Ok so my hubby and i have been having alot of problems for a while now, and recently he asked me to sleep with someone else, so of course thinking it would make him happy, I did it. i even took pics of it like he wanted. now before all of this, he and i had an arguement and he informed me that he was not in love with me anymore, and then a week later he said he was, and then a couple days later he wasnt and now he says he is. My hubby has never been one to understand me very well, and let me be me. I do love him, but since meeting this other guy and talking to him, even before we slept together, i felt a verystrong connection with him. and he also feels the same way. so my question is what do i do? should i stay with my husband and continue to wonder if he really loves me or should i go for it with this other guy and truly be happy.
2007-04-03 08:06:02 · 17 answers · asked by cmgrpgdjg0406 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WOW, your marriage is a train wreck. No good husband would ever let their wife sleep with another man and ask for pictures. I am surprised you agreed to do it. Not good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seems like you are going to be going through an ugly divorce real soon.
2007-04-03 08:13:10 · answer #1 · answered by david 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wait! You might "truly be happy" with the other guy, but you don't know that yet. I'm sure at one time you thought you would truly by happy with your current husband. If you LIKE your husband and you like to do things with him and you laugh when you are together you might want to give this another shot. Love is a verb not a condition. Giving him your love, understanding, help, partnership, sharing, and hope will make your marriage much better. Don't jump out of the frying pan, but into the fire. If the new guy is better than the current guy, it is only a matter of time until another guy is even better than the new guy. Get to know one and enjoy him, and enjoy being with him and make him your best friend and you will be happily married. Good luck..
2007-04-03 15:15:41 · answer #2 · answered by Pumken 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion if ur husband wnted u to sleep with someone else doesnt exactly mean he doesnt love you, i think that he just had that fantasy of u being with another man thats why he asked you to take some pictures. The issue here is tht he probably didnt expect for you to do it even though he asked you to do so. I think he wasnt as open minded as he thought he would be, so now he is feeling confused of whether he loves you or not. But i say if you have feelings for this other guy and he makes you feel good and comfortable then go for it. But make sure where ur feelings and ur husbands stand before you take this step, otherwise you will hurt this other man giving him high hopes. Wht you did is not wrong in sleeping with another man, you didnt do it because you wanted to, u did it because you wanted to comply with ur husbands fantasy...we do all have fantasies. I have somehow a relationship like this the difference is that my husband and i do have an open relationship very open, we're into the swinglifestyle. So i think your husband wanted you to start of by sleeping with another man and then will be asking you for a 3-sum. Thats how they start, believe me...he just wasnt as open minded as he thought he was, thats why he tells you that he loves you and then he doesnt. Talk to him before you decide to be with this other man.
2007-04-03 15:30:21 · answer #3 · answered by txladybug_2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither of you has any idea what a marriage is... you are both children... uncommitted to each other, and your relationship.. "Sharing" ain't ever cool, and he is immature to ask, and you, hon were a fool and immature as well to sleep with some other guy What WERE you thinking???.
Find out what marriage really is --- see your priest, your minister, or get some counseling.... you aren't really in a marriage, so there isn't too much to even save..... And, I am not being rude, snotty or anything, but you do need to grow up, and define what a committed relationship is. You don't have one (by your own admission), and if there is a shred of truth to this, and not some joke, you have a way to go before you know how to make one work...
Good luck, hon
2007-04-03 15:18:02 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
k, when he said he didn't love you anymore, then retracted it... BS! Those words were meant, and he finally was ballsy enough to say them, you can't take that back... Heard those words myself, and am now divorced... best thing I ever did!
Quite simply, you have feelings for another, and that is not good for a marriage, so I'd say get out while you can, before things get weirder (and they will).
Not having anything in common, having little to no real connection with your husband... time to move on. Don't continue hurting yourself or your husband. Separate before the divorce has been filed, to see if this is the right path for you. That will be your biggest determining factor. Once I moved out, I knew it was right, and filed.
2007-04-03 15:19:01 · answer #5 · answered by o b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your the problem!
You need the help because you don't know what you want !
I would suggest a break for at least 2 months away from both men!
Stay away, and not even contact other man, and have very little contact with husband!
Get your head on straight, and then find out what YOU want!
Having sex with another person on any level while married only dismisses you in the end!
2007-04-03 15:12:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get away from both of them. There is no way either situation could work for long. This is why you don't cheat even if your husband wants you to. There are unintended consequences. First it will change things between you and the one your with. Create sexual tension between you and the substitute. Worst of all end the end it will most likely leave you wondering who you are. You will become an emotional mess.
Best thing is to get away from the entire situation. So that with some time you can process your own emotions and find what's best for you.
That's just my opinion. Good Luck
http://lessgov2007.blogspot.com/index.html
2007-04-03 15:16:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that everyone deserves to be happy, and if you are sitting around trying to figure out if your husband loves you or not because he is playing mind games (well i feel he is) one minute he loves you the next he doesn't. life is too short to be and if you found someone who makes you happy I would rather be happy than sit around and be miserable. so the question now becomes do you love your husband enough to work things out? Or have you tried and things have not changed? Because if they haven't he don't love you enough to try and change he never will. So why not do something that will make you truly happy?
2007-04-03 15:30:21 · answer #8 · answered by shayla302001 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm am not sure why he would ask you to sleep with someone else for his kicks. Do you have a sort of kinky relationship all the time? Anyway, is he sleeping with someone else is the real question. Why is he in and out of love with you all the time.
Honey, either you love or you don't and I would not allow anyone to play with my feelings or expect any less for myself. I think you need to respect yourself and not let someone treat you this way.
Remember, this guy you may love, the other guy, remember how it is you started feeling this way. This other guy chose to sleep with his friends wife for his friends kicks and his own. I would leave them both and try to find someone with better Morales. Think more of yourself hon.
2007-04-03 15:51:44 · answer #9 · answered by qpook 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How frustrating... sounds like the relationship has already been on a downhill slide. There's no back and forth on loving someone, you either do or you don't... no on again off again. I would have to say that's it's time for both of you to move on. I'm sure that you'll receive some not so pleasant answers here but you have to expect that. Good luck
2007-04-03 15:13:39 · answer #10 · answered by happyblonde 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My answer would be is to move on. I wouldn't be able to handle the wishy washy personality of mate. Either he loves you or he doesn't. Unless it's a case where he does somedays and not others, and if he thinks that way, he's not in love. It's time to move on, file for divorce and do what you want to do. Even if it doesn't last with the new guy, you'll still be giving yourself the chance to meet new people WHO want to be with you and get to know you. Best Wishes!
2007-04-03 15:12:40 · answer #11 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋