attractive i dont get it ive been this way since childhood trauma and i now even think im facialy disfigured some how how can i be attractive when others have called me ugly im tackling many issues at the moment ie abuse of all sorts can you give me any advice if some say im nice looking then why have some called me ugly i dont get it and i dont know who to believe any more i also hate what i see in the mirror
2007-04-03 20:48:10 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You don't have to walk your life alone. If you are suffering abuse go and get proffessional help.
As to people's depths of depravity, what can I say that can make the hurt go away?
It is easy for people to tell you that the outside doesn't matter;that it is what is on the inside and deep down that is ture. BUT ... you have to learn to like you.
Don't be taken in by media representations of what is hot and what is not.
I look back at 60's fashions and fashion idols (my youth)and I cringe at what my kids would say about them.
First you have to find yourself a kind mirror. One that reflects the real you. I have one in my home . The other mirrors I barely look at.
My kind mirror even makes me look thinner than I really am!! Wow is it ever my friend!!!
Spend time with that mirror. Find the things that people can see in you that are truly beautiful.
Look at your eyes. Do you see the thoughtfulness and the kindness radiating out of them?
Hey girl, that is the real you!!!
Look with wonder at each component part of your face. Think of the miracle that gave you life. Isn't it amazing?
Ugly my foot. You are so special and so brave.
You asked for help on answers didn't you? That takes guts!
But listen I am serious, you don't have to take this journey on your own. Ask for help amongst the proffessionals. Draw pictures of all the people who have been ugly to you. Stamp on them. Put them in a box and bury them. That is what they deserve and go and get some help.
We all love you, now go for it.
2007-04-03 21:06:50 · answer #1 · answered by Christine H 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey! Stop worrying about what OTHERS are saying! Do what your want to do in terms of looks. Be your own person, not what someone else thinks you should be.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe those that have called you "ugly," haven't looked close enough. Just ignore them. They are wasting your time by preoccupying your thoughts about this issue.
Be yourself! Never forget you are a worthwhile person, part of the web of life. Without you, part of the web would be broken. You influence more people than you think!
Some day those that have called you "ugly," will come to regret having done so. Hold your head up high and remember you are just as good as everyone else!
2007-04-03 20:57:50 · answer #2 · answered by ThisIsIt! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't beat yourself up over this at all hun. Everyone has their own opinion. You might fancy someone and think they are really attractive, whereas your mate may think they are ugly. I know it is an old cliche but beauty comes from within and is in the eye of the beholder. Just go with the flow, think that you are what you are and enjoy. If someone thinks you're ugly, it is their problem not yours. Unfortunately there are alot of shallow people out there that do judge on looks, it isn't worth getting upset about. Learn to love yourself for who you are. Take care and good luck :-)
2007-04-03 20:54:33 · answer #3 · answered by sunflora 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer to your question is simple. Everyone is different!! What some people find stunningly beautiful, others will find ugly and vice versa. Its what makes the world an interesting place! Everyone has different tastes and opinions. Its a well knows fact that unfortunately, negative comments stay in our minds longer than positive ones but try to ignore the negatives and focus on the compliments. If people call you ugly then they are ugly inside.
2007-04-03 21:10:47 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Others peoples perception of you, whether it be about your looks or pesonality does not equal the reality of you. Why do you need to be validated by someone elses opinion? You have been through many, many struggles and yet you are still here, you have shown strength and survived. We all have beautiful aspects to our personalities and that is what we should cherish and seek to improve. Do you judge people simply on their looks alone, or do you love people for what is in their hearts? Who really looks like the air brushed super models we see gazing out at us from magazines - not even they look like that in the flesh. I was a victim of abuse and suffered for years with Anorexia and Bulimia - feeling so ashamed of my body. I wasted so much of my life and my energy with such a destructive self obsession. It's not easy by any means but at some point you just have to accept you are perfectly imperfect and that what makes you unique, special, and wonderful. Life is to short to punish and judge yourself. Try writing a gratitude list of everything you value and respect in your life. I'm grateful that I can see, hear, laugh, walk, that I have friends who love me for being imperfect and so much more I'd be here for hours typing. It sounds like a very confusing lonely place to be right now. Treat yourself with some dignity, you do deserve it. Read the Desiderata Poem by Max Ehrmann online at http://www.businessballs.com/desideratapoem.htm
I find it humbling and inspirational - and remember "You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here"
Take care, and please learn to love yourself.
2007-04-04 03:51:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most crippling thing anyone can do is base their self worth and self-esteem on others' opinions. People change with every breeze, but you can always love and look after yourself.
Good luck
2007-04-03 21:11:05 · answer #6 · answered by Croa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people (the lucky ones) can see inner beauty better than others.
The ones that can't see it are the selfish ones.
I don't know anyone that doesn't have a beautiful smile, when it is sincere.
2007-04-03 21:21:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real question is, are you happy with the way you look?
If the answer is yes, I see no problem!
Don't worry to much about what other people think, just as long you're happy.
2007-04-03 21:01:02 · answer #8 · answered by Firefox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder !!
2007-04-03 20:50:55 · answer #9 · answered by nicemanvery 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mostly people like aiswarya but i dont like and many other i hopw that dont like aishwaray i mean that it doesnt mean that if we dont like someone it means that she is ugly.
my sincer advise to you that be positve and only concentrate of those comment who says you nice and ignore them who say you ugly its the simmple solution.
2007-04-03 21:22:36 · answer #10 · answered by Akmal Zaidi 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋