I have a friend whose husband is controlling and abussive. I'm not gonna get into details about the kind of abuse but, I can tell you it is not physical. He won't let her talk to me or do anything without checking with him first, but yet he can talk to my husband and do whatever he wants. I am really worried about her and am trying to convey that to her. Is there any information I can give her to help her with her decision as to what to do? We have been friends for 10 years and they have been married 5 of those 10 years. I know her like the back of my hand and the way she is acting right now, is not her at all. Please help.
2007-04-03 15:04:59 · 5 answers · asked by littlemama9130 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
They also have 3 kids together. That makes this problem even bigger.
2007-04-03 15:18:50 · update #1
First of all does your friend want out of this situation, cause no matter how much you tell her it's bad if she doesn't want to change it there is nothing you can do. Now moving on to her, in the case that she does want help, there are women's shelters in most cities, and police departments, sheriff's offices, etc can get her in contact with one in her area. They have people there at all times that can talk to her, and they will help her and the kids. They will usually put you up at their shelter until you can find a place to stay and if she makes that move they will require her not to make contact with anyone who will advise the husband of her location.
It's a difficult situation for her, as well as you seeing this happen to her. Let her know that you are there to support her in whatever decision she makes. Mental abuse is no different than physical abuse.
2007-04-03 18:34:08 · answer #1 · answered by littlemagicone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just had a class at work (im in the Army) about spousal abuse today and no matter what kind of abuse it is, its not okay at all. I heard some terrible stories about things that happened to women that didnt have to ! All she has to do is leave. I know easier said than done but she needs to. I learned that abusers get worse when they feel like they are losing control over the spouse, so dont let him know you are telling her to leave, it might cause him ot hurt her. I think you shoud get her to get a police escort out of the house and then a restraining order, she needs to have her friends and famliy's support too, so she has a place to go to, and not be left alone. This is a critical time for her to get out before its too late so do everything you can for her but without him knowing about it. Is there a time she can sneak out without anyone but you knowing shes gonna do it? Make sure she has the police notified of whats going on when she leaves incase he finds out and tries to hurt her. The police can give you more information too. Good luck, and get her safe!
2007-04-03 22:16:45 · answer #2 · answered by ~Kimberly~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
2007-04-04 12:26:17 · answer #3 · answered by photog50 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is being controlled by husband. It is great that she has you as her friend, but if he isn't letting her talk to you, then he is thinking that you are trying to help her. Do stand by her. I think she needs to discuss her situation with her family if at all possible. She is obviously scared of him, but things usually get worse. Just keep telling her that she doesn't deserve to be treated this way and you feel she needs to make an effort to get him to go with her to marriage counseling. Good luck.
2007-04-03 22:14:42 · answer #4 · answered by Jan C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with a therapist, or have her talk to one.
2007-04-03 22:15:02 · answer #5 · answered by detroitsommer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋