Im a male at 17 years of age. A whole lot of crap led to this. What should I do. I dont want to child but I dont know. Should I keep her?
2007-04-03 09:51:49 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Frankly, what's done is done. You need to worry about the present, and the future. Learn from your past, and move forward.
The best, most noble, and the most "manly" thing that any man can do, is to love and care for his children. No amount of personal sucess can justify neglecting our family. If you do so, you will always regret it. This child belongs to you now. She is your legacy, and she is the only thing that is going to mean a hill of beans, after you are dead.
Even if you feel very little for her now, I gaurantee, that the more you spend time with her, the more you take care of her, (through the good and the bad), then, the more deeply you will come to love her.
Now, don't get me wrong, caring for a child is hard, tiring, messy, and usually thankless work, but is it worth it?
Yes, it is more than worth it, considering, as i said before, your daughter is the only thing that will outlive you. And it is worth it, if only because of the precious bond of love and trust that you worked to grow and develop between the two of you.
Now, If you are 100% confident that you cannot take care of this child, and her mother feels the same way, than you should at least have the courage and responsibility to consider adoption. Every child deserves to have loving and caring parents; there are thousands of couples out there who would love to have a child, but simply cannot conceive.
Just whatever you do, do not abandon or give up on your child. No matter what has happened, no matter what you have done in the past, it is never too late to make a difference in her life.
Whatever you feel for the mother of your child, please try to develop a trusting and respectfull relationship with her. Try to do whatever you can to respect her needs and wishes. You have no buisness laying your own personal problems and hearaches at the feet of you child. I don't suggest getting a "Shotgun wedding," if you don't love her, but your child is more important right now...
Please don't give up, best of luck,
~Donkey Hotei
2007-04-03 10:39:59 · answer #1 · answered by WOMBAT, Manliness Expert 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, dude- a lot of people on here are going to guilt you into becoming a father to this child with the old "You made your bed, now lie in it" philosophy. Let me tell you something, though- that little girl will be better off with no father at all than a 17-year-old who doesn;t really even want her in the first place. There is obviously a female involved too- what does your baby mama think about this? Does SHE want the baby? I'm assuming so, if she is already far enough along to know the sex of the baby. I do not advise staying in their lives just to "do the right thing," though. If your heart isn't in it, you're going to be screwing up 3 lives- yours, hers, and the baby's. Talk to the girl and figure out some sort of arrangement that pleases you both. Be prepared to offer a monthly maintenance/ child support check, though.
2007-04-03 17:02:05 · answer #2 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't want a child you should have thought of that before you did what you did. Time to grow up. She's not a puppy that you can ask to keep, she is your daughter! You're young and this is hard, but you will see that this little girl is one of the best things to happen to you. Do the right thing. To many children grow up without fathers because they think like you are right now. I'm sure you are always telling your parents and everyone else to treat you like an adult. Congratulations, now you are. So step up.
2007-04-03 20:57:25 · answer #3 · answered by Kat412 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An unplanned pregnancy is a big thing to deal with no matter what age or stage of life. The decisions you make now affect more than just yourself so consider them carefully and from every angle. Don't just think about how you feel right now. Think about how you might feel about a decision 5,10,20 years down the road. If you give her up now, there is probably no going back. Ultimately, you need to do what is best for the child, not yourself or anyone else.
2007-04-03 17:11:06 · answer #4 · answered by madham89 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to the mother. I personally think you should keep the child. She is a living being YOU helped create, and is part of YOUR responsibility, you may regret putting you baby girl up for adoption if you do. Remember, she didn't ask to be put in a family with a couple of teenagers, so just be fair. My aunt had her kids when she was 18, and they turned out great. Just take care of her.
2007-04-03 17:00:52 · answer #5 · answered by Analeigh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok u need to stop being a lil boy now and be a grown man, u knock the poor girl up and u are stuck! u cannot be a deadbeat dad, that is so wrong. I say u should just relize that u are gonna be a dad soon and try your best to help your baby mom with alot of stuff that she needs for new baby! if u need to ask anything about what to do with baby, ask your parents! Don't be scared! GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-04-03 18:00:35 · answer #6 · answered by I love my angels 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the others if you didn't want something like this to happen then maybe you should have wore a condom, But then again if the mom is sexual active why is she not on birth control. Its not fair just to be blaming the man I'm a female and like my mom said to me at 18 it takes two to tango not one, Talk to the mom see what she wants to do decided what is best for the two of you.
2007-04-03 18:53:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not your choice to keep her its your choice to be there for her and go to hell if you dont. because thats what your baby girl will be saying about you for the rest of your life if you decied to just leave her. i had my baby at 17 and my hubby was 19, yes he has admitted he wasnt ready for all this but he woulnt trade it for the world. he can come home to a wife and loving baby. nothing is more satsifynig than seeing a toothless smile at you when that little baby sees you walk in the doors.
2007-04-03 16:57:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
BE A MAN!! Stop trying to run from what you created... if you didn't want a baby than you should have been smarter...but that child deserves a father and does not deserve a coward!! Good luck!
2007-04-03 16:56:46 · answer #9 · answered by reggiethecokegirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have thought of the end result before she got pregnant. Now you just gotta make the best of your situation. Just be good to the baby. She is not at fault for being born and she didn't ask to be born.
2007-04-03 16:58:59 · answer #10 · answered by jean h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋