in addition to my poem before you judge me?

Question

the details he kept that from me over 4and a half years and flat lied about it on more than one occassion.he was never the best lover but when things took a turn and he couldnt perform i went to the doctors and was loving patient and sympathetic,i suggested we watch some porn you know to spice things up he acted like he could never do that like it was awful.it wasnt a random act thats what was so hard and not just porn. he was going to dating sites and pretending to be single the whole time but was unable to have sex with his wife and i tried everthing .i wrote the poem because i wanted him to know how belittling it was to me and the other women as well.to me it was as though he had cheated.i was in the best shape of my life at that time i had my pick of men and i chose him there was no reason for him to even look anywhere else i was the best he ever had i made it a point to be. i want people to know if you lie to your partner the truth will be found out and trust is hard to get back.

in addition i found all this out 2 years after i was fired from my job over a rude comment he made about someone else at work and he sat back and watched me get fired for what he did!i said nothing because he was my husband i protected him and it cost me so dont say i havent loved my husband there is not another woman on this planet that has loved him more or done more for him.i think i have the right to expect honesty and faithfulness from a man who would have still been living with his parents and had nothing if it werent for me.you really dont know i have been a very good wife and i never denied him anything sexually what he did was wrong for so many reasons but secrets and lies are the worst i think.

Answer 1

How true your statement is about secret and lies, they are the worst a husband or wife can do. If we are married there should be no secrets nor any lies. Of course this happens everyday and it causes so many heartaches. If we love someone we don't hurt them. Your problem seems to stem from lack of trust with him, how do you plan on moving ahead with him since all of this? I know what it feels like to have someone you love to hold back and not be totally honest with you. Your right also about when they go on websites and lie about being single, it make me feel less of a woman wondering why or what was wrong with me, but later I found it wasn't me it was him. He couldn't perform, so this was his way of stroking his ego with writing and talking with other women. Men can be complicated and unsure of theirselve and they like to play these games.