So yesterday was our 3 year anniversary. I sent him an e-card (which I know he received since it said so in my inbox) JUST in case he forgot.
Waited all day, no reply whatsoever.
When I got home from work he said not one word the entire evening. He made himself dinner, left me to care for the baby, and watched TV. Finally at midnight, I just gave him the presents I bought and told him I'm going to bed. He asked all stupidly "What is this for?"
I said "Our anniversary". He then tried to play that he didn't remember. I asked him about the card I sent him..he claimed he didn't have the "chance" to really read it.
I don't know what hurts more..the fact he did absolutely nothing..no card, not even a mention. Or the fact he claims to have "forgotten"..obviously taking me for an idiot.
What would you do in this situation? I am tired of being the only one in this relationship.
2007-04-04 06:41:28 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
H, that might be true in many cases..but not mine. I earn 60% of our household income so I support him more than he supports me. Plus I take care of baby 99%. Also, I am in the process of sponsoring him for citizenship which is why I have my doubts.
He is a very smart guy and doesn't let a single detail drop, so I'm not buying the "forgot" excuse.
2007-04-04 06:52:31 · update #1
Ouch Honey! that stings. I hope you really dont sponser him for citizenship. You dont need him in your life, C'mon 3 years and he has no more affection for you that he treats you this way? Loser, and yo udont need to have someone drag you down in this manner. It's going to weigh very heavy on you if given more time and then what? You have lost time and energy that could be blossoming and returned to you 10 fold! There are times when a guy may not want to be the romantic, most men arnt but alot of them are. I gotta force myself to be alot of the time and thats because my wife deserves it. I should be that way more but I will make sure that a couple times a year she knows that I truely do care and love her. I will be the helpless romantic if even for the one or two nights that mean alot to her. If he isnt willing to do that little man Honey you arnt going to see mush effort at any other time. Lay it out and if there is not immediate change then send him along.
2007-04-04 07:12:48 · answer #1 · answered by Hawaiian Bruddah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men just don't understand the big deal with Anniversaries, Birthdays etc. (mine included). He could have simply forgot and really didn't read the message (it does happen). Work sometimes keeps people so busy that they simply forget important things or special dates ( we have both been know to forget our Anniversary sometimes).
Instead of just assuming he knows about this special day and waiting for him to acknowledge it, why didn't you say Happy Anniversary. It could have saved a whole lot of anger and resentment towards him on that special evening. Perhaps next time plan a night out and remind him of it that morning.
Talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel, he may have no idea how if affects you. There has to be communication and with him not saying a word the entire evening and not willing to help you, makes me wonder if there are other problems besides this one. I'd think about seeing a marriage counselor if nothing gets resolved.
2007-04-04 07:14:39 · answer #2 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are tired of being the only one in the relationship and you have a child together? Go stay with a relative, tell him you are filing for a legal separation and insist on marriage counseling before the situation gets any worse. Sometimes you have to rock the boat in order to wake people up! He needs to take your feelings and your marriage seriously.
2007-04-04 06:52:54 · answer #3 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a red flag. It seems as though he has "tuned you out" of his life. It is so lame that he received an e-card, and wouldn't have bothered to "really read it." I would be tired too if I were you, who would want to be in such an unfulfilling relationship? He is selfish, careless and thoughtless of your needs. He needs a reality check and you need to give it to him. Talk to him about what's going on, that he completely disregarded your anniversary and it's not okay with you. If he is willing to work on it, then do your best. If not, maybe you should move out for a while so he can realize what he has. Sometimes you don't realize what you have until it's gone...
2007-04-04 06:50:30 · answer #4 · answered by Andrea M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow that is cold, I remember one time that it was our anniversary and he came home from midnights and was all dirty and reading the paper and I told him to get ready for us to go out spend some time together he got all mad and started a fight it was really weird then it all end up insulting one another and wanting a divorce that day went to go to a lawyer and then he chickend out he went to his pastor to talk whatever he did that night at work or some guy told him something or converstation triggerd his mind to mess our day up. Guys go thru their periods too go figure I think he needs to pay more attention to the fact of his marriage and never forget his anniversary date.
2007-04-04 06:51:17 · answer #5 · answered by bustnloose_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it. Tell him that relationships are 50/50 not 90/10! To play devils advocate: just because your inbox said he recieved your message doesnt mean he read it. He could've just deleted it or not followed the link that it shows you to take you to the card ect. He could've forgot, but if he is gonna make one person dinner he should make it for everyone and he should be just as willing to help take care of the baby. Your husband sounds like a lazy man that needs to live as a bachlor for awhile.
2007-04-04 06:51:17 · answer #6 · answered by chunkysmom3502 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would tell him just that, that i'm tired of being the only one in this relationship. Then you demand that the both of you go to marriage conseling or it's over. Like it or not unless two people want to work at a marriage it will never last.
2007-04-04 06:53:17 · answer #7 · answered by mia w 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a communication breakdown. Don't just assume he doesn't want to meet your needs. He may just be too blunt an instrument to figure out what you are really after...affection and attention. May I recommend marriage counseling?
2007-04-04 06:48:36 · answer #8 · answered by FM?FU! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys clearly have bigger issues, and this is not just about your anniversary. Honestly, I don't care what day of the year it is, if my husband came home, didn't talk to me or our baby and made himself (and not the rest of us) dinner, that would be unacceptable
2007-04-04 06:47:21 · answer #9 · answered by who-wants-to-know 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't respect you or your marriage. People in love don't do that to each other. Clearly you have major problems in your marriage and you better have an honest sit down talk with him. Find out if he even still wants to be married to you, sounds like he would like out.
2007-04-04 06:47:53 · answer #10 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋