it is something to consider.

Answer 2

First I will tell you that I was you just 2 years ago. I am 26 now and was pregnant with our second son. My hubby opted on the vasectomy for the same reason you are debating this decision. Before we married we decided 2 children would be realistic for us (I grew up the youngest of 6). With 2 we can give our children the things that they needed plus extras.
A vasectomy is simple...My hubby said it was tolerable. Actually 2 days later he was back roofing. But every case is different!
We always just knew he would get a vasectomy when the time came.
I suggest you contact your local Urologist and get information from them as well as information from your OBGYN/Dr. about a tubal. Having the info in writing may help as well. I read that some people told you to do both...but remember that reversals are not always guaranteed to work or at least the chances are less to get pregnant.
Since my family is now complete, I am considering being a Surrogate mother for a friend who can't get pregnant. Surrogates are needed all over the country. I know my family is complete and we took measures to prevent any more in our family.
This is a hard decision. I hope I have helped! Good Luck!!

Answer 3

I've had two c-sections and still didn't do the tubal at 36! I understand the "no more kids" thinking, but you are very young. God forbid something happens to you or your husband and they remarry, children may be an option for the other person involved. (Not that you should think this way.) A tubal is not 100%. Neither is the pill. I had an IUD (Merena) put in and I love it! 1. I never have to think about the pill. I just have sex! 2. It doesn't make me gain weight. 3. It is 99.9 percent effective. 4. I don't feel it. 5. It has stopped my period. (This only happens to some.) 6. The only draw back is that it is expensive and you need to change it every 5 yrs. Some dr.'s love it, others don't. Good luck. I'd try the IUD first.

Answer 4

the tubal would be easier after you deliver. Most docs will do it within a certain time period after the delivery. Vasectomies are an out patient procedure and are less invasive then the tubal. I am not sure about the pain factor on either, but since you are having a c-section it may be less painful and a shorter recovery for you to have the tubal. Whatever you and your hubby decide will be the best for you. Good luck with baby #2 and with your decision!

Answer 5

Since you are having a cesarean, you should get the tubal if it is between you and him. However, reading your post I dont think you should get sterilized at all. You are very young and are not sure. I hate to bring this up, but many people do get divorced, remarried and seriously regret being sterilized. I have seen this happen over and over and over again. I know you think it will never happen to you, but think of all the people you know, I am sure there are some divorces there. The mirena IUD is the answer for you. It is reversible contraception, good for 5 years, will most likely stop your periods as a side benefit and the kicker is- it is more effective than sterilization in preventing pregnancy. Yes, you read that right. You have a better chance of getting pregnant after a tubal than if you had the IUD.

Answer 6

i had a tubal a couple of years after i had my last son and because i was under 30 they kind of gave me a hard time and me and hubby had to counsel to make sure we both were in agreement and they asked about what if something happened to your spouse and you remarried would you want more kids. I was positive that i didn't want to have more kids so i had my tubes done it was not too bad i did it out patient and recovered fast. I made sure they were going to cut and tie cuz i didn't want any chances. they do have clips that they can put on and that might be easier for reversal in case you change your mind. I was like you and had a girl then a boy and was sure i was finished till surprise i had another boy 4 yrs later then had my tubes tied. so if you really don't want any more then have the tubal. If you are not positive then get the pill or shot and wait a couple of years.

Answer 7

if you are haveing a csection a tubal is easily done while in the OR...if not vasectomys are easier to recover from, however given your age and the fact that financial reasons are the only reason you dont want more....do you really know what your going to be doing in 3-4 years?...do you know for sure that you will never have enough money to support more?...i would hate to see someone your age who loves children get a procedure they will regret. you may want to talk to your doctor about something different....maybe an IUD, they are good for 5 years and if you change your mind you can have them removed......its like 5 minutes in the doctors office to have it placed and even less to have it removed. i currently am using one, until my husband can get his vasectomy next year (hes military and cant do it for mobility reasons right now) we know we are done....but we have 5 kids between us (he has 1, i have 2 and we have 2 together) ....we are also older than you, (hes 29 im 31) and i had a lot of complications with my last pregnancy and have been advised not to have any mroe by several doctors.

Answer 8

You are being very responsible toward this situation. I want to commend you and your husband for this. Yes, you will have the perfect family, one boy and one girl. Wasn't there an old song about that? I would wait on both surgeries. You are both too young to make that decision now. There are plenty of birth control methods you can use to insure not having any more babies. You sound mature enough to be able to handle using birth control devices without becoming pregnant and calling it an accident. Give it some thought and talk more about it between you and your husband. You are ridden with hormones now and you will be for months after the new baby. Good Luck to you. You won't be sorry at your age that you delayed the decision. It is easier for the husband to get the vasectomy.

Answer 9

If you are already having a C-section, then a tubal would be easy to take care of. Otherwise, vasectomies have a shorter recovery time, just in case you decide not to get the tubal at delivery.

Answer 10

This advice I will offer first...whatever you do if you decide that you will be the one to get the tubes done, do not get the ESSURE DEVICE put in. It is a newer procedure that some doctors like to do now...they say it is safer and easier. My device caused me to get a hysterectomy for my 25th bday.

Anyhow...I am not against having your tubes or your hubby's tubes fixed. I think it is good if that is what you both agree on. Talk more about it between the both of you.

With me, I thought it was better for me to have it done than my hubby since he is usually a big baby when he is sick! I could only imagine him being cut down there...he would of milked the heck out of that one.

But whatever you do decide be sure that it is what you both want. Best of luck to you & congrats.