She's 18, going to community college, not doing very much homework, has ADD, works 3 part time jobs making ..not much, and has no clue how much things cost. To me she's acting immature instead of mature like she thinks she is. We just want her to find a career to go towards so she can support herself and move out when she can afford to. This is causing major fights..cuz she thinks we are nuts.
2007-04-04 01:39:34 · 16 answers · asked by Happy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
So let her move out, she will either make it or be asking to move back in. Let her learn her own lessons, sometimes that works best and is certainly better than fighting all the time.
2007-04-04 01:46:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like me from when I was 18 until I was well into my 30s. I too worked 3 jobs and didn't make much at any of them but they somehow added up to a little. I wasn't good at budgeting and I didn't have ADD! At least your daughter is going to community college. If she can get through that with some idea of how to use her degree to have a place in the job world, she'll be fine. She wants to move out - where to? A dorm? An apartment? Expect her to flunk if she already has little homework that you can see - there are lots of distractions to deal with in either case. On the other hand, there is no greater teacher than first hand experience - and learning something the hard way. She's young. She could even work full time and go to night school for awhile if she had to.
2007-04-07 13:18:42 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother had a rule about that. *L* There were 3 of us (girls) and the rule was that we could move back home ONCE and that was it. She understood that we were hormonal idiots at that age and wanted nothing more than to be out from under the watchful eye of our parents. She also knew that we could not make it on our own that young.
Let her go. She's of legal age and arguing with her is only going to make her resent you. Get her a token 'house warming' gift such as a set of cookware. And let her loose her wings and fly.
She'll be back home in 2-6 months time and, at that time, you can say "Now, listen closely, this is the LAST TIME you can move back home; you must get a grip on your finances and budget planning and have a better plan next time 'cause that will be IT."
It will be a great life lesson for her and she'll learn much from it. You'll be surprised at how much you learn from it, too. =)
2007-04-04 02:18:26 · answer #3 · answered by just common sense 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let her move out she will soon realize that living on her own isn't all it's cracked up to be trust me. I thought i could make it on my own and i was 17 though i did not have 3 jobs i just had one i still thought i could do it so i moved out and after that everything went downhill, unfortunately my mother wouldn't let me come back so i then had to mooch off of other people until i could get back on my feet which was extremely embarrassing for me and i to have ADHD. Your daughter seems very mature and independant to me, alot of teens these days find ways to stay home so they have no resposibilities, so they don't have to work ect. If i were you i would be proud of her at least she is willing to try to do things on her own, she goes to college and works three jobs thats a huge responsibility.You need to give her the benifit of the doubt and hope she can make it on her own after all she is trying and she is 18 she has the right to do what she wants..
2007-04-04 05:45:20 · answer #4 · answered by Kasja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu can do what I did when our "adopted" (daugter of a friend who lived with us for 2 yrs) wanted to move out. We had her tally up how much money she made in an average week. We then pulled out the Sunday paper and had her look for a place to live she could afford (we used 25% of her income to figure out what rent should be). We then had her list all the bills she would have.a phone, cable, food, transportation and what she would have to pay (or was already paying) for each of them. For the groceries, we had her write out a weeks worth of things she would eat and then had her use the sale flyers from the store to figure out the average cost. Once that was done, she discovered she would have about $30 a week leftover, which she though would be ok until we asked her what would happen if she got sick and missed two days of work (she was paid hourly). Or what she would do if the car broke? Once she saw it all laid out, with numbers to support what we had been saying, she decided to wait. Tell your daughter that she needs to show you how she can afford to do this. Once she figures out she can't, then you can talk about what she would need to do to reach that goal..and have her pay room and board to you as well. It will get her thinking about having monthly bills to pay and budgeting.
2007-04-04 03:13:38 · answer #5 · answered by Annie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a million. pass to a secure section and make constructive that there are'nt any creep's round that would want to damage you 2. attempt to get a house in a secure community(close to relations incase of an emergency) 3. make constructive you are able to locate the money for the position so that you dont pass into forclosure 4. pass in with depended on associates and siblings 5. keep up funds for groceries and in problem-free words groceries (staggering desires AND good success:)
2016-10-17 23:05:59 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have done a fantastic job in rasing your daughter and you deserve a pat on the back. As in your question you have mention she has 3 part time jobs and going to community college. I think that alone has taught her some responsibilty, as jobs have a lot of responsibilities. I think she will be able to make it. And i know you are worried and only want what is best but i think you have tought her well enough for her to use those skills. I know it will be hard for you to let her. Just be there to help her if she needs help and let her know you are there to help. I have just learnt that i have to let my children try things on there on, and i have to beleive that i have given her enough information and skill to be able to make the right choices.
Good Luck!!!!!!!!! Your great and that will show in your daughter.
2007-04-04 02:11:01 · answer #7 · answered by karhs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her move out she'll realize how hard it is to live on her own and most teens ALWAYS return home.just let her know she can come back if it gets to hard and that you'll support her. maybe this will help mer mature a little more.she has 3 jobs most teens can't even keep 1 and she's going to school, you should give her a little more credit for all that shes doing for someone with ADD
2007-04-04 05:03:54 · answer #8 · answered by lynn21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that she lives like a lodger - in your home. Let her buy and pay for her own food, do her own laundry and chores. Don't give her lifts anywhere - let her get the bus. Don't supply her with a telephone or internet access. I would just provide the roof over her head and the support for when she realises that actually she can't manage - but do NOT say "I told you so".
2007-04-04 02:06:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
let her go and find out what it is like then she will come back just make sure you let her know she always has a home with you and be very supportive cuz if you arent then even if she needs to come home she might not because you have told her time and time again she cant do it and she wants to prove you worng
2007-04-04 01:52:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋