When should u leave if u think he still cares 4 his x wife even when he says it is not true it is u he cares 4

Question

I have been dating this guy for a yr and 1/2 of it was great but the other 1/2 has been shakey. he has been divorced 3yrs and at first he used to tell me he loved me and we were going to live together and all this happy stuff now his x-wife calls him when she nows he has money and brings the kids around and then he dogs me. After she has spent most of his money he comes around talking about how fed up with all of the games from her and it is not what I think. He doesnt tell me he loves me anymore either. He tells me that we will always be close and have this special bond one minute and she calls again and it is back to I am bugging himshe wont take him to the doctor or do something as simple as buy him a pack of cigs but here I am the one who goes all out and he does things for me to make me think he means it but then will tell me we need a break what should I think at this point I am tired of the roller coaster.But I luv him I even got a divorce thinking we were really getting 2gether

Answer 1

Boy, what a mess. He is a player. He needs to go back to this woman and stop his games with you. Honey, I don't like telling people to stop seeing someone or divorce someone, but this is a clear case of using you. Why would you want to be part of this at all? Love is okay, but it has to be returned for it to grow. A one sided love will only cause you problems. Please think about what you wrote here and go back over it and then tell yourself you want a life like this, because this would be your life and it wouldn't get better either.

Answer 2

Let me just say that when someone truly has loved someone, that love just doesn't go away. Sometimes it's hard after being married to someone (especially when that person has kids with the person) to just let that go. It takes time and the want to be past that situation and be moved on. I think you know that this guy probably isn't over his ex. He may not even want to be with her but some times a habit is just hard to break. Unfortunately your feelings are involved here and are getting jerked around and mistreated. I know that it's hard but you need to figure out what you want. You love this guy but do you want to be in a relationship with him in this way? Talk to him and let him know how you feel and what you're thinking. If you're feeling that he still wants this women, then love him enough to let him figure this out and get past it. If he goes back to her, it will hurt but don't you think it will hurt less than this yo yo ride you're on? And it may not even come to that, maybe your relationship will wind up stronger, but I think he definitely needs to figure out where he wants his future to be. Good luck.