My husband and I have been married for 10 months. I try my hardest to be completely selfless (which I am) and I take care of him and am a good wife. He leaves me home alone all the time, lies to me about the smallest things, and only thinks of himself. I tried to talk to him about all of our problems last night and he fell asleep.
2007-04-04 06:50:48 · 20 answers · asked by Courtney T 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is an annulment still available? We live in California so I'm not sure how that works.
2007-04-04 06:55:48 · update #1
Oh man. The first year is the hardest babe. Hang in there. Don't think about jumpin ship. Get counseling w/him. Tell him he's ruining the marriage right out of the gate. You are being a good wife, never think otherwise. He just needs a good wuppin'
2007-04-04 06:55:35 · answer #1 · answered by prouddaddy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself why did you marry this man in the first place. He couldn't have changed dramatically from a good guy to a jerk within just the last 10 months. There was something that attracted you to him, something that made him worth marrying. Is this "something" now gone completely? It's not good to stay in a miserable marriage - but if you don't take the time to understand what went wrong, you are running the risk of making the same mistake over and over again. Figure out what you can do better next time, if you can't make this one work.
2007-04-04 14:03:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's only been 10 months, this can't be new. Why did you marry him in the first place?
If you're going to make it work, you'll need outside help. Someone to corner him and make him behave. Go to his parents or if you have a pastor, go there.
I hate divorce, I don't think it solves anything. If you divorce him, it's still going to be the same you picking out the next husband, and the same you will pick the same kind of guy, so I don't see how that really improves things. You need to change the situation, not find another.
Divorce will only help if you do something to change.
2007-04-04 14:31:39 · answer #3 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think is better for you to be happy. In a marriage there are always going to be things that you like and thing that you don't the important issue of this is which of those things are you willing to put up with, make a list, and you will have your answer, life is too short to be unhappy and to waste time, 10 months is also so little time to even adjust to each other figth and try first.
2007-04-04 15:35:00 · answer #4 · answered by zucca 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you both married, when you weren't ready - and possibly for the wrong reasons. That is a sad state of affairs, but not hopeless. You should seek marraige counseling to reconcile your issues. He definitely needs to treat you better. Marraige truly is a sacred vow, that should never be broken. But we have so terribly abused it - and each other - that even God made an exception: Infidelity. Short of this, people should try to work it out, instead of run, when possible. If there's an issue of abuse - get a separation, and seek safety. I really hope you both are able to rise to the vows you made. Never lower the bar to meet your deficiency. Be noble, and do what's right.
2007-04-04 14:05:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, you have only been married for 10 months, you are still going through that period of "getting to know eachother", I suggest that you talk to him, whenever he comes home, and have a heart to heart!
Believe me, marriage is not easy, I have been married for fifteen years, and I have been through what you are going through! You will go through many trials and tribulations in your marriage, but if you keep communicating with eachother, it will make your marriage a lot easier, and that is something I am suggesting you do with your husband, is to communicate.
A lot of people, including me, have this fantasy about marriage, a beautiful wedding a beautiful honeymoon, and a beautiful stress free life together.
That is not the case, you can have all of this and more if you communicate with eachother, which I suggest you do. Before your frusturations about your marriage turn into a mountain and you keep holding it all in, which is not good, let it out, and talk to your man.
He deserves to know how you are feeling. From my experience, I have learned that men are not mind-readers.
2007-04-04 14:00:46 · answer #6 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was there and I stayed in my marriage because I felt like that is what I was supposed to do. Now it is 6 years into it and I am a huge mess.
Don't let people make you feel like it is the "right" thing to do to stay with someone that doesn't treat you with respect. If you don't do anything about it now it will only get worse.
2007-04-04 16:23:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave and dont look back. Don't play good wife play 50/50 relationship. You should not take care of him you are not his mother. He should play an equal partner in the relationship and if he is gonna ignore your problems then you need to leave him!
2007-04-04 13:56:24 · answer #8 · answered by chunkysmom3502 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of wanting a divorce try marriage counseling first for you and your husband. I wonder if he is cheating on you or being unfaithful. You may want to have him watched and followed to see what is going on with him. Tell him to either go to marriage counseling with you or to start talking to you. See what he says to this.
2007-04-04 14:07:41 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the h*ll out. He wants a mother, a maid and a whore and is not willing to put out for any of it. You can do much better, just about anyplace. I got divorced after less than a year and it was my best move ever.
2007-04-04 13:57:30 · answer #10 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋