please help ive no idea how to tell my boyfriend i hate his best mate ive been very understanding bout wen he wants to go out with him to the pub or spend time with him but latly his mate expects him to drop plans my fella already has made to go out with him im with my fella 2 years and think i cant keep it to myself anymore
2007-04-03 10:15:10 · 18 answers · asked by xxlauraxxox 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
golden rule is never EVER EVER EVER tell your man you hate his best mate. lets switch it round. how would you feel if he said the same to you about your best mate? men stick together and this is fact. he will end up getting defensive and you run the risk of losing him. if his best mate expects him to drop his plans with you and your fella does then the issue is your mans committment to you. if you get in the posistion of making him choose you may lose. his mate is being a prat granted but he has no loyalty to you. your man has.
2007-04-03 21:47:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was once in a similar position. It seemed like the friend was always there making it a three some. You have to be very subtle because it could damage your relationship with your boyfriend if he has had the other buddy for a long time. I suggest that you do something spontaneous when the friend is not around. Don't go the usual places and don't turn on your cell phones. If you manage to spend some quality time point out that you would like more of his time. The other thing is that you should do things with the girls to let him know you are not relying on him for your social life. As soon as he sees it from your angle it may help.
2007-04-03 10:22:47 · answer #2 · answered by alice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't wise to offer an ultimatum as far as him choosing between the two of you, that's way too controlling and you may be sorely disappointed with the outcome.
The best thing to do (I think) is to talk very directly with your boyfriend, express your feelings about his best friend, but gently. Don't expect him to actually DO anything, just let it be said, the rest should fall into place.
Also, you didn't really say that your boyfriend dropped plans the two of you had made, you only said that his mate asked him to drop the plans...did he?
Good luck to you :)
2007-04-03 10:25:57 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet Candy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him straight - us guys can't pick up on subtle stuff - just say it straight and he should (after a few days maybe) come to terms with it and take your feelings into account.
Us fellas work on the principle that everything is fine because no-one has mentioned anything different. He assumes there is no problem because you haven't told him. You may have given hints, clues, signals, but my guess is that he has missed them all!
Just tell him. He'll deal with it fine.
2007-04-03 10:22:09 · answer #4 · answered by blah de blah de blah... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn`t use the word `hate` but would tell him you feel his mate is being unfair to expect plans to be changed for him.
If your fella argues just stay calm and ask him what he would do if the roles were reversed.
2007-04-03 10:23:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont agree with lucky ford.
Nobody should have to choose between a best friend and partner.
You just have to tell him how you feel and why
then just do things so that you only see his mate on odd occasions
which i'm sure if you love yr fella
then you can put up with it every now and then.
2007-04-03 10:21:03 · answer #6 · answered by magic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dunno... that's somewhat effortless and really rude. perhaps he became attempting to compensate for the actual shown reality that he's began to have emotions for you and overdoing it by attempting to act like he can say some thing round you, or perhaps appearing on the idea that you do not sense the same for him? both way i'm constructive there must be more suitable to it than that he only stated someone that would have regarded hotter than you on that nighttime. i'd ask him about it and let him comprehend it afflicted you. if you're associates, then you both opt to get it cleared up for numerous causes. good success!
2016-10-17 22:59:23 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your fella is dropping everything to go out with him, then you need to have a word with him not his friend. You fella is his own person and can say no. x
2007-04-03 10:42:18 · answer #8 · answered by farleyjackmaster 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hate is not a word to use. Maybe it will be better to go out with him on some occasions but tell your boyfriend you prefer to be with him alone.
2007-04-03 10:33:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him, it's not fair to you to have to keep your mouth shut while you are unhappy. A major ingredient in any relationship is communication, so express yourself girl! And if he can't handle it then he isn't worth your time.
2007-04-03 10:20:29 · answer #10 · answered by Isabella's Mommy Expecting #2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋