i got divorced about 5 years ago and my x husband after all these years had asked me to take care of his dog?

Question

should i even think about taking care of his dog ? i feel sorry for the dog but not him, but i have 2 boys by him , what should i do ?

Answer 1

I would take care of the dog. It is a good way to keep a part of your boys' father in their life.

Answer 2

It depends. If he's planning to surrender the dog to a pound permanently (i.e. "get rid of it) and you have the means to care for the dog, then yes - definitely take care of it.

If he's simply going away for a short time and needs someone to watch the dog, it's your call. If the situation causes you to feel bitter, I'd avoid it. You're not responsible for his life, and the bitterness will eventually seep through. I can see it now: the first time the dog sheds or has an accident you will be cursing your ex husband. You don't need to be nasty about it, but if you truly do not feel like taking care of the dog, politely suggest a doggie-daycare place for him.

On the other hand, if you do want to help the dog, then do it. There's no reason NOT to watch the dog simply because it's your ex's dog. In otherwords, I don't think by you agreeing to take care of the dog you're inviting your ex to take advantage of you, or saying "yay we can be best friends now". People like dogs. It's pretty simple.

And as far as maintaining a good relationship with your sons' father, I think it's far more important for your sons to see Mom doing what she thinks is right than to simply "get along" with someone for fear of rocking the boat.

Answer 3

I think it's ok that you still have feelings, but I think what you are feelings are your wishes of what the relationship could have/would have been if you guys were different people. You stated that you two were no good together back in the day and that you were both immature. Well let's say that now you've grown up and are different people. You don't know who he is after five years of absolutely no contact. And what really bothers me is that he had no interest in knowing or supporting his children. I would hope you would go to court and pursue child support. The kids have a right to their father's support. He sounds to me like he is a selfish, immature and callous man. What kind of Dad ignores his kids? How does he think they survive? What if you found out tomorrow that you had 24 hrs. left to live....would you want him to get the kids? They don't even know him, and I would let it stay that way unless he made the move to get to know them and start taking care of them. Just because you still have feelings doesn't mean you have to act on them. A huge part of growing up is knowing when people and things are no good for you, and leaving them alone. I really think you should forget your fantasies of "what if we got back together and were one happy family" and let your new partner know you are invested in your relationship. Any man who is willing to take on supporting and raising three kids that aren't his, knowing their own Dad doesn't support them, is a good guy in my book. I think you need to forget about your ex...as you said, he knew where you lived and never once tried to look you up, never once send you a check, never once sent the kids a Christmas card or birthday card, never once cared about how you were surviving, and never once even cared enough to end the marriage. He just doesn't care period. Do not uproot your life and go to Australia to see what happens. Stay where you are and get on with your life and the plans you had. If your current boyfriend isn't really the guy you want and you don't want to get married, fine then, don't marry him and break off the relationship. But I think you need to realize that your marriage with him has been over for a long time, and get on with living your life. I think you should get your divorce, sue him for child support and enjoy the guy you have. If he's not the one you want, then break off the relationship before he and the kids get any more attached to each other than they already are. Your instincts are correct; don't uproot yourself and your kids and go after something that wasn't that great long ago. Move on and move up; don't keep looking backwards. A

Answer 4

I have been divorced for 6 years and I am remarried.He & my husband might as well be best buddies. If he needed his dog watched, we would do it. I mean he takes the kids from my new marriage over to his house and comes over for dinner. Not all divorces have to stay bitter. If you can move on, then everything is usually better.

Answer 5

You should take care of the dog.

Answer 6

If you take the dog, take it for keeps, and make that clear. I do not believe in dog-sitting for more that a few days. It is not fair to the dog.

Answer 7

Take care of the dog...tell him no problem...you are used to caring for dogs.

Answer 8

Do you like the dog? If you like the dog then go ahead if you don't like the dog say no. If you don't like your ex husband don't take out on his dog. Its not the dog's fault, he's just a dog.

Answer 9

I think he is having problem either with his latest girl friend or his wife and wants to beat his way back through the dog. The choice is yours either you want him back or you don't. This should guide you in your decision about the dog as it is not about the dog at all but about moving back. Thats all.

Answer 10

if it is his dog than doesn't that mean it is also your sons dog??? just because u have a paper that says u r not divorced does not mean you are cause you have children and like it or not 4 the rest of your life you and that person have a family 2-gether....