i am getting married in june 2008 because that is a better time for both my fiancee and myself. my whole life my goals have been to get married and have children, but i am finding that although my fiancee has the same goals, he wants them later in life, while im ready NOW.
and then, alll the sudden, my brother gets married to a girl he knew 5 months prior to marriage. 10 months later, they decide to have a baby and now the baby is due in a week or so. i have been growing more and more jealous and my fiancee gets upset saying i should be happy for them and that he feels he isnt enough for me....i want him for the marriage and the babies. which is the FARTHEST thing from the truth......i love him with all my heart. thats why i am waiting...its just....i feel so unfulfilled. everyone i see has kids or is getting married. heck....they even get the car i want before i have a chance to go down and get it.
i dont know what to do. i want to be happy too.... but everything is so faaaar away
2007-04-03 21:45:52 · 12 answers · asked by audrey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's your motherly instinct which makes you feel the way you feel. You long to hold a baby in your arms and give her hugs and kisses.
Perhaps it would do good to play and take care of your brother's baby if they need any help after childbirth. By having contact with the baby, I am sure you would feel happy and not jealous anymore and you would realise that the problem is you like kids real much, and maybe feeling insecure that you would not have a chance to interact with kids.
Also, baby sitting a friend's child, niece or nephew is nice.
I would suggest that if you are in your late 30s, it would be worth a try to discuss with your fiancee about having children as women's biological clock calls for that. If you are younger, then it would be more difficult to rationalize with your fiancee as he has his mind set on the "later" time period.
If you are vocal, insist on having children - the feminist way :)
2007-04-03 21:55:24 · answer #1 · answered by sweet_sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes thing seems like they are perfect from the outside, but you really don't know what's going on inside. So your brother got married to someone he only knew 5 months. Think of your relationship as being stronger because you have known your fiancee longer. You will probably have a better wedding b/c you have more time to plan, too. I use to get jealous of this girl b/c she is getting marry to this guy and they have been going out for 3 years. While I am in this relationship that seems to be getting no where. Well, while I watch her get her wedding dress, I too wish I was getting marry. But come to find out that he was beating her so she left him. I would take my relationship over someone beating me any day. So see, just focus on what you do have instead. I know it's hard, but everyone have their own path.
2007-04-04 04:59:27 · answer #2 · answered by spork_212 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand you, but he's also right. There are more important things in life than being married and having 10 kids. Would that paper make you feel happy? He's there with you anyway. If you complain all day long of how much you want the two of you to wed as soon as possible, I bet your bf will dump you as he would feel stressed and not that important as a person to you, but as a baby maker. If you're ready NOW, nothing to do but wait as he's NOT. It's just a matter of 1 year, what's so long? And how old are you? I'm 26 and I'm not complaining anyone of not getting married and I don't even have someone to wed me in near future. But there are other beautiful things that compensate this in my life. Don't ask too much from life, cause you might get nothing in the end of it.
2007-04-04 04:58:06 · answer #3 · answered by DreamGirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everything has a time and place, everyone's life is different and come June 2008 you will be fulfilling one of your life's goal, you need to quit worrying about everyone else's life and how there life is happening.... just let things come as they do and enjoy it, dont be in such a rush for everything to happen because before you know it it will be here and gone...
2007-04-04 04:59:17 · answer #4 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a slightly unstable person. You need others to help you get your bearing. You have already decided to get married on June 2008. Prepare for that day, make it a happy
wedding day and plan well. You make it a point to bless your brother's family and prepare to be a fantastic aunt. They will
add to your happiness on your wedding day.
2007-04-04 04:59:30 · answer #5 · answered by wcsj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on one's financial condition. If he is earning good salary (or has his business), you can opt to parent the child early. Alternatively, you can avoid pregnancy for a year or two. To be frank, when I got married (during November 971), I was not financially well and that we had to take precaution. Our first child was born during March 1977.
Good luck and God bless.
2007-04-04 05:02:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you really love your fiancee, you won't worry about the timing. He's right, you should be happy for them and not jealous. Since when do we get everything we want, when we want it??? Just be happy!!!!
2007-04-04 05:08:39 · answer #7 · answered by ~Crystal~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You both have goals a mile apart. Sometimes love isn't enough. Don't be miserable in a marriage where you each want something different.
2007-04-04 04:49:46 · answer #8 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want baby you much,go to the supermarket and buy yourself a doll to play with first.
2007-04-04 04:50:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
stop looking at what everyone else has and look at what you have
only you can make you happy focus on your own life make your own happiness
2007-04-04 05:05:30 · answer #10 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋