Should I Propose?

Question

I have been dating the most amazing girl for 3 months. We have discussed marriage and we both argee that it will happen sooner then later. I am madly in love with her. If I do propose if wont be for a month or to. What do others think about proposing so soon? Thanks

I should add that I have met her family and she has met mine. My family loves her to death and her mom said we are two peas in a pod. We have talked about marriage and would have a longer engagement. The only thing is we both decided not to live with eachother before marriage do to our religious beliefs.

Answer 1

Sometimes, people think that in the first few months you are in a stage called the "honeymoon" stage. I know after 3 months of being with someone how much I care about them. Normally after at least a year, you really learn a lot about a person. If you feel that you want to propose, then do so, but have a long engagement. As my grandmother used to say...it is cheaper to call of an engagement than a wedding. This isn't to say that it wouldn't work (it sounds like you really care about her) but getting to know someone 100% takes time. I know that after 3 months of being with a man that I loved more than life itself, I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else. After a year, I learned what he was really all about. Some things I liked, some things I didn't and some things I couldn't stand. Once you realize that she isn't perfect, you will know if you love her as much as your heart says. I wish you all the luck in love in the world. I hope she loves you too because you seem like a great guy. I put links below to docs that may help you to make a decision.

Answer 2

Marriage is a HUGE deal, and not one that should be rushed in to. After all, why the rush? Are you just dying to have children? Are you religious, and "waiting" for marriage to make love? Are you 90 years old and thinking that you don't want to die having never been married?

Just because you're madly in love with someone, it doesn't mean that the next logical step is marriage. Why don't you just be madly in love with each other for awhile, and enjoy being madly in love? Marriage is LIFETIME committment. I encourage you to get to know each other better. Much better. Are your finances in line? Are you of the same religion? Do you both want, or not want, kids? Are your careers important? (Whose career is more important, and what happens if one of you wants to move?) What do you like to DO together? What do you like to do separately? Do you have similar interests?

Okay, so if you're convinced that marriage is the THING TO DO, why not move in together, and see how it goes? At least have a very long engagement (at A YEAR is a good start), and see if you still feel the same way.

Whatever you ultimately decide, I wish you both the very best.

Answer 3

I think you should get your head examined.

Three months is way too early, the two of you are just getting to know each other. The bad parts of her (and you for that matter) are still hidden and need to come out. Right now you think you love her, but the fact is your hormones are controlling what you think (for both of you).

The divorce rate is so much higher for couples that have been dating for less than a year before getting engaged (let alone married) it's not even funny. To think that the two of you will be the exception and not the rule is foolish, you have a better chance at winning the lotto.

Answer 4

How old are you both?

That matters.

Better find out if you are compatible with religion, money, kids, intelligence (should be within 5 IQ points of each other) all the biggies.

What do your parents say? The people who know you? What are your motives for marrying? To rescue her? Because you are insecure?
This is a lifelong commitment. She may vry well be the one, but what's the rush? Check it out a little more carefully, you can't think straight because you are too "in love" to pay attention.
Do you have a good job? Can you support a wife and child at this time, because your child should stay home with your wife, not go to daycare (daycare is not the best for a baby).

I like all the other answers of people advising caution and slow down. Sure it can work out, but it's moe likely that you will rue the day if you rush in without knowing her better. You don't want a divorce, do you? Then SLOW DOWN. If you are as perfect for her, then she will wait.

My ex told me 10 years into our marriage that he wished he hadn't been in such a hurry (we dated 6 months before we got married). He thought he still would have married me, but that he wouldn't have been in such a rush. We had different ideas about money and he was way smarter than I and it made me feel bad and I deferred to his opinion all the time because he was smarter and it wasn't best for me. Because we had a few different values and he was so much smarter psychologically than I, it affected our communicatioin and eventually our marraige ended. Do slow down. You need more info about each other so that you know what you are doing and won't wind up divorcing. For the sake of your future kids, slow down.

Oh, and I would say how smart are you about people, but then my ex was amazingly smart about people and still didn't detect that I wasn't as smart as he was (I am 118 and he is genius level). Of couse, it didn't matter as much to him as to me, I suppose. And then we had a few values that differed. I think I needed to know more about marriage than I did. I recommend you both read, The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Great book and should help you. And I like how you are waiting for sex, that is such a good good sign!

Answer 5

My friend, at the beginning of any relationship it is like that! you think that this person is the best ever and that you two were born for each other, but the truth is that you still don't know the real her! i think you should wait longer and meanwhile, try her loyalty and love to you, marriage is a big step so take your time, she won't run away!

Answer 6

If you're sure she's open to the idea, do it, but I'd say have a long engagement (a year or more). Three months isn't really enough time to learn everything you can about her. There might still be things about her that you need to know before you get married.

Good luck!

Answer 7

3 months is not really a very long time to know you have found your soulmate. I would give it the ol' one year before thinking of this. Have you lived with her yet? Sometimes people are different once you live with them. Give it time. You'll know when the time is right for you. I had to wait 4 years till my husband proposed to me, but we always knew he would, it was just a matter of when. You need to get to "really" know her before making such a committment. Good Luck!

Answer 8

I think you should wait longer. You are still in the first months of dating where everything always seems perfect. Just wait longer and see if you guys are the perfect match for each other. You guys probably haven't even had a fight yet. Anyways i wish the best of luck to you guys and hopefully it is the one.♥

Answer 9

Take your time........ do not rush marriage!!!!! Slow!!!! wait 4 or 5 months at least (hey lots of girls have to wait for it, why cant she) once you do ask......... be engaged for a long time. This will make sure you are doing the right thing!!!

Answer 10

You should wait longer. Unless you have known her a really long time aside from dating. You don't want to regret it later. If you haven't met her family, that's a good idea.