my wife doesn't like my earring?

Question

Last year, I quit my job in the corporate world & went into business with a friend.
My wife was totally cool with this decision, she knew I was unhappy & needed a change. She was very supportive & thought it was right thing to do.
I was really enjoying not being in corporate world & being my own boss.
Then a few weeks ago, I decided on the spur of the moment that it would be cool to pierce my left ear. I went out to the mall & got it done. Then, I walked by a shoe store & threw away my New Balance shoes & got a cool pair of vans slip-ons.
I made the mistake of not telling her about it at first. The new look is causing a lot of friction between us, Am I being selfish or is she being too rigid?? Any thoughts???

Answer 1

OK A mid-life crisis (which is basically what all this re-living of the youth "I want to be cool" is about) is a married womans worst nightmare because right after the sports car or crotch-rocket motorcycle is the 20 year old blonde bimbo named Bambi... You are becoming someone your wife doesnt recognise and because you are leaving her in the dark she has no clue why you feel the need to do these things and it is scaring the crap out of her. Sit down Open your mouth and talk, then shut your mouth open your ears and LISTEN not only to the owrds but to the emotion behind them. You can get through this if you try to work it out and you become an adult again... Good luck.

Answer 2

You are not being selfish at all. You just wanted to change and you did a really big turn around! She is probably upset because you didn't inform her with what you wanted to do, anotherwards, you didn't ask for her opinion first. She is just not use of seeing you like that. The earring part I don't understand, you could have gotten yourself a new ring instead. It doesn't matter, you are happy with it.

You just need to give her some time to get used of the change in you. Tell her there is nothing to worry about and that you still love her the same. I don't think you get bent out of shape when she gets her hair nails done eh?

When making decisions, especially when married, it is better to talk with your wife first so she can be a part of your decision making. Remember, she is your wife and you both are now considered to be as 'one' not 'two' anymore. She is a part of your life too! (smile)

Answer 3

Sometimes, people need changes just so they do not have to think about the world or corp world they once were in, but a change to do for themself and be someone they want to be or have always wanted to be and do what makes them feel good , what you have done is not wrong and your wife should be understanding ..so when your wife decides that she wants a change and go get some kind of thing done like a boob job or some big change for herself, they you also should not be in any kind of shock, actually I think its way cool what you did, I did something like that once that blew people away, I had virgin skin and one day ( after picking up a child on a call ...Corner job) I had a Tat done on my back, huge one first one ever and it was a change and blew people away but I did it because I wanted to forget about things and so did something different... your NOT being selfish at all and she is not ridgid she just may be scared your next move may be someone new..just let her know you love her and you are still you.

Answer 4

I think it depends on how old you are. If you're in your mid 40s or older, that behavior screams "MID LIFE CRISIS" and that you desperately want to re-live your younger years. Well, that train has left the station and by looking that way, while it's your prerogitive, makes you look foolish, emotionally immature and unstable. Unless you've gone into business catering to men in their 40s and above that are also going through mid life crisis, I think most people are not going to take you seriously as a business man.

You can have your own business, be a free spirit and do your own thing but at the same time, you don't have to look like some desperate wanna be that is frantically trying to regain his lost youth. Me personally, if I saw someone like that, I would see them as kind of pathetic, and a man who is lost emotionally. As a businessman, I don't think I'd do business with him because looks do matter and that look screams "unreliable", "unstable", "shifty", "immature".

I'm sure that rubbed you the wrong way but that was not my intent, just being brutally honest here. I think your wife is right. It's time to grow up and be a responsible, mature man. You're not 19 anymore. Get over it.

Answer 5

She might be letting you know that the new addition does not look cool on you. We may go around life coming across some people that have thees thing and look great, but not everybody looks good in them. I'm sure you have also seen this. Listen to your wife. If she has understood you and has stuck with your decisions, she knows you will do things right. How ever hope you understand that If she thought you will do right, she will also know that you'll do wrong. Hope this helps, Will. PS. I don't think that she is trying to steer you wrong.

Answer 6

When the two of you got married you were compatible, but you are becoming a different man and she's in love with the guy she married. You are becoming a stranger your wife neither knows nor understands and you're moving too quickly for her to catch up with you. There's nothing wrong with change but you need to keep her a part of it since you are partners in a committed relationship. Both of you need to work on this issue and try to understand the other person's point of view - it's called compromise.

Answer 7

What are you trying to prove? Are you trying to be a teenager again? Do you want to look like you are in a hippie movement? Is your next step painting flowers all over your vehicle and spraying the word LOVE on the sides of it? Are you getting in with a group that does drugs regularly? I think this is what your wife is thinking. I don't think she is quite ready to wake up married to Joe Cool Colombian Gold Cucumber.

Answer 8

Job change ok...character change is a bit more drastic and she is your better half , so she should at least have been informed enough prior to this change to have been able to understand it once you did it..to much to fast...I think its a good thing myself but when your partner reacts the way she does she needs some kind of reassurance these changes include her happiness too...do something for her now that would make her feel good about herself.

Answer 9

You probably just don't fit her template of what a normal heterosexual man should look like.

I must confess that if I see a guy with an earring and penny loafers I might think he were gay.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, but how would you like her to get a big tattoo on her thigh that said "Second Marine Division" ?

Answer 10

Does your wife read cosmo or ivillage.com? A lot of women's magazines like Cosmo tell women that a change in your man's behavior (like acting young) can mean he is cheating on you and wants to impress whoever he is dating.

Maybe you need to reassure her. There is obviously something deeper than just an earring.