Ours was a love marriage. He has been cheating on me for so many years now. He is crazy of women & would go to any extend to get one. He was caught with women many times. I have 2 kids. To cut a long story short, I recently met a guy who showed lots of interest in me. He is infact a friend of my husband. He used to regularly come home & I somehow became very fond of him. He too got close & intimate. He knows about my problems & does not suggest anything. Calls me regularly & I find great comfort in him. I just cannot forget him. He knows I have feelings for him. One day I am sure, he will go away. What will I do? I have a small job. My husband is doing well, but cannot get over his obssession with women. Provides for us, but otherwise is very indifferent. Do I deserve a better life or should I just be put up with it. Its impossible to leave him, since I won't be able to take care of my kids on my own. (financially I mean). I have no close relatives & I am alone.
2007-04-04 06:10:55 · 7 answers · asked by bamboo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can relate to you since I was in the same situation, but in my case my "confort" came from a very close relative to my husband's.We passed a point of no return, and at the end this person wasn't the great person he used to be. I was left with a broken marriage, a double broken heart,and husband that now feels that has all the rigth in the world to treat me worse,and to cheat more openly. My self esteem was at the lowest level ever in my life.He even filed for divorce, and he's trying to the most possible, including my baby. My suggestion is just to separate from your husband for a while, and do not look for confort in ANY male"friend", until your feelings are more under control. Try to be easy with you, be friendly, but don't look "needy". Many men would take that as a open door to take advantage of your situation and worse, your feelings. Make female friends,get into a class, do some exercise, get a hobbie. Do whatever you need to fill your life with something new, but a men. I know that pain, 'cause I also don't have any close relatives, and almost all the people I know are coworkers or mutual friends. Since they know "my mistake" many of them are more sympatetic of my husband's than me. If you don't have any money, I'll suggest you to prepare in advance, make a little bit of savings. Work in improving your credit, and by all means trust in yourself. No one else is going to take care of you or your children than yourself. Best wishes. You can do it.
2007-04-04 07:08:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely deserve better, but adultery is not the answer. The main reason you are drawn to this other man, is because he is (or you think he is) giving you what you aren't getting at home - what you are missing, and badly need - attention and making you feel wanted/loved. If your husband has been unfaithful, but is serious about wanting to change - the two of you should seek marraige counseling to get to the core issue of why he feels the need to behave that way, and seek resolution. If he is not serious about change - you have two options. Stay and deal the best you can - or divorce him. You would have grounds both legally and biblically. But doing to him, what he did to you - makes you no better than him. Don't stoop to that level. Don't degrade yourself this way. Stay faithful; and remember that infidelity is not just physical - it is emotional as well. I don't know how realistic it is to think that this other man will just "go away", but give yourself a reality check. Thing long and hard, before you act. Know that if this other man is willing to impose on a marraige once - he'd do it again. Don't deceive yourself; we humans can be very good at that. And honey - nothing is impossible. If you find you do need to leave him - there are services, resources, and people who can help. Reach out to them. You aren't the first woman in your position. Seek the advice of others in similar circumstances, who have made it out on their own - with children. There are state and county resources that will help you. I do not know where you are, so I cannot specify. But do a search. Just be sure to plan well, and consider everything. Above all - remember that the problem is his. Do not make it your own. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. You are priceless. Keep your head up. Stay focused and clear. Think before you act. You'll make it. You will. :)
2007-04-04 13:33:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, You do deserve a better life then what you have right now, but don't cheat with this guy. Find someway to get a divorce and then see what happens with him. You would be surprises what you can do if you have too. Why be unhappy all the time and allow your husband to bring you down with his cheating. He would have to pay child support. I am one who can tell you any woman can make it on her own. When we think we can't, then of course we allow ourselves to believe that nonsense. Your never alone because you have your children, plus God will always be there for you. I have made it on my own for 14 years, and at times wondered how, but through prayer and work I have made it. It isn't always easy, but can be down. Life is to short to be unhappy.
2007-04-04 13:22:55 · answer #3 · answered by Krinta 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow you sound like that couple from Save my marriage in a week on TLC. What if your hubby put this guy up to meet you and flirt? Because of his guilt? don't get yourself in his mess gets ugly real fast. then he could turn the page on you guys love to do that.keep on step ahead of him protect yourself.
2007-04-04 13:26:51 · answer #4 · answered by bustnloose_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may wish to go back to your own country where u can find family to help u out or whereever that family is located.
2007-04-04 13:18:57 · answer #5 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't you make it with support payments?
2007-04-04 13:23:17 · answer #6 · answered by Stitch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
come straight to my bedroom
2007-04-04 13:15:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋