Male is 30 and Female is 44. She has kids and he doesn't. The female thinks the male should move on and have a different life that will give him the opportunities he would have without her. She feels selfish.
2007-04-04 08:52:39 · 44 answers · asked by Ann N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If you were talking 15 and 30 I'd worry. But at 30 and 44, both are mature enough for this realtionship to work and I'd say go for it. By the way, what about the opportunities he would lose without her - that's kind of selfish too.
2007-04-04 08:55:54 · answer #1 · answered by Isaac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing important about age differences is the maturity level of the individual relative to their age and life experiences. For example, there is generally a bigger maturity/experience gap between an 18 year old and a 33 year old as compared with a 30 year old and a 44 year old. In the situation you describe, if both love each other, there's nothing to worry about except... Does the male want children? A 44 yr old may not be able to have children when the 30 yr old is ready if he wants to wait.. That's the only way in which maybe the guy might have 'more opportunities without her' i think...
2007-04-04 08:59:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've left out the two most important bits.
Does she love him?
Does he - knowing everything she feels - still love her and want to be with her? She cannot decide for him what he feels and wants. This is not an 18-year old - at 30 he can make his own choice.
I have friends with 15 year differences and they are very happy. At the end of life, one will die sooner than the other, based on averages. But that doesn't always work out that way either.
Grab happiness when it shows up, and don't try to live other people's lives for them.
2007-04-04 08:57:03 · answer #3 · answered by Uncle John 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess that at those ages both people are a little more mature then say a 20 year old and a 40 year old would be. But alot of the time what I see the problem is in a huge age gap is the different levels people are at in life.
2007-04-04 08:56:37 · answer #4 · answered by Kellie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if the couple enjoys eachother and are confident that the relationship can work, they should not think of the age as such as negative factor. I am personally involved w/ a man who is just a week shy of being 42 and I am 26. Neither one of us has children, I had a hard time accepting the age difference in the beginning, but I am becoming more comfortable with doing what best suits me and what makes me happy.
Hope this helps.
2007-04-04 08:58:39 · answer #5 · answered by Evette H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well after reading all the answers before mine I feel compelled to answer. I'm 41 and my bf is 29. I have two grown children (19 & 21). I am unable to have children due to a hystoremcotmy when I was 25. We have been dating for 1 1/2 years now and I from time to time feel that way, about age, children, the future etc. As does he. We talk about it and always decide that our love is what really matters. Who knows we may even marry and decide to adopt. Or my children may marry and then we would have grandchildren. Which he is totally cool with. Love really is the answer.
2007-04-04 09:20:15 · answer #6 · answered by to_sassy4_u 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Female should probably get over herself and enjoy the ride. He's a big boy, and knows what he wants. Don't tell him what to do.
"Opportunities" probably means biological children. That isn't a need every man has. I think the female is afraid he'll find another woman down the road and leave her.
She should remember that love is a risk and nothing is guaranteed. Go for it.
2007-04-04 08:56:38 · answer #7 · answered by Simply_Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like an Honorable and unselfish individual to me! He will ultimately make a decision and I think you've shown him respect as well as love as a form of support. If he chooses to stay with you and he is happy I see nothing negative about this choice at all. I think that you're hoping that he will choose to stay but you want him to freely choose for your peace of mind. In my experiences there is nothing wrong with age differences unless it becomes a personal issue with the persons directly involved. If this is the case then you're right to re-think the situation and give the option of separating for the other persons benefit even though it will not benefit you. VERY UNSELFISH and HONORABLE!! I hope it works out for the best! Good luck!!
2007-04-04 09:05:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the guilt is hampering that relationship more than the age difference. Maybe they should date for a while longer before making any major decisions. Guilt by itself should not break up an otherwise good relationship, and it's not fair of her to decide for him whether he wants other opportunities or wants the opportunity to stay with her.
2007-04-04 08:57:01 · answer #9 · answered by charmedchiclet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that age really matters, I know people that are 10 years apart. It depends on what each person wants, if he is interested in have children and your not he should probably move on, if he isn't interested in children then thats ok. If you have other opinions that you agree about or disagree these are the things that you need to work out or decide to move on.
2007-04-04 08:57:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋