Okay i am 27 yrs old and my hubby is 35 we have been married 6 yrs not so happily he cheated and i cheated to get back at him (but he does not know that).While in therapy with my hubby found out i was pregnant(twins) after the affair.I never questioned paternity before but my daughters features and my sons have me questioning not sure if its guilt or not.My hubby and i have been seperated 1.5 yrs not spoken in 4 months.I am terrified of what my hubby could do to me in court because i think he suspects i had an affair at some point?Am i just overreacting and going crazy?
2007-04-03 14:00:30 · 19 answers · asked by Carrie L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think i will get a paternity test for piece of mind.Why is this driving me mad when i see my kids i see the man i had an affair with?
2007-04-03 14:03:21 · update #1
Son and daughter are 3.5 yrs old.
2007-04-03 14:06:22 · update #2
Well, there is no easy answer here. You can deal with the situation now or later but if you are hoping to have a relationship with him at all, you are going to have to tell him the truth and let the chips fall where they may. Also, for the sake of the twins, I hope that you find out who their father is. As far as in court, what can he do really? I mean you both had affairs and so thats a wash. I am sorry for the situation you are in. In the future (not that I am judging you...I am not) having an affair to get back at someone never works. Not only do you have guilt, but you will never get the desired effect.
2007-04-03 14:07:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
get the DNA test to ease your worries, you could be seeing the man you had an affair with cause you are feeling guilty. if he suspects you had an affair what can he say he had one as well, if it comes to court and questioning a DNA tell will be issued and paternity established. he can't knock you for something he did as well, you may be feeling guilty cause you actually felt bad about what you did but the guilt probably never even crossed his mind. relax the truth will come out, if your hubby don't ask for DNA test maybe you should just so you can live with the truth instead of just wondering
2007-04-03 21:43:05 · answer #2 · answered by Sparky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's done in the dark will come to light. My mother used to always say that. I think you are truly sorry for the affair and the way to make it right is by having the dna test to know for sure. If you feel your hubby could use this to his advantage and end up harming you in court. Maybe you should wait to let him know until after the divorce.
Another option that can give you an idea of who the father might be is by knowing the blood type of yourself, children, and your soon to be ex-husband. Blood types can also determine paternity but are not as fool proof as dna testing.
http://www.genetree.com/resource/aboBloodTypeCalculator.php
2007-04-03 21:29:23 · answer #3 · answered by LuvMyGirls 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You see the man you had an affair with because you've been hiding it. I suggest go get a paternity test, just to make sure, then you won't have to worry about anything. I don't know what to tell you about telling him about the affair or not, your situation is tough. If you want things to go smoothly, I say, don't tell him, but, if its eating away at you and you want it off your chest, let him know. It really depends on what your situation is and whats best for the future... Good luck though!
2007-04-03 21:05:56 · answer #4 · answered by Ramon's Wifey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm no divorce lawyer, but it seems to me that a paternity test would get him off the hook.
The big thing here is to learn from your mistake. And YES, you did something wrong. Just because someone else behaves in a degenerate manner doesn't make it right for you to do so.
I'm sure you adore your children, and that's what really matters.
I hope you'll make a different choice in the unfortunate event that that should happen again.
2007-04-03 21:06:27 · answer #5 · answered by aquaman2964 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Check with your child support guidelines, even if he lived with you and treated them as his own that would be consider his twins. Laws protect the famiy meaning children on a separation, paternity or no parternity. This guy you were married to is obligated to pay since he has acknowledge them as his own.
Nah leave it and just let him pay for his mistakes of cheating, that is what you get when you drive a faithfull women to cheating. I would let the cheater pay. You sound honest.
2007-04-03 22:34:59 · answer #6 · answered by Emily L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What your reacting to is the consequence of your actions basically you had sex with someone other then your husband without protection that not only was careless but stupid. When you get the paternity test done and if it show's he's not the father when you get to court he will take you to the cleaners. I wonder was it worth it? It's a little late now to be terrified.
2007-04-03 21:19:20 · answer #7 · answered by miester44 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey when you do grown women things you need to own up to the mistakes that you make.You are human and you are entitled to a mistake so don't be so hard on yourself.Just go and get the paternity test so you can ease your mind and then just go on with your life.Remember this you are not the only woman that this happens to you are just smart enough to be honest with yourself and the people on this sight.
2007-04-03 21:12:56 · answer #8 · answered by hendersonswoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't help here. Do the kids look like you? He may have some ground here. Talk to your lawyer and maybe get a paternity test to put your mind as ease.
2007-04-03 21:04:13 · answer #9 · answered by greenfrogs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET A PATERNITY TEST YOUR NOT CRAZY YOU LOVE YOUR KIDS I'M SURE SO WHAT DOES IT MATTER IF THERE NOT HIS AND THE MAN YOU HAD AN AFFAIR WITH ISN'T AROUND THEN YOU'LL HAVE THEM TO YOURSELF BUT YOU STILL HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO THEM TO FIND OUT AND NOTIFY WHOEVER IS THE FATHER BUT LOOK AT IT LIKE THIS IS NOT YOUR EX THEN YOU HAVE NO REASON TO SPEAK TO HIM AGAIN
2007-04-03 21:10:30 · answer #10 · answered by littledovesw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋