It's not like I'm a kid anymore. I'm 28 with three kids of my own. My dad called and told me he was coming over in the morning. I told him I had a lot of things to do and would most likely be gone. He told me that he was coming over and expected me to be home. Why won't he listen to me?
2007-04-03 13:12:20 · 22 answers · asked by pixie 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Some tips:
1. Get caller ID. Don't always answer when he calls.
2. If he leaves a message, do not return his call for 2 days. If he lays a guilt trip on you, say you have to go.
3. He *will* eventually get the point. (Is he single? I betcha he's single!)
4. Make sure you are gone, if you can be, and then be gone when he comes over. If he lays a guilt trip on you, say you have to go.
5. He *will* eventually get the point.
6. You do not have an equal relationship. He is the parent, you are the child. He gives you loving support, unconditional love, then releases you into the world. He can still give you money without you having to be there all the time. Okay? I promise this is NORMAL. :)
Hang in there, but be tough. Don't always be available. You are not his wife, you are not his girlfriend, you are his *daughter*.
Seriously, is he divorced? My best girlfriend's dad is divorced, and most divorced dads I know go through this phase. You have to re-train 'em, but then they are okay once they realize you love them but are not, you know, available 24/7.
What's your catch phrase? What's your motto? I HAVE A LIFE! :)
2007-04-03 13:19:36 · answer #1 · answered by Amsterdam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At first read, it seems that he does not think of you as a woman/mother but as his daughter only (and therefore, under his rules).
I'd confront him about this in a non-threating way. Ask him why he ignores your request. Tell him how it makes you feel (using, "Dad, when you ignore my requests, it makes me feel that you don't see me as my own person, and it makes me angry").
Then listen to his response. My bet is he didn't have any idea you felt that way (probably because he's gotten away with it before), or he will launch into how he thinks you behave - either way. You need to make some rules. "Dad, from now on, I will not let you into the house when I have asked you not to come over".
It;ll be tough. I'm sure.
2007-04-03 13:19:56 · answer #2 · answered by katydid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I listen to my kids all the time, I think you are just going to have to put your foot down with your Dad, next time he says that to you , don't be home and he will hopefully get the message.
2007-04-03 13:16:34 · answer #3 · answered by Urchin 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Apparently it's important enough that he expects you to cancel your day over it. Hopefully it will be a nice surprise. If it isn't and he just wants attention, take him with you on your errands so that he can see how busy you are, and that you mean it when you say you have things to do. Good luck.
2007-04-03 13:19:06 · answer #4 · answered by Lesley M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have that problem. I haven't spoken to my folks in over ten years. At least your kids have a grandfather that wants to be around them and you.
Leave a note on the door and do what you have to do.
2007-04-03 13:22:25 · answer #5 · answered by Dr. E. Bunny A.K.A. Andy. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they never Liston, I'm 41, I'm thinking about getting a motorcycle, every time I mention it, it like the first time they heard it and I get the same damn lecture I got back when I was 16 talking about bikes. only different now is I can afford to buy one.
2007-04-03 13:35:20 · answer #6 · answered by denny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! If my father said that to me I would be in complete shock. Maybe if you weren't there he would listen next time. However if this is uncommon behavior for him then maybe you should ask him what is so important.
2007-04-03 13:17:59 · answer #7 · answered by cane_holder 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because they still think of you as a kid don't go home when he's coming over I wouldn't
2007-04-03 13:25:22 · answer #8 · answered by the bumy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well they still see you as their baby---do not be there--and learn from this to always listen to your children....I do understand what you are saying my Mom is like that and I am 39
2007-04-03 13:19:07 · answer #9 · answered by eeyoree rocks2003 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you are not firm enough in telling him what is up. sit him down and tell him how you feel and if he is a good dad he will sit and listen and understand
2007-04-03 13:19:30 · answer #10 · answered by desirae m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋