I want baby he doesn't!?

Question

I have been with my partner for 2 years, he has 2 children from previous marriage unfortunatley x-wife a real *itch and uses kids against him (they are his world) I really would love to have his child as he is terffic father, he says can't have one even if wanted to as all the grief he has been through with ex and also doesn't think his 14 year old daughter would talk to him. Please help not sure what to do as love this man to bits and all I have in the world

Answer 1

I think he is worried about how his ex will react to him having another child,even tho its nothing to do with the interferring cow she will make trouble.
I would talk to him again and explain to him that even tho you love his kids,you still want a child together. But most of all explain to him that nothing will change with his kids e.g he will still see them as normal etc.....

If that doesn't work then show him your question on here and your answers.
Its not because he dont love you he sounds like he is trying to keep the peace. Ex's are always a problem. My Hubbys ex was and she went mad when she found out i was pregnant,tried to stop us seeing his kids and getting more money etc....that didnt last long. We all get along now,She will get over it too,TOUGH if she dont.
Your hubby is with you now,as long as he does all he can for his kids, stuff her!!
Good luck to you......You will be fine!!

Answer 2

My husband and I were in the same boat he has 3 kids with his ex 15 boy and girl twins and a 12 yo boy. He really didn't want kids, kind of bothered me but I dealt with that because I hadn't been able to carry to term with my late husband, had 15 miscarriages in 5 years, Then one morning it happened I woke up sick, took the test and was pregnant again. He knew my past, although he was quite upset that it happened. Told him if I could keep the pregnancy then I would, thought if I was able to carry to term it was meant to be. I had the baby and he is the best dad in the world and loves her to death, as do his 3 other children. He may eventually come around and as for his kids, they usually get jealous, not angry. Be supportive of his decision and don't get pregnant by ticking him, that would be the best way to lose him. Only time will tell what lies in your future. Good luck

Answer 3

Give him time. Be an honest and caring person. Show him that he can trust you. If you are meant to be, I'm sure he will come around and marry you and start a family with you. Wounds of divorce and custody battles take a long time to heal. If you don't feel you can be patient with him, then you should move on and find somebody who can give you the family you want and deserve.

Answer 4

Do you really love him?

Would you be willing to give him up if he wanted to return to his wife? (Theoretical question.)

How is it not selfish for you to want this man that was married and now apparently not understand that he doesn't want more children?

What do the kids think? Assuming their father cares what his kids think, what is that and how does if affect your thinking?

What sacrifices would you be willing to make to make others happy outside of yourself?

These are questions you should reflect on before you blindly accept any advice on this board or even verbal advice from friends and family.

Answer 5

Don't pressure him into having a kid with you.

Since you know he's a good dad, perhaps he still feel his two children are not independent enough. Therefore, he might want to keep his attention on both his kids.

Maybe it is a good thing to wait out until he's ready, or at least when his two other children are more independent in life. Also, in that manner, he could dedicate more time to you should you be expecting his child in future.

Answer 6

Ithink your guy needs to be given much more time. He is obviously not ready to have more children, I am sure this is nothing against you, you must try to understand that he has endured much unhappiness with his ex wife and I can understand why he doesn't want any more children. Please try to be strong and show him some empathy, I am afraid if having a baby is very important to you then this man is not for you. Best wishes.

Answer 7

Just don't pressure him into having one. If you have one when he isn't ready or doesn't want one, you will wind up a single mother. If having one one is SOOOOO important to you, you may just have to rethink your relationship. You need to figure out what your priorities are in this relationship, and go with that. I am in a situation where I have not been pregnant in almost 12 years. I want one with my fiance and he wants one, but neither of us wants one bad enough to go through fertility treatments. We know our priorities are his 5 year old son and my 17 year old daughter. If we have one of our own we do, if not, we have his grandkids now(he has a 33 year old son also) and our grandkids down the road.

Answer 8

he's watching his back because of what happened to him the first time....it's nothing personal...he's just been bitten and is scared that he may have to relive his past all over again...sensible man, maybe in a few years he may change his mind...also it's got nothing to do with his 14 yr old...she's the child...he's the parent and can decide for himself if he wants to have a kid...he does not need her permission....jus be patient...don't get pregnant without him knowing because this "could" finish it between you both and you may lose him forever, your young, live a little and enjoy life before having babies....once they are there...they are there for life....it's hard work bringing children up....be patient and enjoy your freedom with your partner first

Answer 9

Just give him sometime. Keep on talking to him about it, but dont push the issue too hard. He will probably warm up to the idea eventually. It doesnt sound like he is ready to think about it at this time in his life, that doesnt mean it will never happen though.

Answer 10

Sometimes you can't have everything you want. You picked a man who already has commitments, and doesn't want to stretch himself any further. It would be cruel and selfish to bring another child into this situation. Either accept his limitations, or find someone who is willing to marry you, and create a family with you.