My dad wants to disown me?

Question

I noe this indian-chinese guy for almost 7 years now.
We've been datin for 5 years.
But my dad, he hates other races except his own.

Years ago despite his repeated violent objections,
I carried on datin him on the sly.

My bf's the kind of guy who's ur best friend n lover.
Both of us share a wonderful r/s.

My dad now insists that Im lyin and being unfilial,
wen he found that I have been dating this guy AGAIN (my uncle saw us),
he scolded vulgarities (calling me a f*cking idiot) n threatened to disown me.

My dad forced my cousins (whom I recently had a huge fight with) to tell him all tt dey know abt me.
Now he found out that Im going to the same uni as him.

My dad wont let these kind of things go easily. He would probably transfer me to another uni, or even force me to migrate.

He blames my mum for my bad upbringing.
I loathe him for that.

Its been a few yrs since he knew abt us, but he refused to give in and accept him.
I dont know what to do.

I still live with my family.
Ive been financially dependant on my family. Im not rich enough to rent a place yet, and its the same for my bf.

My mum is okay with things, but my dad is driving me nuts.

Thanks Tan D.

My bf sincerely wants to change things with my dad, but my dad refused FLATLY to meet or accept him at all.

I cant even go out with him.
He calls that 'lying'

thanks qooimage, and sorry i didnt mention, im chinese. =)

from what i went through, i know i would definitely not mind the race of my future son/daughter-in-law.

race is not a matter, as long as my child is happy with his/her spouse. i am not the one marrying an american darkie, so its ultimately not up to me to decide.


when you spend 7 years with that someone special who treats you well, and IS sincere,
you would definitely do all it takes to hold on and cherish that someone, wouldnt you?

and it is not easy to find sincere guys online. i knew him since we were in secondary school. our relationship goes a long way back...

in my eyes, he's perfect. =)

Answer 1

All parents care for their children. Right from the start you should have work hand in hand with your boyfriend to convince your father that he can give you happiness regardless of race. You certainly don't want to lose either one of them, as both are as dear to you.
Thing may not be too late. Your boyfriend definitely have to do something to show his sincerity. If he is willing to do further to win over your father, then you have definitely make a right choice. But he refuse to do anything, probably your father is right to reject this relationship.

Answer 2

I have came across many issues like your case. I think you are a Muslim.

Usually Muslim family are quite sensitive to this. Chinese family quite alright. Now, you made us confused which race are you in! It is so hard to give you direction.

Your dad has his own reasons. Can't blame him. You as a daughter has never stand on his point.

Suppose you have a daughter and would like to get married with a super black-darkie African, do you like it?! I am sure you don't like too!


There are many reasons why your dad objected it! Is just that you have told us the truth yet. E.g. What is your bf's occupation, family members, monthly salaries, his character, whether is he a ex-convict.

I have see lots of silly girls married to men even with objection from family. In the end? DIVORCED! Family blessing in Asian culture is a must! Be it a Malay, Chinese, Indian, and etc, the newly couple wished to be blessed by family but not cursing and swearing.

So what if you have known this guys for 7 years! So what if you have been dating for 5 years! There are thousands of perfect men out there.

I think better to take you dad advice. Leave him!

I have friends who are lawyers, superindents, pilots, journalists, teachers, general manager, military officers! All are eligible bachelors. Lots of good guys you can choose from. Join Friendsters.com or hi5.com. to search for a new one!

Answer 3

Whose paying your tuition? Get a job or a student loan and stay where you are with your boyfriend. You can't let dad hold this over you.