Three weeks ago, my husband told me he didn't love me, never has and only married me 13 years ago because he was afraid I'd hurt myself if he didn't. Two weeks ago, he went to a concert with a "friend" and didn't come home unitl 6:30 AM. He told me he spent the night at her house, and was in love with her. Then he told me that they planned to move into her house together, but wanted a week to be sure it would work. I went to visit family for a week. When I returned, he wasn't home. We have a business together. He wants me to continue to run the business. I am so heart sick, and have been considering filing an alienation of affection suit against his girlfriend. Would you?
She has been a client of the business for 5 years. I am 9 years older than my husband, the girlfriend is 9 years younger....making her 18 years younger than I am. I don't want this situation to change me into someone that I'm not. Right now, I am just sad and looking for advice. Can anyone help?
2007-04-04 04:59:23 · 22 answers · asked by Mary F 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow! I can understand being hurt, even devastated, by the turn of events in your life. No one should ever be betrayed by their spouse.
Suing the girlfriend for alienation of affection, however, comes across as downright bitter. It also sends the message that your husband is a child and not responsible for his actions. As a married man, his obligation was to you, and no matter how much another woman tempted him, he should have been strong enough not to be "stolen away" from you.
I think I would keep running the business (if it is successful) and sue HIM for his portion of the business, all marital assets, etc.
I hope that in time your heart will heal. Please don't let this very bad experience rob you of happiness for the rest of your life.
Godspeed.
2007-04-04 05:11:15 · answer #1 · answered by museumdoll 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This happened to me last year, some of the circumstances were similar. After 14 years of marriage, my husband decided he no longer loved me and was not sure if he wanted to leave or not. Of course, everyone told me I should do the same thing, but as much as it would have given me some satisfaction to make his life miserable, I realized it would only drag out the inevitable..... getting over him.
As much as it seemed impossible at the time, getting over him was not as difficult as I thought it would be. I made him leave, as I was worth more than what he was willing to give me and our children. He moved right in with her, who was his boss at the time, and it did not take long for him to realize he may had made a very rash decision.
The whole point of my ramblings is this.... you are the most important thing you should be focusing on right now. There are a million things you will hear that you should do, but getting back on your feet is the only one you need to do. Suing her would possibly give you some monetary satisfaction, but it would be a drawn out process, and a shallow "victory". Revenge is best served when you can hold your head high and come out on top.
Show yourself, the world and him that you will not be beat by this and that you can go on and have a wonderful life of your own. It takes time, strength and faith. All of which will come.
2007-04-04 05:41:38 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for divorce on the grounds of infidelity. Take his home, and business. If this other woman remains a client raise her rates by 500%. By hurting them in the pocket book, you get back at them in the best way. Don't be sad, get even.
2007-04-04 05:18:19 · answer #3 · answered by krupsk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should go for the filing an alienation of affection suite and get part of his own company and that way he will be shocked ifyou have part or all of the business because he want you to run the business then you should be full time owner of that... and he gets nothing and go see lawyer and see what they can do for you smilng.....13 years and telling you have no love fo ryou ??? oh my god that is so sad.. and wasted... my wife and I been married for 10 years and still love eachother everyday.. and I know that you love him for 13 years and he just click the love button off. my god that so sad.
I think you should do that.
2007-04-04 05:05:52 · answer #4 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the place do you reside? interior the U. S., there are merely some states that still enable alienation of love complaints. maximum states have abolished them. Even interior the states the place they are nevertheless allowed, they are very stressful to win. with a view to prevail, you will desire to instruct that there replaced into ‘love and affection’ interior the marriage while she entered the image (and for this reason, she ‘stole’ that love and affection). often, that’s no longer the case. often, the marriage replaced into already in difficulty earlier the affair started. you may’t sue her for psychological and emotional abuse which you suffered as a consequence of the affair/the beginning of the new child. perchance you will desire to concentration your interest on the *genuine* to blame social gathering--your husband. in spite of each and every thing, this lady did no longer promise to ‘love and honor you and forsake all others’, yet your husband did. I’m specific this lady did no longer carry a gun to his head and *stress* him to have an affair together with her.
2016-11-07 04:53:41 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is some advice: Move on with your life the best you can. Focus on something different, like your kids (if you have any) take up a hobby. Don't waist anymore time on this guy (like suing him for breaking your heart). Easier said then done i know...hang out with friends and try and move on...I am sorry for what has happen to you....Good Luck
2007-04-04 05:06:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think age plays much of a role here, he wasn't with you 13 whole years because he was afraid you'd hurt yourself -he married you because he wanted to. This flirtation has been going on for some time, obviously. She doesn't respect your marraige or you, this is how some women are today, selfish to the core.. She was the key instrument in destroying your marraige--yes I would sue. She commited a crime, more women who think about doing this need to be aware it is againt the law. It is not acceptable, not even today. He was tempted by her but it was his decision to give into temptation. It doesn't have to change you, I don't think this would change you, in the big picture of life.
However she din't take any vows with you, he did. For awhile it is new for them, even though he knows your heart is breaking but their foundation is very weak because it is built on another person's sorrow. Your only recourse is to 1. turn to Jesus, no matter what your religion, turn to Him He knows all, tell Him you are sorry for all of your sins, ask Him to come into your heart to live today. 2. pray to Him for peace, He calls you to live in peace, even when the waters are raging. 3. take care of your health, sleep, eat well, get exercise, 4. seek [hopefully spritual] counseling, but do talk about it. 5. see a lawyer about sueing her. She willfully sought to destroy your marraige, even providing a place for him to live. God hates divorce except for adultery [He only allowed it ]because our hearts are hard. The best thing would be for your husband to turn to God and see his sin and beg your forgiveness but most likely he'll go his lost way in life. You need to do for yourself now. Try to be around well-adjusted happy people, please get into a good solid church. With time; the weight will lifted from your heavy heart.
2007-04-04 05:25:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you sue her, you will lose and you will become someone that you don't want to be. Just divorce your husband and move on. Why put yourself through additional heart ache and pain for nothing.
Don't look back and find someone new.
2007-04-04 05:05:09 · answer #8 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't spend five seconds worrying about the girlfriend enough to hate her....what goes around comes around, trust that! But I would divorce his sorry butt and never look back! It's OK to be sad....you are entitled....but this is not a reflection of you. It's a reflection of two people who don't respect marriage, honesty, trust and vows. That makes them pathetic.
2007-04-04 05:03:49 · answer #9 · answered by caraanne2005 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would sue for adultry, abandonment, and full ownership of business, home and all property. He needs to pay the price for his cold hearted behavior. Lack of commentment and adultry.
Good Luck!!
2007-04-04 05:04:58 · answer #10 · answered by lizzybit64 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋