I need to tell her as he gets married very soon - has anyone done this before? Does anyone have any suggestions re how I can soften the blow / survive the fallout? They divorced last month ...
2007-04-04 08:22:40 · 11 answers · asked by Onwards&Upwards 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
its not your place to say, its his! i get sick of being in the middle of my divorced parents, nothing makes you feel worse than seeing their faces when you leave or tell them something about the other one. the guilt never leaves you.
its not your fault they split up, and its not your responsibilty to make up for it or explain anything, so just tell your mum in as casual way you can. preferably when shes in a good mood!
wow, i thought you said they split up last YEAR not month! oh dear. definately try and put a lighter spin on it in that case, she could be devastated
2007-04-04 08:30:06 · answer #1 · answered by hana woo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say but as soon as a couple get divorced then any one or both can get married straight away.
Your mum & dad are no longer a couple which is sad for you but they are both still your mum & dad.
Divorce happens so too often in this country so when its time for you, make sure that you choose the right partner & always be honest & open & make sure that your children do not suffer a seperation of parents like you have.
Remember your mum has a life too & hopefully she may meet another person.
Your mum & dad still deserve some happiness in the future & you will be away making your family
Best wishes to you, your mum & dad
2007-04-04 13:35:10 · answer #2 · answered by ANDREW H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going to start out hard, so please bare with me.
Divorce means severance.
No one has to tell your mother anything, so don't feel that it has to come from you.
She doesn't have batting rights any more so you don't have to be the cricket ball.
I know it is hard for her and for you. It is a period of mourning that isn't easily understood by those on the outside.
But...
A new day is dawning.
Your father is moving on with his life. Pretty soon he will find out if he made the greatest mistake anyone can ever make by leaving your mother or it was the right and honourable thing to do.
Now she has the opportunity to be herself again without let or hindrance from anyone.
The best you can do is to live your life with verve and zest at the moment and let her see that you ar pleased that she is free to be herself " ......... .........." ( put in her name) , not so and so's mum or wife and sometimes that isn't a bad thing.
It is a new beginning.
God bless and good luck to all of you.
2007-04-04 09:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by Christine H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way to soften the blow. It's too early. I got divorced recently too. It took me a few months to stop crying about it. Takes a while. You can do something. You can ask her to leave the same state--maybe for a vacation or for a job. Anything to get her thinking about herself and how much fun she can have now that he's gone.
2007-04-04 08:31:54 · answer #4 · answered by crazyloonynice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good grief thats quick, no wonder you are worried about your Mum.
There is no way to soften the blow, tell her outright and just be there when she falls apart. She will be angry and hurt. Make sure she knows she can talk to you even if you don`t agree with what she says don`t comment just let her talk it through with you.
2007-04-04 08:30:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had to hear from an old neighbour that my ex husband was getting married again. I was very annoyed, as I felt we had a civilized relationship;OK, I didn't see him too often, but we had had four kids together, and he was still involved in their lives a lot. I wish he had told me himself. I think you should get in touch with your dad and tell him it's his place to tell your mum.
Don't take this on yourself, it's not your job or your place to do it. Let your father be a man and tell her, it's not fair for her to hear from anyone else.
2007-04-04 11:14:52 · answer #6 · answered by marie m 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my Lord...your dad was cheating on your mom with his fiance while your parents were married
*why would he get remarried a month after getting divorced?...hmmmm...
2007-04-04 08:34:39 · answer #7 · answered by Ghanaian Princess 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
been there - 5 years ago - don't know whether my mum knows my dad remarried as i didn't say anything - as it's there life, and it's too short for anymore heartache.
Why do you feel it's your duty to tell?
2007-04-04 09:49:28 · answer #8 · answered by bertram baines 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is hard on you, the best thing though is to be totally truthful with your mom, let her know as soon as possible, as it will hurt her if she finds out that you knew and did,nt tell her.good luck, and remember the truth is always best.
2007-04-07 04:03:27 · answer #9 · answered by JOJO 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my step son feels he has this trouble between his parents i find banging their heads together works. i told his ex wife we were getting married so that my stepo son didnt have to. thats how a responsible loving parent should act
2007-04-04 08:32:45 · answer #10 · answered by charley 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋