What do I do about bullies?

Question

I have several people bullying me, so I pray for them and ask God to give them the wisdom and maturity to stop, but it keeps happening and I'm not sure what to do next. I don't want to have a big confrontation, but I also don't want to keep being bullied, and I can't just avoid most of these people. What should I do?

Answer 1

Know what kind of bully you're dealing with.

Aggressive bullies (usually boys) are likely to abuse physically and without hesitation.
Taunting bullies are verbally abusive (calling names, making jokes, teasing, etc.).

Work your way around the bullies. Try and avoid them in school and social situations.

Show as little reaction as possible. Do not show the bullies that you feel hurt if they do something to make you uncomfortable.

Oftentimes, and especially when they are in groups, they want to see that they can elicit a reaction from you--preferably discomfort, pain, embarrassment, and even anger--so that they can feel powerful and dominant. Pretend that you are completely unaffected by them. Eventually they will get bored.

Make jokes at your own expense to prove that there is nothing they can do to hurt your feelings. If they call you a name (e.g. "Four-eyes!"), laugh, shrug it off, and start telling a story about how your cousin with coke-bottle glasses got contacts. Make it up if you want to--the contact lens fell off of her finger and into her mouth and she accidentally swallowed it, but was too embarrassed to tell her parents, so for the rest of the year she looked at the chalkboard with one eye closed and you bought her an eye patch for her birthday as a gag gift. Telling a funny story changes the tone from aggression to humor and draws attention away from you.

Make friends with the bully. Out of the blue you could ask them quietly if they are okay, saying you think they look sad. Sometimes, this will be enough to make them think about why they are acting the way they are. They say bullies are cowards as they usually pick on weaker people, but sometimes they are going through violence of their own at home. If they could confide in you, their behaviour could change completely.

Make friends with as many of their companions as you can. Try to find out if you have done anything wrong. Is it your fault or hers? Is there any real reason?

Try to become popular yourself. Appearing as if you are confident will help. That will make the bullies feel they are on the outside instead of you. You could even invite a bully to a party. Confusion is a powerful tool.

Learn how to defend yourself. It is always better to use the bully's strength against them, rather than to attack. The defense courses will teach you to do this. There are many martial arts to choose from--pick yours and learn.



hope these helped!
good luck :)

Answer 2

Louie, millions of kids have been bullied for many years--the bully is a person who has deep seated psycological disturbances --acting them out and dominating people is a release. They are immature, insecure types who almost seem to have a bump in the brain that causes them to act with anti-social behavior. Ignoring them is one BIG way--to handle them--avoiding them is another. Where do these bullies bother you--at school--at the park?? It is a free world where you should be able to go whereever you choose--but a bully can ruin that idea---discretion is the better part of valor---I mean make the choice to avoid them, stay away from them--that is the winning way to stop it from happening to you---but then it will just go on and on with others kids. Does the school help if you mention it?? They should--it is the law about bullies.They probably are just as scared as you or anyone else. Being prepared is another thing---if you have a bad situation come up--be prepared to defend yourself--FIRST--learn one or two good defensive moves--designed to give you run away chances. No matter how many of them there are--you can damage one or two---simply go for the eyes--with your fingers--no weapons other that your fingers--jab the eyes or push quick and hard to the nose --blinded or even blurred the guy won't be able to do much. Don't be creeped out--just do it--poke the eye THREE STOOGES style. Punch at the adams apple also--that usually swells the throat to the point where he has trouble breathing---turn and run--keep running---yell FIRE--not help--no one reacts to yelling help--yell FIRE.... Of course the bully baby will probably complain--but you didn't do anything--no weapon---you don't know anything about it. Good luck and practice being alert and prepared--don't walk around like a dope---keep alert and keep your arms and hands up, ready for use.

Answer 3

Well the only solution is the solution of the heart because if you can't have the heart to stand to them, then they won't leave you alone. They will bother you until you say enough is enough and if they can't take, then you should take to an authority figure such as the friends or a counselor that you can rely on and trust. There is a God and the is a way. So keep praying also God can give you strenght to face those bullies that you are having problems with.

Answer 4

Your best bet is to get involved with martial arts. Sounds like a typical answer, I know, but trust me, it builds your self-confidence. You'll feel better about yourself, develop healthy exercise and dietary habits and maybe one day, give back what you've been taking. I'm not advocating violence (and no reasonable martial artist does) but learning how to avoid situations with people like this is half the battle.

If you take a class in martial arts, you'll quickly discover that many of the techniques - even the introductory ones - are designed to cripple or kill another person. Once you learn these techniques, your next problem is knowing exactly when enough is enough! Afterall, even when you act in self-defense, you are still bound by the law and you may have to justify every action you take. A responsible teacher will keep this uppermost in your mind and teach you self restraint. But a judge and jury may want to know why you didn't just walk away.

Weird but true - when I went to my high school reunion, some of the people who harrased me when I was younger greeted me as a long lost friend. Not only that, but some even told me that they admired and respected me, even back then, but never had the guts to tell me.

I STILL wish I had kicked their asses in high school, but all's well that ends well, I guess.

Answer 5

Every Bully I have ever met was a coward and when you confront them they backed down. If you are afraid, then get help from someone in authority. That is one choice. Like a policeman.
The other choice is have a big friend confront them.
This is a tough lesson in life to be brave. This is one of yours.
I do think prayer works. I admire your faith. Keep asking for help from God and he will help you. Running away will not solve it. It will return in the future until you learn to stand up for yourself. You have a right to defend yourself. Do it wisely!
Another thought. Jesus said if someone wants to take you coat, give them your shirt too. See the movie " Peaceful Warrior"
Rev. TomCat

Answer 6

it occurs lots out of each 5 pupil there's a million who's getting bullied in united statesa.that's a terrible concern and individuals who do it are defined as vulnerable because of fact they bully to construct a reliable charcter or to experience extra desirable which does no longer even make experience human beings are aiming to place an offical regulation to bullying it took place in few international locations yet now at the instant lots of the international locations international don't have an valid rule against bullying it has many victims that died because of fact of it which makes it much extra terrible they died by suicide or bully assaults and bullying motives deprission and suicidal techniques and self injury (which could lead on directly to demise in case you accedently hit a nerve) that's what i actually be attentive to

Answer 7

obviously you believe in God. Which I'm glad that you pray for them and yourselfa nd the overall situation and that is what you should keep doing and don't give up. You just need to go up to them and sternly say stop. I really don't apreciate you being mean can you please stop? Most likely they probably will end up confused that you said something and they will change there attitudes towards you. And don't worry I'll pray for you and those kids.

Roxygurl

Answer 8

Jerks happen.

As long as they don't physically assault you it is a problem that you can deal with mentally. You don't have to react to them. The less you do in reaction the less interest they will have in picking on you.

If they physically assault you that is another matter. You could, depending on the situation, file charges on them. If it is happening at school see a teacher you trust or a counselor.

Answer 9

Restraining order. If they don't understand that they are doing wrong, a personal note delivered by a sheriff will straighten them out. If they do understand, the sheriff will make sure they comply.
Bullying is assault. Since they are breaking the law, you need a legal solution.

Answer 10

When I was a young girl, a boy kept pushing me around whenever he got the chance. I was so afraid of him. One day I just couldn't take it anymore, so I just pushed him down and then sat on him while I pinned his arms down. I don't know how I got the courage, but I just did it. I was so scared to let him up, so I just sat on him for over an hour, until I realized that he couldn't push me off of him. I was surprised he was so weak. Needless to say, that was the last day he bothered me.