if it leads to a better sex life between my husband and I? A co-worker friend of mine and I talk a lot about sex, likes and dislikes, etc. He's been able to give me lots of ideas to try with my husband, my husband knows we talk about it all the time and doesn't care as long as it's just talk. I even told hubby he had co-worker to thank for some interesting twists to our sex life. I help the co-worker with problems with his wife, we're just good friends, but sometimes I wonder if it's strange to have these conversations. I mean, we both know we're attracted to one another, but we're both trying to help each other with our relationships, not get involved with each other. My husband is ok with it, his wife would not be happy.
2007-04-04 09:54:35 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I should also mention that I know my husband talks about sex at work with his female coworkers, too. No problem for me, again, as long as it's all talk and no touch. My husband knows I think coworker is attractive, he's not threatened. We work across the city from one another, it's all email talk, not in person.
2007-04-04 10:13:27 · update #1
I think its perfectly ok to talk to anyone you may be friends with regaurdless of if they are male or female.. You have to talk to someone right? Its great for the relationship to be able to talk to people outside of the relationship about your sex life to get feed back, and be able to make things even better, etc.. As long as the person your talking to stays stricktly a friend you just confide in then its ok to do so. Things should always stay innocent, and if they get to the point where it isnt so innocent anymore its time to cut ties with the person before something happens to mess up your marriage. I have a bunch of guys friends I talk to about my sex life, and it never goes further then just us talking to eachother. It dont lead into anything.
2007-04-04 10:27:39 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say, yeah it's a little strange. Especially that you admitted that you are attracted to each other. Are you sure your husband is okay with you discussing the very intimate details of your sex life with a male co-worker? I bet he wouldn't be if he knew you were attracted to him. Sounds to me like you are just telling each other what you each like so that you'll both know what to do when you start having an affair. I'd be very careful with this if I were you. One day that sexual tension is going to turn into a total mess and you are going to be very sorry you let it get that far. You also don't want to get caught up in any kind of sexual harassment issues being that you do work with this person. I think it's time to stop having these conversations. It will lead you nowhere. If you need to talk to someone about your sex life, talk to a girlfriend.
2007-04-04 10:08:42 · answer #2 · answered by sweetsar99 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is disrespectful to your husband and your friend's wife. I am quite sure that both your friend and you fantasize about each other sometimes. You will soon find a good reason to get even closer, may be with the pretext of teaching or learning something. I think it is just a matter of time before you will both get intimate.
My wife had a close male friend and over time their discussions became more and more informal and personal and eventually they were passionately in love, all in the guise of being two good friends.
2007-04-04 10:11:06 · answer #3 · answered by krsh28 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think what your doing is wrong and if your husband is saying he is okay with it he is lying. if you want help in this area maybe tal to your hubby and get a book or research on the net or go as far as getting professional guidance. You should not be discussing your sex life to a work colleque especially another guy. If anything you are telling this guy your husband is bad in the sac would your hubby be happy about you saying stuff like that I doubt it?
Really if you know his wife would be pissed maybe that is a good reason to stop this crap on the job!
2007-04-04 10:15:27 · answer #4 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're playing with fire. You both know that you're attracted to one another - so stay away from the topic of sex. Four people, plus children (if any) are quite likely to get burned badly if the two of you should slip.
Your co-worker needs to take a marriage class and/or to discuss his marital issues with a Pastor/Rabbi/Counselor, and a male one, not with any woman (not even you), unless either his wife or her husband is present. Couples counseling is often done 2 on 2 in churches: husband & wife counselors working with both husband & wife (in trouble or simply wanting a better marriage).
You need to invest in sex books, maybe a set of "love dice," and keep your ideas for experimenting in the bedroom between yourself, your husband, and the library/bookstore.
You can even find Christian sex and love books, booklets, and classes. God invented sex and the Bible promotes it (albeit only between husband and wife). Enjoy yourself and your husband, but keep what's private between the two of you.
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2007-04-04 10:13:11 · answer #5 · answered by fox3bhc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think thou treadeth on thin ice and are playing with fire. You have already said that you are both attracted to each other, red flag number one. You also said that his wife would not be happy, red flag number two. How about showing some respect for her even if you husband is cool about it? I can also assure you that if his wife would not be cool with it and he keeps doing it, then he has hopes of showing you in person some of the things you are talking about. Time to pull back before you regret what you are doing and where it gets you.
2007-04-04 10:06:18 · answer #6 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The lady doth protest too much, methinks. All of this is just wa-a-ay too innocent. If you're trying to get a stamp of approval from total strangers for this game...that's pathetic.
This doesn't sound like a fabulous marriage. Sounds like "it's for the sake of our sex life" is just an excuse to keep looking around--for both of you. The committment level is about 0.
I think it's also possible one of you is lying--it may indeed bother your husband that you're talking about HIS sex life with another guy, but he won't say so because he wants to look cool. And NONE of you are respecting your co-worker's wife. I don't know that you're people I would like to associate with.
2007-04-04 10:30:39 · answer #7 · answered by katbyrd41 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok it is wrong if you're both attracted to each other because that is how it all begins...first "just friends" Helping each other out then attraction ...then an affair. Talking sex with your girlfriends is cool and even the guy friends that you have no interest in ever seeing naked but if you have an attraction you're playing with fire.
2007-04-04 10:02:58 · answer #8 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-22 22:33:55 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is wrong because it bothers his wife. As long as one person's partner is not cool with it, it shouldn't be going on. Adding the fact that you admit you are both attracted to each other. You may be trying to help each other out with your relationships, but your relationship (and I know it is friendship)is not helping his marriage. So yes...it is wrong.
2007-04-04 12:58:30 · answer #10 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋