My husband and i have been married for 20 months,no children.i don't feel like i love him anymore.he has said during fights that he regrets marrying me but later apologised.he rarely helps out around the house unless i fight him about it.we both work long hours.he suggested getting help but we haven't been able to find any.we spend less time together.i suggested counselling but he bluntly refused.i have started individual counselling,but i feel like it's a waste of time cause of his refusal to work with me.should we end things now we're still in our twenties?
2007-04-03 21:16:56 · 15 answers · asked by mallamO 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This crap is absurd. Why did you get married in the first place, so you could move out of your parents house? Your in your 20's act like it, why don't you make it work. You made a commitment, didn't you. "Till death do us part" does that phrase mean anything to you? He's lazy, so what, does he beat you? People should not get a divorce because they argue about house work, Grow up.
2007-04-03 21:38:04 · answer #1 · answered by Fab 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd get a cleaner - there are agencies that organise cleaners. Look it up. For a start. It might make the tensions disappear. When he apologises for his comments re marrying you, does he say why he does it? I wonder if this is his underlying thought and he just doesn't want to be blunt and covers it up by apologising. Can you talk to him, calmly. He might just do the man thing and cruise through your relationship and actually resent any indepth relationship work.
I'd do what I could to solve the problems. I wouldn't end the marriage yet, but I wouldn't plan on having children untill you're very sure you want to stay married. And I'd try to make time to go out, as a couple so that you can rebuild your relationship, too. Not just a movie - but say, a movie followed by dinner or something that gives you time to enjoy an outing and time to talk about that outing.
2007-04-03 21:39:21 · answer #2 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Work at it... give ourselves some space! just take some time out from each other...spend a day or 2 away!when you get back, feel the vibes between the 2 of you and if you are nagging about the housework..... STOP! men don't like that! just do what you can do and that's it... don't stress over it!
Ask him to go on a date with you...go watch a movie, have supper, book night at a hotel...do something to bring the spark back! you both are so involved with your own stuff, you'll are forgetting each other! so go out and be romantic and try to light up that flame again!
We women always expect the man to do something to restore the relationship... let us do it for a change!
Good Luck... May peace be with you
2007-04-03 21:51:14 · answer #3 · answered by Nes 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Life's greatest challenge and lesson is.... people are not importent.. Realtions are. Do not lose faith in your relation and its preservation. Try leaving everything and both of you.....go to some far off place for a few days and be with each other completely. Once you sense that you are back in normal senses.....try discoveing whats going wrong.... belive me.. you can be together....if U love each other
2007-04-03 21:56:41 · answer #4 · answered by cheenuray 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married for 20 months is no long, suggest you give yourself a bit more time, then decide but before you have any kids.
Good luck and all the best to you.
2007-04-03 21:33:47 · answer #5 · answered by Charlyn Lim 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you should try the counseling and see if he is willing to make the changes happen WITH you..marriage is hard work honey..I guess you never really know what its like until you're in it..it should be about love right?.. with lots of affection and care..but sometimes its technical and you just have to sit down with him and make the time when you two can spend some time together..good luck..and when all else fails dont waste your time you are far better to be wasted on a person who doesnt want to make it work with you...=>
2007-04-03 21:27:42 · answer #6 · answered by gela 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
20 months is a while to be together, But if you and him can't work things out for the better it probably is best to nip it in the bud. I know how that is when you feel like your trying your best to understand things but the other isn't, It's like talking to the wall. And yeah, it is miserable. Its like oil and water, they just don't mix. It's really up to you.
2007-04-03 22:50:15 · answer #7 · answered by BZCranium 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
20 months of marriage is too short for you to know, understand and amicably live with each other.. Give yourself time. Go through this fighting phase. Things may get better.
2007-04-03 21:20:53 · answer #8 · answered by AdultMALE 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
To end a relationship is easy way to escape from problem but u have to solve the problem. So u shoulod talk with yr hubbby & try to figure out the problem give one more chance to your relationship. before ending think thrice cause its easy to break but hard to build!!!
2007-04-03 21:26:24 · answer #9 · answered by md c 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he refuses to get counseling, he apparently is self-centered and thinks he does no wrong. Bail out and find somebody that really cares about you.
2007-04-03 21:36:27 · answer #10 · answered by supertop 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋