I think she had an affair. Iam not sure. however she walked out over a weekend leaving me with the kids. I changed the locks. She came back all seamed fine for to weeks, then she told me she loves me but is not in love with me. We talked and she the moved in with her girlfreind to get come couselling but she has done that yet 2 weeks later. Do i move on all give her another go ???
2007-04-04 11:54:30 · 23 answers · asked by oscarjohnemail 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Whatever the reason may be, cheating, whatever, the fact of the matter is she has come out and said some very hard to hear words.(She doesn't love you anymore) There is quite a difference, as us more experienced people know, of being in love, and simply loving someone. If she is willing to get counseling, maybe there is still something there for her that she wants to search for....Two weeks, on your end, is a long time. To her, she just made a life altering decision, she still may be trying to clear her head. Actions do speak much louder than words though, and if she doesn't step up to the plate and get counseling, WITH YOU, then it probably is never going to work out. Hopefully, with some time, and some understanding on your part, a spark may be rekindled. Think about it, if you wrote this question, there is a part of you that wants her around....Hopefully everything works out for you. My advice would be to simply not put a timeline on it, but make sure you are both communicating with each other on what is to happen next. Good luck.
2007-04-04 13:56:08 · answer #1 · answered by t.carp 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sometimes we fall out of love with people, then we fall back in love with them. Love takes work - it doesn't just happen. Give your wife some time - you need to talk - what is it she feels is missing.
Is she having an affair with this girlfriend - as a bi woman I know lots of married women who have les bi an affairs.
I would say work at it until you feel you have done everything possible. I would agree some sort of deadline so you know where you stand - ie you could both try marriage guidance for some time to see if things can be reconciled.
As a man you may risk losing your children as courts will naturally appoint the mother as the main carer - even though she walked out.
good luck
2007-04-04 19:08:01 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its easier said than done to say to leave her, because there are kids involved. You guys should try counseling, and give her time & space. If counseling doesn't resolve, you guys need to really have a good long talk about how you will handle the kids. This situation is just as hard for the kids to go through, so give them extra love & hugs and remind them that you're there for them. Good luck!
2007-04-04 19:02:15 · answer #3 · answered by Mariah_72 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What i am going to tell you comes from deep inside of me, ok? Sometimes we have to lose what we have in order to realize what we lost.
Stay put for at least 2 more weeks and then give her another go if you think it's worth it. We are strange creatures, and sometimes we don't even know what we want, but assuming she's not gone gaga yet, she will realize what is going on, so it's your choice now.
And do this for you and her, not the kids, they are just an excuse we use to pursue what we want.
2007-04-04 19:04:30 · answer #4 · answered by AMBER D 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think she answered your question but in-case you need to hear it again she is not in love with you anymore, other wise she is screwing another guy and would like to keep you in the wings in-case this other guy falls through.
Now you have read what I had to say about her now I want to know why are you still trying to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? Hold your head up and grab your balls and the next time she show up at your door tell the ***** to hit the road. You and your kids deserve better.
2007-04-04 19:05:21 · answer #5 · answered by loving U 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seeing as it's been 2 weeks its quite soon to give up. Are you sure you even love her you seem so willing to let her go without a good fight. Any man who puts up a good fight for the women he loves even though he loses in the end is # 1 in my book.
2007-04-04 22:07:07 · answer #6 · answered by I Like Grapes 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your wife is definitely cheating on you,for a wife to go and leave her kids there is only one thing that would compel a mother to to leave her kids, another man.I no there is nothing you can do to convince your wife that what she is doing is wrong and how bad it is for the kids.This is why little boys grow up and cheat on their wives.Maybe if you tell her how bad this is for your kids the mother in her will do the right thing.
2007-04-05 00:31:12 · answer #7 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This just happened to me !
I woke up one day finding myself having an afair and being in love with another man while still maried to my husband for 11 years.....
It is very hard to fix the relationship if she is truly having an affair and she's in love with another guy !
I think you should give her some time and be patient ,try to find out how did you contribute to this situation.It's easy to acuse somebody of having an afair ,but we have reasons why we get there. God luck !
2007-04-04 19:36:58 · answer #8 · answered by Juliet 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
She has issues. Anyone that can just leave their kids needs help. If she is not willing to get counseling then for your sake as well as your kids you must move on. Good Luck!
2007-04-04 19:01:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
why are you still asking this question? you got all your answers...she abandoned your family, she said she doesnt love you anymore, she's not interested in trying to work things out. dude, for the sake of your children stand up and be a man, file for divorce!... move on and take care of your kids. without you, they have nobody to depend on.
2007-04-04 19:10:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋