This is a bit embarrasing but i'm a 19 year old virgin and i'm worried that when i do have sex for the first time that I will be rubbish and wont last long.
I dont want the girl to think im no good and to be honest id be happier if she got the pleasure rather than myself.
Because of these worries i stay away from women when they get to close because i dont want it confirmed that im a failure in bed.
Any tips to put me at ease?
Thanks
2007-04-04 05:16:35 · 23 answers · asked by Blink-Monkey-Blink 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Its like i do wana have a relationship with a good sex life but i just fear i wont be good enough in that department so she would end up leaving me
2007-04-04 05:22:17 · update #1
I was a late bloomer like yourself, first sexual experience with a long time boyfriend, who was inebriated (which sucked) age 19. It does get better. The amazing thing was when I met my husband 10 years my jr. (he thought we were the same age, I never have looked my age, being small & petite & having good genes & taking care of myself), he was a virgin & it was an honor to be with him. There were a lot of firsts & he had no baggage.
So stop worrying, find someone you love & con't your growth. :)
2007-04-05 05:20:52 · answer #1 · answered by Fraulein 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wait till marriage. Before you discount that notion let me tell you... it's wonderful. My husband and I saved ourselves for each other and our sex life is extraordinary. Yes, it was awkward at first, but the excitement, the newness of everything, the wonder, the learning, the passion... was heavenly and still is. Trust, true love and commitment all multiply the pleasures intimacy.
My husband didn't last long on our wedding night, but it was perfect because since I was a virgin too I physically couldn't take too much either.
By you saying "I dont want the girl to think im no good and to be honest id be happier if she got the pleasure rather than myself..." I can tell you have a good heart. That statement reminds me of my husband that right there is a key to having good sex.
That's all. Wish you the best!
2007-04-04 12:27:11 · answer #2 · answered by mrservasti 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety you'll find that most women will find it endearing, i know i certainly do, i think there is something really precious about being someones first partner...
it's nothing to be embaressed about, remember, we have all been there, i think many women would find it appealing that you've not "been around the block", your safe and free from passing on any STI's and i think she will feel quite special about being picked as your first.
yes, the chances are that you won't last long the first time you have sex, but neither does any other man on his first time. maybe try and encorporate a good deal of foreplay, if you orgasm before hand, it will take you longer to orgasm the second time...
I think everyone gets nervous about thier first time, you shouldn't stay away from women because your worried, remember your normal... everyone else has been in the same possition... and do you think the girl was any different? i bet she was scared half to death about being rubbish the first time she had sex!!
your not going to be a failure in bed, i'm sure your partner will think your fabulous, and remember, practice makes perfect!! :)
just make sure your comfortable and your with the right girl, she will understand, and everything will be just fine.
if you have any other questions, feel free to IM or email me, i'll aid you all i can :)
take care, all the best
Jorja xxx
2007-04-06 22:48:08 · answer #3 · answered by jorja_leigh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really want a woman to enjoy herself, spend a lot of time at foreplay. Women love to be kissed, caressed, and just made too feel nice and relaxed. Be up front about the fact that you're a virgin. The girl will probably think it's very sweet, and truthfully, no girl likes to wonder if she's number 5 or 10 or... Being with a virgin will probably make her feel very secure. Try to take your time and don't just start pounding away at the girl. If it doesn't last very long the first time, I know hardly any women that would say no if you asked to go again.
Basically, don't worry. Sex is fun - enjoy it! Just remember to always be safe and use protection.
2007-04-04 12:28:28 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel C 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all, relax. The more nervous you get about your performance, the worse it is going to make it. Let the girl know that it is your first time. If she has had sex before, she will be able to help you have a good experience. If she is a virgin, you will both have to figure things out as you go.
If you are afraid that you are going to orgasm too fast, try masturbating about half an hour before you plan to have sex. This should make you last longer for your orgasm with your girl.
2007-04-04 13:57:30 · answer #5 · answered by aqx99 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok Im a guy but I think this could help. In a nutshell almost every encounter is a new one so she is new to you just like u r new to her now except she is a pro or she does it a lot this theory should prove true. You just cant be nervous thats all. Also you might think of getting close enough to her to tell her its your first time, then end it with a joke and say "but Im drinking milk" hope this helps man. P.S on that night let Danny Devito's voice singing "Tnite is ur night bro" enter ur head lol it might take the tension away. Take care bro
2007-04-04 12:26:19 · answer #6 · answered by quentin w 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
don't worry most girls are worried about having sex too, so you won't be alone in your worries about being good in bed. Just relax as much as possible. You sound like a decent fella and that's all girls really want these days, don't be too worried, it takes a while to get sex right apparently.
I have to say most women would find the fact you care so much, so indearing and thoughful!:)
best of luck for the lucky women who you meet.
x
2007-04-04 14:15:24 · answer #7 · answered by SH2007 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry most girls will be fairly shocked but happy that you chose them to be your first... but if you've waited this long you might aswel choose carefully... and don't be like oh and by the way im a virgin straight away... but make sure she knows before you do get a bit steamy... but don't worry it should come naturally with some guidence from her! How can you be a failure when it is a natural thing to do!
2007-04-04 17:51:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly you need to stop stressing. this will make the problem worse. make sure the girl your with is an understanding girl and tell her your a virgin. its impossible to be a bad lover if your more interested in her pleasure. just ask her how she likes to be touched. and even if you dont last long the first time. take heart from the fact that if you go again when you get hard again then you will last longer. just relax and enjoy the experience.
2007-04-04 13:50:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no one really enjoys their first time but it is something we all have to go through if we want to mature and have good relationships, wait until you find a girl you are comfortable with and explain your worries (us females are not all bad) you never know she might be going through the same thing. Dont stress yourself out about it , it will happen for you and it might not make the earth move but once you get the hang of it you will look back later and wonder what all the worry was about.Good luck!
2007-04-05 04:36:05 · answer #10 · answered by lottie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋