It all began when i clled my saas for the delivery of my first baby(un aware of her motives) we are living in a foreign land. my husband used to leave for work and she used to harass me by abusing me very badly, compelling me to give her son divorce and also made attempts to beat me . As a result i ran away from home to road sides with my 11 days old baby and i returned only when my saas return was confirmed. All her grown up kids (including my husband) and her RELATIVES are favouring their mother and they all think me a bad woman bcos they don't know the truth..
on the other hand my saas is gathering GOLD Jewellaries from my hsband by making demands from time to time---thus we have no savings also.
now its my saas's youngest son 's marriage abd i don't want to go. Please tell me what to do ???
2007-04-03 21:29:44 · 12 answers · asked by saara 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Instead of taking up this issue with your mother-in-law, it sounds like your husband isn't making this any better. Actually worse.
Clearly the bond between him and his mother is stronger than your marriage bond with your husband. And while that might not always mean a marriage is doomed for failure, in your case they don't even seem close. He hasn't given you any reason to believe his mother is doing anything wrong, doesn't sound he fully supports you and already has the backing of other family members as well. Going or not going to a wedding sounds like the least of your problems. However if you feel like not going to this wedding will make your husband more attentive of your feelings, then I say don't go. Just be prepared for the reaction to that decision. Either way, it may give you a better understanding of how your husband really feels about this issue. And that may give you a clear understanding of your role in his life and whether or not, you want to continue being that.
2007-04-03 21:57:21 · answer #1 · answered by Willy Wonka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its really very sad. Anyway, have you ever tried to find out what may be the reason behind this nasty behaviour of your saas?when she misbehaved with you and harassed you then why didnt you tell your parents and relatives about this? unless you comeout and expose her motives how would others know what kind of woman is she? You tell the truth to everyone.
f you can start working, please start and become independent. If you can manage, go and attend the marriage, otherwise have a peaceful discussion with your husband and tell him why you dont want to go. Make him understand. See, revengeful actions lead to more furious and dirty reactions, so it would be better to make everyone understand that why you took this decision.
Its the fault of our society that parents sometimes forget that their married children have seperate identity and they need their own space to grow.Age old beliefs, customs and traditions sometimes make the life very difficult.
Handle the situation in a peaceful manner.anger, resentment,and hatered will lead you nowhere.
2007-04-03 22:15:50 · answer #2 · answered by manjira 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear friend,
Just ignore your saas for time being and let her know that you are not listening to her anymore. Donot complain anybody in your family and try hard to concentrate on your sweet baby and live for that. You should now motivate yourself just for the sake of your baby. he/she is now your the biggest strength and you have to be strong enough to face all these hostile situation. Actually your mother-in-law is sick and treat him as a mental patient. Do not think her as a competitor as she used to think so. Convince your husband that you people should now save at least something for the future of your baby and his/her well upcoming.
Don't give up. do not run off with your baby from home. It is now all yours.
Situation will be definitely under control.
I'll pray to god for that.
Do manage the trip with the same mentality.
Be happy at least try to do so.
2007-04-04 02:46:50 · answer #3 · answered by madhumita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have gone through your statement.
One thing i want to tell you that if you are true no one can dare to say anything. Just go to the marriage of your brother-in-law and enjoy ( you know what I want you to do ) , If you will not go all will talk about you and your mother-in-laws favour list will be added.
Do one thing go to the marriage and being a elder bahu of the family you will have to do many rituals isn't it. This is the time to show to the people how loyal you are in your in-law relationships.
If someone in the marriage will enquire from you who is right and who is wrong give them the positive response by saying my saasu ma is the best. It will be a slap on her face and your dignity will be maintained and you will receive more respect from you husbands relatives.
BEST OF LUCK GO TO THE MARRIAGE WITH FAMILY AND COME BACK WITH A NEWS WHICH WILL STRENGTHEN THE BONDS OF LOVE BETWEEN YOUR HUSBAND AND YOU. TRY TO WIN HIS HEART.
2007-04-03 21:42:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Forget all: For your comfortable living what is needed you try to get all:
Give time to think about all: do not stop or tell anything about his spending for his mother,brother etc:
As a wife try to get what you want for your self for family maintaining in a peaceful and normal way:
There is much more time in life to think and do all:
There should not be a problem because of money : you try to avoid money matters and dispute with him; let him spend in his own way:,your life will be happy
2007-04-04 03:06:25 · answer #5 · answered by ar.samy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife is 49. She is extra tricky and clever. She is mother in law of her damad.
All are selfish. I, my wife, my daughters, Saas, Bahu, Damad all are greedy.
2007-04-04 00:26:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beat the $h!t out of that old hag...who the hell is she to kick u on the streets out of ure own house and that with a 11 days old BABY ???
Tell ure sissy husband to take some actions or that isn't gonna work, perhaps he should still be stuck on his mama's nipple...and if u don't want to go then just simply don't !!!
If they don't have any respect for u, u should u do them favours...Just think on ure self and ure baby 1st !!!
Hope ure problem get resolved, if not just ditch them all, just take urer baby !!! Life is to short to live in a unhealthy and hateful environment and situation such as ures...All the best !
♦*♦ Beware 0f The Gypsy Curses ♦*♦
2007-04-03 21:46:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
you are in a sick situation. GET OUT!... make a plan, save money, and get strong and GET OUT! You dont need this as you have probably been told many times. Your husband if he had any respect for you, and you have told him this,... wouldnt have you there. When you married him... you married his family. That is the sad thing. As for your mother in law, get yourself in order and when your ready to walk out., tell her to get a stick shoved up her ***. As for your husband, tell him to find someone to put up with his mother! Good GOD! You already know this is wrong. GET OUT!
2007-04-03 22:41:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anna Q 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get your husband to attend a post marital counselling (search for Save Indian Family on google) along with you and get him to understand your issue / side of the story and get him convinced of how much you love and care for him and that you would make any sacrifice toward the benifit of him and your child!!
--- Your goal is attained!!!
2007-04-06 03:57:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is the bond between mothers and sons. They (mothers) are the ones that have taken care of them their entire lives and have a problem sharing their sons with another woman. Some mothers can adapt and accept the new daughter in law as her very own while other mothers are real MOTHERS! when it comes trying to make a relationship work. They but in and meddle and make life hard for both the son and his wife. Sorry, I could go on and on about this. But it all comes down to the bond they share.
2016-03-17 08:03:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋