Primary with shared custody?

Question

Is there such thing as this scenario? Father and mother share childeren equally physically, living at both places equal amount of time. Father wants to have primary care and control yet share them equally with her. Her decisions are not always the best and she makes some bad judgement calls so he would like the power to be able to make the last call on some things and he thinks necessary, that way she will probably keep herself in line better knowing that her bad decisions may have conseqences. Is this possible to have custody in this way? Also he does not want child support and she does not either, but we heard that if someone has primary care they have no right to refuse child support from the other parent. Can someone explain to me how some of this works?

We are in Canada.
It is not reall "amicable", she wants shared primary because she thinks she is responsibe. Not really the case though.
She does not want the divorce, she had an affair and he didn't take her back afterward, so he wants it. Therefore he can't bribe her giving him primary care to sign the divorce papers.

Answer 1

Yes there is a custody agreement like this.When I got divorced this is what I wanted.My ex was going through some wild crazy stage and I was concerned for my kids.The only way i would agree to her terms in the divorce was she had to make me the primary care person.We shared equal decision making but if something didn't set well I had final say so.The kids lived with me but visited their mother often. I didn't want child support from her and we had it written in the divorce agreement that both of us would share expenses.We made an agreement together that each of us would supply the needs of the kids. I was never forced to take child support from her as long as we agreed to share custody.When the kids chose to live full time with me she was supposed to pay me but I wouldn't accept the money.Her lawyer stated that she was to pay me but couldn't force me to accept the check and cash it so we wavered the fee.

Answer 2

You will find that laws vary from state to state. In my area the state requires a $50 minimum child support no matter what the custody arrangement. With joint physical custody the parent making the most money will pay. With one person having primary physical custody the non custodial parent will pay the child support. If the custodial parent is not on state aid you can get around these laws like I did with my ex. I have custody of our son and I agreed on the state minimum support. To offset that I gave her a $9000 property settlement. So she doesn't pay the support and the amount she is ordered to pay each month is deducted from the settlement. This would all be thrown out the window if I applied for welfare though. The only way to have the final say is to have physical custody, joint custody means you both need to agree.

Answer 3

All of this is correct, except you do not have to accept child support, especially if the children will spend EQUAL amounts of time with both parents and therefore each parent will provide each amount of care, expenses, etc. In New Jersey this scenario is becoming more and more common and has worked well. My friend uses it and her daughter benefits from the situation I think (her ex also has primary custody because she has a medical condition) but they share physical custody. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 4

Well, I can give you hit or miss ideas.....for him to be the custodial parent (the one who mainly makes the decions for the children) he would really have to prove her unfit to do this..which will cost him time, money and energy. The child support issue is based I believe on incomes; like if they both make the same amount, the child support could be waived. Talk to your attorney about this....there are lots of missing pieces probably in the situation that you may not want to dicuss on here which is fine =); that's why I gave you hit or miss informaton. Best Wishes!

Answer 5

It probably varies state to state. The people who I used to be a nanny for got a divorce and had a similar situation. He was the primary guardian but they shared custody pretty equally. I believe there was support involved but that is generally a separate issue. This was in AZ.

Answer 6

Child custody and child support laws vary from state to state. If the two are this amicable, they should head to a lawyer together to discuss setting up this arrangement legally, and get all the answers to the support questions.

Answer 7

It depends on the Laws for your state, but in mine there is such a thing. Joint Custody with an added statement in the custody papers naming a parent who has the final say.

Answer 8

I have shared and primary custody of my son who is 12, we both have about 50/50 time and she is getting married for the third time twice since my son, to much for my son in 12 years.I have primary care can I not give her my son on overnights if I don't wont to.

Answer 9

you could desire to document with the courts for a modification in newborn help--they'll might desire to contemplate her new earnings, and could might desire to recalculate the quantities as a effect. she would be able to might desire to declare whilst she have been given the job, and it provides you a "credit" if she did no longer tell the courts and additionally you have been paying in accordance to her no longer having an earnings for some months, so verify to request evidence of her employment date as properly.