Feeling really guilty??am i crazy??

Question

Okay i am 27 yrs old and my hubby is 35 we have been married for a over 6 yrs.My husband had an affair with his secretary the second year of our marriage i was very angry. The relationship with my hubby went pretty cold after the affair.A little while later while i was getting my car fixed i ran into an ex.bf from highschool we got to talking turns out he was the owner of the shop.We talked became friends and i started bringing my car by more and more.An affair happened and i ended it started going to therapy with my hubby.Turns out i was pregnant during this time i gave birth too twins my relationship with my hubby returned to a so so level.I never really questioned my childrens paternity because the last time i had sex during the affair as the last day of my cycle. But now i am worried my hubby and i have dark brown hair/eyes my daughter has dirrty blond hair/hazel eyes.Could this just be guilt?

My kids are 3.5 yrs old and my relationship with my hubby is bad he has moved out again.

Answer 1

You will probably ALWAYS wonder, but let me tell you this. My brother has dark brown hair and DARK brown eyes. I have light brown/auburn hair and blue eyes. My brother married a girl from Mexico so obviously she also has dark hair and eyes. Their son looks just like my brother, and their daughter looks just like my oldest sister, who has blonde hair and really blue eyes. My first husband was Hawaiian/Japanese and our sons had dark hair, dark skin, dark eyes.

So you see, if you ever had ANYONE in your family or your husbands, even generations ago that had those features your daughters have, it is still entirely possible the twins are your husbands.

Answer 2

I know it feels better to give your husband's affair as a logging post, but nothing to do with your question. Perhaps a relief of guilt in that expression? I believe you had the affair with your ex-HS-mate as an emotional affair because of your husband's work-mate.
The relationship between you and your husband after the pregnancy, again, guilt, was something you hoped to get the answer, too. Did you ask that question during therapeutic counseling?
Your only relief to your guilt, relaxing of emotions, and decision of divorce includes that DNA test. Have the test done for you for emotional relief, and for your children to explain their emotions, too. You have that paternity test and the think about your life after the truth comes with proof to everyone. That is your question.
As for your relationship with the hubby, it seems you've both injured your relationship. If marriage counseling didn't help, try it with each other, opening those doors. Otherwise I would find a divorce lawyer, and also let that lawyer you are going to need money to raise those twins...Have that lawyer talk to that ex-b/f, and make sure those children get to know their father just as your 3.5 year old. Don't break their lives energy.
Most of all, keep that smile with you. Show those kids, "Mommy is okay...

Answer 3

☼ I understand why you feel guilty, but the question is more about your children and their father(s)... It may be just a question at this point, but in time it may be found out and consider what consequences that might have. Does you husband suspect that the other man could be the father? Maybe you need to discuss this with him and decide what to do together.

Not to pour salt in your wound, but personally I hate infidelity, it is a mistake that you can't take back no matter what. People sometimes fail each other, but besides the couple it is all those innocent ones that get hurt too that's so tragic. It devastates and sometimes destroys a family.

I feel for you and I hope you can find some peace.... wishing you well.

Answer 4

It is sad the heartache cheating creates as you can see. You have a marriage where you and your husband have not been able to resolve your problems constructively, instead he decided to cheat, and added to the problem now you cheated. If there is any chance for this marriage to be saved there will have to be some major changes done by the both of you. I don't blame you for feeling guilty about cheating, but you need to know that this was an indication of something missing in your marriage. You need to over come this by looking for ways to help you through it, even if by counselling. Your children deserve to have a stable home environment. Right now, seems you are the only parent to provide them with that. Best of luck to you!

Answer 5

It could be but I would definately get a paternity test done to satisfy yourself. That is something I know that I would have trouble dealing with. Not knowing if my children that are being raised by my husband was their father or not. Maybe coming clean to him would release some of your guilt also

Answer 6

If your husband doesn't care or say anything, then let it lie. It doesn't matter who the biological father is, it matters who the nurturing father is.

About the hair/eyes; it doesn't mean jack. Lots of brown-haired people started out with blonde hair. Hair color changes as you grow. Plenty babies born with dark hair, change to white blonde then darken down during puberty. Eyes don't matter either: geneticly it would be stranger if you and your husband had BLUE eyes and the girls had dark eyes. If you have dark eyes, the girls have a chance of having any color eyes/

Answer 7

I think you are feeling guilty for what you have done and it is making you paranoid. The only way to change these feelings in my opinion is to come out with the truth and find out who is the father of your children. Of course it will change alot in your life but do you really want to spend the rest of your life wondering and worrying about the same thing? I really hope everything works out for you!!!

Answer 8

Just be guilt!!! You're not talking about a feeling anymore!! Your talking about the biological father of your children! Counseling isn't going to answer that ? for u* Paternety test !

Answer 9

It could be guilt, but all the evidence is there that your babies might not be your husband's. Get a paternity test if you need to, if that's the only way you'll know. If you are going to stick with your husband though, and he treats them like they are his, why rock the boat? Focus your energy on patching things up with your husband, not finding out who your children's father is.

Answer 10

it is possible they belong to the man who u had sex with outside the marriage. Only a paternity test will provide the evidence you are looking for.