One was that she diverted our funds into her own private account. I have joint custody and made out good financially. It has been brought to my attention just now that she may of been having an affair while we were married. All of my counselors tell me to let go of the anger and dissappointment especially for the kid's sake. I am working on it but they make it sound so easy. Is it really that easy?
2007-04-04 10:50:31 · 12 answers · asked by paco 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dwelling on things that happened in the past will only harm you, emotionally and physically. Yes, it is hard to forgive and you'll never forget but it is true, you need to learn to deal with the feelings you have and let them go.....for your sake and your kids. It won't be easy but you have to be willing to work on it and work hard!
I wish you well and hope you can come to terms with your feelings and not let them interrupt the relationship you have with your kids.
2007-04-04 11:00:07 · answer #1 · answered by Incognito 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's really really NOT easy, but you already are experiencing how 'not easy' it is.
It is simple though. Your children will suffer if the two of you are constantly at war with each other. It really doesn't matter whether you're justified in your anger or not.
Also keep in mind that aside from the children, the person that your anger and disappointment hurts most is *you*. Not her, but you.
It's going to take a lot of time for the pain of her betrayal to fade, but you can start working on the anger and spite immediately.
Nursing an angry grudge never helped anyone, but it does make them bitter and unhappy. Actually when you are able to 'put down' this bitterness you'll feel relieved and realized what a burden you were hauling around with you.
Eventually you'll forgive her and truly move on (that might sound crazy right now or like an unachievable goal). Forgiviness actually is better for the person doing the forgiveness then the one being forgiven.
Remember that you don't have to hold on to this pain and make it a part of who you are. You're better than that and you deserve better than that. And you're kids do to.
Good luck to you and God bless. I really feel for your situation and I know firsthand the kind of pain you're in. Just remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
2007-04-04 17:59:41 · answer #2 · answered by Jon S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No its is easier said then done. However the couselor is right you do have to let go but not just for the kids sake but for your own. Being angry and disappointed is too much anger and thought and energy that you are putting towards someone that didn't put enough, love, thought and energy into the marriage. Don't waste your energy focus on other things that you enjoy, time for you to start dating slowly of course, but time to get back out there. Goodluck
2007-04-04 18:05:03 · answer #3 · answered by 20+ years and still in-love! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not that easy!! it is going to take time for you to heal. you gave this person your heart and that can not just be fixed overnight. do your best not to talk bad about her around the kids, that will only hurt them. I am not going to tell you that anything about divorce is easy, and since you have children with her, you will be dealing with her for the rest of their lives. Do not jump into another relationship! Take your time and heal. This was a major thing and it won't just go away. It will take alot of work, but don't give up, you will be OK!!! Good Luck!!!
2007-04-04 17:57:34 · answer #4 · answered by oursnowbaby32 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no it is not easy at all.you have kids so you will always have to deal with her.my ex after he left for another woman moved 2 houses down from me with her while we were still married.i handled it very well i had too besides living well is the best revenge.as long as it hurts you or angers you it has power over you.let it go for your own sake.good luck.besides it may have only happened maybe it didnt people like to talk and sometimes dont know the truth.
2007-04-04 18:11:18 · answer #5 · answered by dixie58 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well whats done is done and if things are finally settled and you are somewhat happy then yes I would let it go.If you aggravate the situation than it might now come out the way that you like.
I would find whomever she cheated with and let him know she is was married to you when they were together just in case he didn't know and he can get the real picture of his woman
hope this helps
2007-04-04 18:00:26 · answer #6 · answered by what did you say 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's really not that easy. I've been divorced for almost 4 years now, and it took me a very long time to be able to even think about my ex (he cheated several times) without getting that shaky, heart pounding, stomach dropping feeling. I can tell you that it eases with time. I know exactly how you feel. Keep your chin up! Enjoy your children, and you'll be okay!!
2007-04-04 17:57:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is not that easy. You will get over it when you are over it, not when they say you should get over it. Try to think of her as another human being who makes mistakes, not just as your ex wife. It'll make it easier for you to forgive her for cheating and everything else if you don't take it so personally. Feel sorry for her because she is a sad, unethical person and move on with your life!
2007-04-04 18:00:10 · answer #8 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its the past and you cant change anything, so now your kids should be your only concern they need a dad, and just keep communications open with your ex for their sake it makes it so much easier for them and when things do arise that both of you have to make decisions concerning them it will be much easier to communicate with her... its important for them...
2007-04-04 18:38:35 · answer #9 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not that easy. You have to decide that you can let go and move on. It will be better for you and the kids if you can.
2007-04-04 18:51:54 · answer #10 · answered by jean h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋