Ladies, where are you in life at 40?

Question

Hello Ladies! I know there are many fabulous women on this site who have been through all walks of life. As I'm three years away from 40, I want to know where you ladies are at 40. Married? Divorced? Why (if it's not too personal)? Married a Second Time (Was it better or wish you stayed with the first)? Children? No kids? Single? Chose to be a career woman? What major choices did you make? What is a realization you've made about life along the way? A realization about yourself and your place in society? Anything else you'd like to share, feel free.

Answer 1

I am 45. And when I hit 40 I was smack dab in the middle of a career job. I had been a licensed Cosmetologist for years, aquired my teaching certificate and began teaching at a local Cosmetology college.
I hated it. It's sad, because even when I was in Cosmetology school the instructors told me I would be an excellent teacher and should consider it. And once I was there, well, it just wasn't what I had fantasised it would be.
I mean, I loved the teaching, and I was good at it, and my students excelled. But, I hated to rest of it. Office politics, lazy bosses, working massive amounts of overtime without being paid for it. Never seeing my family, dealing with hostile clients and crazy adult students. It was a nightmare.
When I hit around 42 is when I had had enough. Only 4 years into it. And I was done.
But, I was also at a place personally, where I had realized some things for myself.
First of all, I have a wonderful husband and 2 fantastic sons.
And I realized that this was what was important. For me. The job was taking me away from this and I wasn't fullfilled at work. And I was missing so much with my family.
So I quit. And stayed home for about a year. I am working in an Insurance Agency now doing Commercial Accounts. It's not as fun as the teaching job was. But, there is no stress at all. And I have regular schedule and have nights and weekends off. So I can spend that time with my family and enjoy life the way that suits me.
It's not for everyone, I know that some people think that this is the prime years and I blew it by leaving the teaching job.
But, I was blowing my life by keeping it.
And I am so much happier now.
I was never meant to be a career woman. I admit that one of things that I have realized about myself is that I have a huge domestic side. And it's not about being subservient or doing it to please anyone else. I do it because it pleases me.
I like to work, but, I don't want the stress that comes from being in charge. I don't like being put in a position of chosing my family over a job. Jobs are a dime a dozen, but, your family is your family for life.
I think that what I do now for my family makes a difference to them and to me. I think that if gives them stability, and it gives me peace. And that's so much more important to me than how much money I make or that we have.
I have been in position to have money, to make a lot of it, but, there was a price. My family. And that, for me was too high a price to pay.
I am proud of who I am today. I enjoy life alot more and don't worry so much about every little thing. I think that I contribute to society by giving my sons and husband a stable happy home that they can feel safe in. And this makes them better people when they go out into the world.
Now, I can be adventurous. My husband and I have bought road bike motorcycles, and we are riding them on a regular basis. We are moving to Vegas this summer to just try something different. And we don't care anymore about all the material stuff. We just need to have time for each other and to enjoy life. It's just too short, and we didn't want to waste it living the Corporate life. Because when we were, we weren't living, we were existing. The illusion is that if you make lots of money, and have lots of responsibility, that you are successful.
But, for us, what we found is that what we thought was success, was failure for us. We had it all, but, we never saw each other, we were always so tired and frustrated when we did, we didn't enjoy ourselves. And to us, we realized was failure.
The whole idea was to make more money so we could have more freedom to enjoy life. But, it stole all our freedom away.
Now that we are focusing our energy in different ways, towards our family, we truely feel fullfilled and successful.
Sure, you have to work somewhere and make a living. But, we decided, that true success for us wasn't what we had, but what we felt. This was the true measure of our success for us.
So, it works for us. And that is one thing I have realized is that, we cannot live for anyone else, and we cannot live our lives based on what other people may think or not. We had to find a happy medium and I think that is what we have done.

Answer 2

Turned 40 last July. Been married twice and divorced twice. Have a great education and a great job. My 20 year son is married with a two year old son in the Army. They live 2000 miles away. My other child my 18 year old daughter is graduating highschool in a few week and moving 2 hours away to start a new life and go to school. So I feel like I'm starting over in a way. Don't want to follow the kids, they need their own lives. Have a boyfriend that I dearly love but hes not marriage material and likely never will be so I'll probably move on. Thought about travleing somewhere exotic to work in my field. I still look 33 and have a good figure and friends. Life could be worse.

Answer 3

I'm almost 48. Divorced. Have 2 daughters. So many major choices were made for me because I thought I was being righteous and not doing what needed to be done. But I know that I am a strong person that many people look up to and it is because of the rough path that I went along. There are many that had it worse, but I've been married to 3 men. All ended in a divorce dealing with drug addictions and infidelity. Would I get married again? Yes, but my eyes are far more open now.

Answer 4

I was married for the second time, as with anything there was good with the bad. But do I regret my second marriage ... no
my husband is a great man. Life is whatever you make it no matter where you are in life you are going to have ups and downs. My only advice is to do the best that you can do and still keep your head up. You have to account for your actions and no one else and as long as you can have pride in yourself you have done well.
Oh and by the way....40 is just a number....I hit 50 this year and feel as good as I did at 40. Although my 40's were the most trying times of my life. I lost my son, went through my husband having a major midlife crisis, but you know through it all I have learned lessons and I believe my family and friends have learned through me.
Take care and have a great birthday...

Answer 5

40 this year. Married to a great man (1st time; no kids), but got married later in life and had a lot of fun before I decided I found the right guy.

Was a career woman for many years (however, worked in a female-dominated profession w/ low pay despite graduate degrees). My husband is in a high paying profession and his career requires that we move a lot. I made the decision to give up my job (for several reasons) and follow my bliss (working with animals) because thankfully right now his work allows this luxury.

I'm in a good place right now in most areas of my life and try to appreciate it. I don't feel "old" if 40 is considered old, and do feel that age is just a number. Life lessons...don't sweat the small stuff, count your blessings, and love yourself!

Answer 6

I look at life after 40 as the most fulfilling of all. I have a couple of years left to retire from over twenty years as a health care professional. I have remained worked as an social activist since my twenties and advocated for many who were part of the vulnerable populations. I am the primary caregiver for my elderly father who has been living with my family for the past three years. I work full time attend school part time getting ready to embark on a second career when I retire. I have raised three great children who have never been in any kind of trouble and have great compassion and empathy for others. I am the most proud of how they have grown up and the intelligence and broad minded view they all have. None of them are judgmental and they all believe in humanism or feminism. My son and daughter are both considering a career in medicine.
I have a wonderful husband who is also finishing up his career. He is my soul mate and we have always supported each other with our dreams and careers. Our home is one of equality where all help to work in a cooperative way. He plans on actively retiring while I continue to work in another field. I travel extensively and hope to devote a few month of my time next year to working in a helping capacity in Africa. The rest of my life is devoted to working towards making this world a place where everyone enjoys freedom which includes trying to eradicate poverty and other crimes against humans. I am satisfied with my personal choices and even events I once viewed as mistakes I am glad for since they have taught me so much in the ways of kindness and compassion towards other. I wish at times I had more patiences but perhaps that can be achieved through time.

Answer 7

I'm 52 now. Turning 40 was absolutely wonderful. Working, in the best shape of my life, married with 1 son. I'm still married to the same wonderful man (34 years). I now have a 7 year old grandson who is the light of my life. Have several health problems but am able to get out and about.(most of the time).Life is good. Don't ever worry about aging. It beats the alternative. LOL

Answer 8

i turned 40 6 years ago, i was and still am married to my first husband, at 40 our daughter turned 5 actually a day before i turned 40 she turned 5 to be exact
now at 46 i am working on fufilling my dreams i had at 40 i am well on my way to becoming trilingual, i have almost completed my first book, i have lost 35 lbs (half of what i want ot lose ) i am starting a business with my sister a long time dream and i am writing the script for what i hope will be my either first comedy video or a stand up comic routine
40's are a good decade to try out

Answer 9

I'm almost 49. At 40, I was back in the corporate world since I'd tried doing something I'd always wanted to do, wilderness guiding, but realized it was hard to work at something that was also your favorite hobby-the two get mixed and you end up without your hobby! I was glad that I'd gotten to do something so important to me, was involved with a partner I loved, had good friends, and felt challenged at my job.

Since then, I've changed careers again, feel like I'm giving back to the community, gone back to college, still have good friends, broke up with my partner, but am crazy about my boyfriend.

Have fun!!

Answer 10

I'm going to turn 40 in August, I've been married for 20 years, I have 2 boys and Im out of work because of a reck that messed up my neck. That makes me depressed!!!