I've been with my husband for 10 years i cheated on him about two years ago. We had separated for a while and I was in a realtionship with the new guy. Things got complicated I ended up pregant and my husband and I got back together because I found out I was pregant I ended my realationship with the other guy. Sometime I miss this guy and although we still talk i stay my distance because I really don't want to hurt my husband again. He been a great father and he is trying to show me he change, by taking us out before he wasn't an outgoing kind of person. I just don't know what to do I don't know if I am just with him because I am use to him or because I love him please help me
2007-04-04 06:45:21 · 9 answers · asked by lisa b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your with him cause he lets you stay, even if he's a cuckold. That's classy, I think, but your with him cause he's also easy to use. Pay him back with great sex, and affection , even if you think he's not your type, I'm betting you get turned on by ex-cons, criminal types, low life, and vicious psychopaths. He's probably just not mean enough to really get your juices going. But to answer the question, yes you are in love with two people, yourself, and your boyfriend.
2007-04-04 07:04:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Emotional intimacy fuels sexual desire so if you are sharing deep emotional stuff with two people, you can love both of them.
My guess is that you haven't gone over the affair. That you haven't really grieved for the end of it.
In order to put your marriage back together, I highly recommend marriage counseling.
There are a few good self-help books out there as well:
After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, Janis Abrahms
Infidelity: A Survival Guide by Don-David
Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix
A Couple's Guide to Communication, John Mordechai Gottman
Love in the Present Tense: How to Have a High Intimacy, Low Maintenance Marriage, Shechtman
Relationship Rescue by Phil McGraw
2007-04-04 13:59:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being "in love" has more do to with love for the life you THINK you will have with this person than the love for them.
Loving is a complete acceptance of how each of you truly are.
It takes years to know someone.
You know your husband and therefore can truly love him.
The other man you know a LITTLE, but that can still be his "Dating Ego". His real character will come out over time, but you might not like it.
Its you decision to risk what you have (your husband/family)for something that might not even be real.
Its possible the other man is a truly great guy way down deep, but what if he's a jerk of Dad or a *** who likes to play with married women, but doesn't want the responsibility of day to day life.
2007-04-04 14:16:46 · answer #3 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You went and did what a typical guy does and cheated on your husband. But do still love him is your question. We can't answer this question for you only you can. so step back and think about what it is you really want maybe you miss the other guy because he was fresh new feelings women are helpless romantics and we miss this when we have been in a relationship for a long time. Can you see yourself without your husband for the rest of your life? Can you see him making his new life with someone new?
2007-04-04 14:02:17 · answer #4 · answered by oreo29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True love does not come in multiples insofar as a partner is concerned. It sounds like you have a good husband but lust after your paramour. That should give you something to chew over.
2007-04-04 13:49:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grass is always greener...YOU need to decide... but if the other guy cheated w/you....he has no morals or integrity, sounds like the husband is trying to make things work, get rid of "cheater boy" and devote yourself to your family. seek counseling too
2007-04-04 13:53:24 · answer #6 · answered by pamnation14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can help you except yourself , but I think you love your husband and use to your bf,try to forget him and make more place on your heart for your real family.
2007-04-04 13:53:17 · answer #7 · answered by <<< sky >>> 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's either love or lust. One is lust!
2007-04-04 14:02:26 · answer #8 · answered by John 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One or the other................cheater
2007-04-04 13:49:40 · answer #9 · answered by Stitch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋