HELP!! I feel embarassed, but he tells me It's okay... That this is his "get out of jail free card"

Question

After a night of drinking and partying we went to bed, fell asleep and In the middle of the night woke up and had the most amazing $ex that i've had in years! And I was half asleep during the whole thing, which made it all the more intense. When finished, I turned over and kissed him, and said "That was amazing _ (name of ex husband here)_!" then I said it again, "Oh __" I woke up half way through the name and nearly fainted, neither of us said anything, just went to bed. The next morning he didn't say anything about it, and I could vaguely remember it happening, until he asked me what was wrong, and I told him I thought I had a really bad nightmare! He smirked, I then knew that it had happened. He was totally calm about it, he only asked me one question "Who do you really want to be with" I answered "YOU" of course, because I do love Him, and My ex and I broke up 2 years ago, and I haven't talked to him in months.

I feel so embarassed. Any advise?

He hasn't made me feel bad about it, he said that he'll tease me about it for a little while, but not to worry about it. That he'll "write it off as that I was with him for a long time, and old habits die hard" the thing is that my current boyfriend and I have NEVER had middle of the night, drunked sex before, and my ex and I did that ALL The time, plus, My roommate wanted to see wedding pics earlier that day, so i took that stroll down memory lane. So i guess that's the only reason why he was in my mind.

Answer 1

Advice? Certainly. We give free advice here, and it's worth every penny. LOL Girl, this is what happens when we fail to marry the first person we ever date. Heck, I've called my wife by my ex's name, I once even called her by my dead dog's name. She has called me by her ex's name, and even by her son's name. Sooo, what does this mean? Sadly, we ALL suffer from occasional mental lapses. My own mother often called us by the wrong name- even the wrong sex. She'd go through three or four different names before she hit the correct one. Ya just gotta laugh. These things just need to be accepted as meaningless.

Answer 2

It's OK. No this is not a "get out of jail free card" He loves you. Is secure with you and hopefully understands that it can happen. You have been divorced for 2 years, but that dosent take a memory out of your head totally. Question was the sex with your Ex amazing? if so that could be why in a drunken or tired state you corollated the 2 events together. My wife has told me that I have spoken in my sleep about past girlfriends, when I cannot even remember what I dreamt that night. I have heard my wife call me an ex's name before but not during or after sex, it was in a normal conversation, she felt so bad and I was just slightly confused that his name would come up after many years. But it was no big dael. We love eachother and I wouldnt hold it against her.

Answer 3

Wow. I once called my husband by my ex-husband's name during an argument. I think it's because my ex was a really a jerk and my husband was acting all pig-headed. Since this incident, I don't think I have ever done it again. Sometimes it's just a slip of the tongue (so to speak.)

The only thing you can do is apologize & tell him that you don't want to be with the other guy. Then try very hard to not repeat this incident.

Answer 4

Just be sure to remember the slip of the tongue when he slips and calls you another woman's name by accident. My wife called me her ex's name twice at different times and I handled it well and calmly, but when I slipped once, it was world war three for about three days. Just see it for what it is, a slip out of habit and nothing else and cut him the same slack he has cut you. You did it while making love, that is pretty rough to get through.

Answer 5

Whether half asleep or not you said your ex's name. You must still have some feelings for him or it would not have slipped out. It has already been said so I don't think anything or any words will make a difference. If we keep on with making excuses it will only make him think more about it.

Answer 6

You say he's your ex.

Have either of you re-married; if not, then do you want to get back together - go for it.

If either or both of you have re-married then start to consider the potential effects of this dalliance. Do you regret the divorce?

Could you re-marry painlessly, or do you simply want a continued relationship on the side?

I am only prepared to advise you that you need to think about things properly!

Answer 7

do something for/with him that you would never do with your ex. If it's sexual, so much the better. Be sure to tell him beforehand "you know, I never would do this with [ex-husband's name] but I love you and trust you so much I want to do this with you"

Believe me, he'll have no doubts or worries about the whole issue again.

Answer 8

You poor girl. I have been guilty of calling my husband, heck, even my son, by my ex, usually when I'm really excited about something - my brain gets its wires crossed, I think. Luckily it's never happened in bed.

It was an honest mistake - you've apologized and discussed it and your boyfriend is okay about it. Forgive yourself and let it go.

Answer 9

Ooops, just show your appreciation in many ways in the coming days. Once when I was dating my husband, he called me by his ex's name during a dinner in front of his entire family. I laughed and said "what's my name????." It's understandable, slip-ups do occur. It doesn't mean you love him any less.

Answer 10

He said it was ok right? That seems to suggest that he's a good guy who understands. He knows you were drunk. Just don't mention it again and forget about it. Move on with your life and enjoy your new start at life. Relax.