How many people stay in bad relationships?

Question

Why is it so crippling not to divorce and live in the same house with a spouse that is more like a room-mate than a spouse? How many people have separate bed rooms from their spouse, separate accounts, and just share responsibility with the kids? I dont understand why I just can not divorce when I want to so bad. Who is going through this or can enlighten me on why doing something is so hard.

Answer 1

It's called "co-dependancy". You get used to him....even if you're miserable, at least you know what you're dealing with, and the "unknown" of leaving makes it even worse than the known. It's called fear of failure. It's called, resistance to change. It wears many hats, but it all goes back to "fear" of some kind. It's not hard once you take the biggest "first" step.

Answer 2

To answer your main question far too many but every relationship and alot marriages have rough patches that you need to work through. No one said life is easy and marriage is a cake walk really maybe if you spent the time and effort into fixing your marriage and finding out why your spouse is like this instead of asking a bunch of strangers for an idea or sympathy. You may just come to the conclusion that neither of you communicate enough and that is the main reason your
troubles have started. Really alot of couples have seperate bedrooms for many reasons, snoring, twitching, early mornings etc. Really though if you feel this way maybe you should just divorce because life is too short to be moody all the time.

Answer 3

Alot of people do not remove themselves from bad relationships. Sometimes it is just more comfortable to stay with the known - even if it is known to be unpleasant- than venture out on their own. Many people stay with a spouse simply for financial reasons, and they feel they couldn't handle the responsibility of supporting themselves alone, especially when children are involved. And then others have co-dependency issues and find it hard to extract themselves from an abusive relationship (especially if they grew up in a similar environment... it's all they know.) Usually some force from the outside has to work on them to effect some kind of change.. Like another potential partner entering the picture..

Answer 4

I to am in a bad relationship, and god knows why people stay in these kind of situations, I've been with my partner for 18yrs we have no children and no marriage, yet still I can't seem to get the courage to make the break. The only thing I can say to you is if you're young don't stay in a dead relationship, I'm nearly 60 so feel it's to late to make that change, but wish I'd done it 10yrs ago, it's a lonely existence living with the wrong person and not worth the heartache, it is after all only FEAR of the unknown, just afraid to make that change, we are so resistant to change, always go with your gut instinct, if it doesn't feel right then it isn't so do something about it. Good luck. Rosanna.

Answer 5

Folks in general (not you exclusively) should be A LOT MORE careful who they have children with.

Yet they are not, sadly.

Amazingly, some people still, to this day, do not seem to realize or grasp the simple and obvious concept that once you have a child with someone, you are stuck with that person FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE (or, God forbid, until the child dies), whether you are in a relationship with that person or not!!!



You make your bed, you lie in it!



In your case, you ought to start filing for divorce as soon as you feel ready; you can still establish your children's custody through the courts, as most people do when dealing with divorce issues.

Good luck to you!


P.S. The only real victims of a divorce are the children who are stuck right in the middle of their parents' legal fight and court battle; they are always the innocent ones who will have to overcome the aftermath of their parents' divorce or legal separation and who are eventually left behind biting the dust.

Answer 6

I am getting out of a similiar relationship. No communication, seperate accounts, seperate bedrooms, one child. I realized one day, that my daughter was scared to death one day when my roommate( wife?) was yelling and screaming at me for me not caring. Which I don't. I realized what impact this was having on my kid. DIvorce in my mind is better than living in a miserable situation with no love, no trust, and nothing in common. I have wanted to get out of this marriage for a couple of years, and had officially check out probably 2 years ago. I realized that this was not fair to me, my ex, or my daughter. I hope this helps. Good Luck

Answer 7

You make it sound as though divorce is the only solution to unhappiness. It is not. Improve your marriage by improving yourself. Learn communication skills, start spending more time with your spouse, do fun things together, go back to your bedroom, merge your accounts, get active with your children. You owe it to your children to prove to them that marriage is important; that it can be good if you work at it; and that happiness is something to be created, not something to be sought.

Answer 8

For me, it's was holding out for hope that our marriage would get better. But it was made clear to me that it would take more then me hoping. I also believe it's because people are afraid of what else they may lose once they get a divorce. But they should think of what they can gain once they leave the marriage.

Answer 9

They do not divorce because they are in it til death do they part and this is quite honorable. They should try marriage counseling though to try to make a go of their marriage and to be happy with each other again and fall in love all over again. Marriage is what you make of it. Try counseling before giving up on your marriage.

Answer 10

It's because you love your kids more than you dislike your wife. You love your kids more than your desire to bonk a new chick. Good for you...you're part of the truly mature and responsible parents out there.