Normal or CRAZY?

Question

I am having quite the problem...

I have been with my current boyfriend for a little over 6 months. The first 3 months of our relationship were OUT OF THIS WORLD!!! Honestly, I couldnt have dreamt of any better.

That being said. Everything moved quickly for John and I. We moved in together quickly and began talking about marriage.

This is my 1st non dramatic/healthy relationship and I find that I am beginning to look at it as "boring". Or I should say "him". I find as though I critique everything he does and I know its not fair to him but I still keep thinking it.

I had a very emotionally abusive relationship 6 months before I got into this relationship. It ended very abruptly and was full of hate, cheating, lies, betrayal etc...

Why is it that I am getting bored of this type of lifestyle? I wish my ex could just disappear out of my head. I dont know why I still even think about him?!?!?

Any suggestions on how to cope with this?

Answer 1

Are you a drama queen or an adrenalin junkie? Bored and boring are a state of mind. There's just no accounting for "love" actually being just "lust" in the early part of a relationship. If you are not happy don't waste any more of his or your time...move on.

Answer 2

First of all start thinking about all the things you love about him and add the things you like about him. Start writing down you how you feel and everyday if you can and then when the month is over then go back and see if what you wrote makes any sense to you and does it hit home with the way you feel. Sounds like you want to start fights to get him to back off, and you know that is now what you really want do you.? find someone you can talk to some churches offer help in this kind of history you have and you are bringing it in to this relationship with your boyfriend.

Answer 3

Year ago I swear I was you! I lived for the roller coaster relationships and the drama. It seemed like the nice, steady, honest, emotioanlly healthy guys would bore me to tears YAWN. Well, all of that changed as I became healthier myself. I learned what real love is and what it definitely is not.

Sounds like you have a good man now. Don't blame yourself for thinking about you ex, most of us have done it. However, with that said, don't let those dreams ruin what you now have. Remember, there is a reason he is your ex! It is often easy to romanticize about our past boyfriends and put them up on a pedastol, yet, you need to stop those thought immediately and remind yourself why you are not together anymore.

As you get older (and wiser :-)) you realize that the drama is just too much work in a relationship. You learn to appreciate a good man with a good heart who truly loves you the way love was supposed to be.

Sounds like you may need to get some relationship couseling as I did. I tended to equate love with drama because it reminded me of the childhood home I grew up in. That is something that needs good counseling to work on or it will affect every relationship you are in now, and in the future. You owe it to him, but mostly to yourself.

Good luck. Don't lose this guy, give it a chance.

Answer 4

Stop being a drama queen. Why do women want to be treated like crap? I'd say go ahead and break it off so this guy can go find a decent girl instead of wasting his time on someone who just wants him to be an ***-hole. The longer you lead him on the bigger the possibility he's going to climb a clock tower and take out 20 locals with a rifle when you finally dump him for some trailer trash guy with an Arkansas tattoo. 'Boohoo my boyfriend is good to me and I'm in a normal healthy relationship'. Go drink a warm glass of shut the hell up and take a nap.

Answer 5

My advice would be to slow down.

You've jumped right into a relationship after ending another (bad) one. While unhealthy, your prior relationship probably felt more exciting because it wasn't predictable.

Boring isn't necessarily bad. You just have to figure out what your priorities are. What do you want in your life? What kind of life partner do you need/want? What kind of qualities should he have?

Once you can answer those questions, you can make a better decision about whether your current boyfriend is "the one."

Answer 6

you're used to drama with your ex and now suddenly you're in a more stable relationship but there's no drama to keep your attention! it was okay because at first everything was flying you were together and crazy about each other and moving in together and talking marriage but now you're down to the daily routine that is life and not everyday is as exciting. i would talk to a counselor or a friend because you need to work out the past issues of the relationship because before you know it you'll ruin a good relationship because you're so used to the drama that you'll create your own. trust me i've done it myself!

Answer 7

go talk to a shrink or a therapist and get yourself emotionally heathy first, then put the relationship in perspective and move on and enjoy life with new bow and appriciate what you have it may be boring because there is not abuse you have to think emotionally clearly and then determine if he is what you really want and is boring for you a normal realashionship, don't let the past bugger up your normal relationship, it seems crazy because you feel like normal is not normal, take care Heather

Answer 8

Yes, you have a problem. You want excitement, not a stable relationship. You got your excitement through bad karma with your ex, and through the thrill of a new relationship with your current boyfriend. Now you need your fix again...

Answer 9

While you are in this state,I recommend you take a break from this relationship,then see how you are.The fear of "commitment might be causing your behaviour.

Answer 10

I don't think you belong in any relationship right now. You are not ready and don't have your head together.