both cheated and have decided to try one last time to make it work?

Question

we have been married for five years and have been together for about 11. we had some differences in the past which caused both of us to go astray. now that thing s have calmed down a little bit we decided to give it one last try. it's been 6 months now and we both have been 100 % faithful but now I am having second thoughts about staying in this relationship. i dont want to seek the attention of anybody else but I am still unhappy. even though i can forgive what she done I don't think I want to continue to pursue this marriage. I know I still love her but I want to be by myself. We have three children and I plan on taking care of them one way or another. what do you guys think I should do?

Answer 1

i think you should go to counseling..and try that for a while it may help you work thru your unhappiness and stay in the relationship or it may show you..its not going to work from what you write it sounds as though you know you dont want what you have right now,but you may still love her? there are kids involved..counseling will go along way to ensure they get what they deserve whether you stay together as a couple or not. kids need lots of extra thought when it comes to a breakup..because even though you dont work as a couple you should work as a set of parents for the well being of your children

Answer 2

You just answered your own question!!!! You know what you should do. Being in a marriage that feels like a trap is going to make you have another affair. Leave the relationship on good terms (while you can before it gets ugly) take care of your children and find some one that will make you happy or be by yourself for awhile and do some soul searching. You do you Good luck

Answer 3

If its changing the father, not husband at this point, but the father figure you should be because your so unhappy, then leave...but if you still can be the father you always wanted to be and live with your spouse I'd suggest that for the kids sake and I beleive your relationship will become closer eventually.

Answer 4

Give it more time. It sounds like you guys need to fall in love again. My marriage got alot better once I realized I could lose him so I devouted all of my time and energy to spending alot of time and connecting again..... sometimes that's what it takes. If that hasn't changed your feelings then you need to find a way that will work for you. Good luck. Try try try until you can't take it anymore. Too many marriages are ending in divorce.

Answer 5

I agree with Amber. Marriage counseling may help you to regain that love. At least try it for the children's sake. It is so sad for children to be caught up in a divorce. (all the running back and forth from one parent to another can be really hard)

Answer 6

If you do not love her any more communicate your feelings with her. Be honest with her you have spent a lot of time together. Do not think it will be better with someone is because u are going to get another problem--deal with this one. Marriage counelor. www.drphil.com (Is your marriage worth saying not just for the children for love.

Answer 7

Leave, or it sounds like you are going to cheat again. Seriously, get out of the relationship and support your kids as much as possible. I'm sure it will be extremely difficult, but if you've both cheated, and you're unhappy, there is no reason to stay.

Answer 8

She's cheated, you've cheated...sorry for the children it has to end this way...but it's kind of hard to trust one another again. I mean it's 5 years of marriage to throw away...but it'll be best for both of you to end now then later...because it could get worst...sorry but need to move on...

Answer 9

if you're not happy, leave. just make sure you let her know that it's really not her fault and don't let her talk you into staying - be firm in your decision.

Answer 10

sounds like you got bored and want some freedom