help me out!!?

Question

me & my bf are in luv with each other for abt 2yrs.earlier that is in the begining of our relationship he was very caring.he still is but nowdays he has changed a lot. earlier he used keep his temper in control.he used to seldom get angry and if when we did fight, we used to make up very soon. but nowdays if he gets anoyed (which happens a lot nowdays, it seem that i irritate him a lot) he never calls to makeup.even when it is his fault 7 i complain he is ready to tell me that i too did something like that 11/2yrs ago to him.it always me who says sorry and makeup.it is i who always call after a fight no matter whos fault it is.on top of that he will not talk to me properly for a day to tell me he is talking to me but is still angry.i have tried to tell him how i feel but he is ready with an answer that how i hurted him 1yr ago on some ocassion.i know he luvs me.but what did i do to change my prince into a monster.any suggestions how can i get my prince back

Answer 1

He has gotten quite comfortable witht he situation and with being able to unload his anger and frutration on you, since evidently he knows you will stick around. You may not ever be able to change him, but you can change yourself. You can decide what you will and will not tolerate and make this clear to him. Set healthy boudaries for his speech toward you and for how long you will put up with his tantrums.

He is acting like a child, but as any parent knows, children will only do waht you allow them to do. You need to set healthy boundaries, but also be prepared to walk away if they are not met. I know you love each other so it good couples counseling is in order as well. If you want to keep things together, it NEEDS to be done or believe me, it is not going to get better, just worse.

You are holding out hope for the way things were. Honey, we all know things change and you can't waste your days hoping for the past. Work on yourself and setting healthy standards for how you are treated. We all deserve better than that. I am sure he would not like it either if you acted toward him, the juvenile way he is acting toward you.

Unless you are willing to stay with the "monster" as you put it, be prepared for some work ahead, some good counseling, and some changes in your own behavior as far as loving yourself enough to know this is not love. Love is wanting the best for the other and being selfless, not selfish. Though you are on the right track with wanting to help him, sounds like he is not and that is not what love is about.

Answer 2

Hi and i am sorry to hear about his sudden change. But dear please don't blame yourself, no matter what don't give up your self worth.
I don't know your bf personality but maybe he has a lot of things going on with his life that he is not sharing or maybe more serious than that..who knows. If you let yourself be in a position to be the one apologizing all the time, you'll get yourself burn out and you are showing him that it's always you and no issue is really being resolve.
In any case, in every relationship open communication is the key, love is not enough..it involves, maturity, responsibility and respect. If he doesn't have these, maybe give him time to be one..but remember you cannot change him, only he can.

Answer 3

I swear I am your boyfriend..... Kinda creepy.... I can't really give you good advice because I sound like him. I would try to give him space. It's not that he don't want to be around you, But it sounds like he really needs to miss you a little. Maybe find himself without the worries of pleasing someone else. Selfish. I know but I remember when I first met my girl Things were fresh and new. I knew who I was. And I still know who I am but as time in a relationship grew I need to stop and think about her and if I'm going to upset her or not, When I would just do naturally. If I don't make sense, sorry. E-mail me and I will talk further.

Answer 4

I think your messed up and your BF is even worse et some counselling or just end it fighting and making up is not a relationship it is a disaster just ask him what you did that pissed him off so much? Maybe it's time to look for a new guy? Really if he isn't calling you there is a reason. I think he is trying to tell you it is over.

Answer 5

If he really won't listen no matter how many times you try to tell him, then tell him to shut up and sit down. Say that you feel like he is really disrespecting you and he doesn't care about you anymore. If he tries to interrupt, ask him to keep quiet. Tell him that you want a break.

Be short, concise, and unwavering. I hope everything works out!

Answer 6

You guys need time to get away from each other, because chances are that you guys are seeing to much of each other, and are starting to get on each others nerves.
You just need to be away from each other for a while to cool off, and then you can see each other again, but in the time you are away, you don't get to be single, so no cheating on your bf.

Answer 7

I definitely know how you feel, because i am going through the same thing with my bf. The only difference is he told me why. He said that i nagg him too much and he is tired of keeping his temper to himself, he said i was taking advantage of him because he kept quiet most of the times.

Answer 8

Sounds like he can treat you like crap and get away with it...he knows if you 2 get in a fight your always going to be the one to kiss butt first....

My advice to you is... STOP kissing his butt...if you know it wasn't your fault then stop apologizing to him...

You are not his door mat your his women...stand your ground and set boundaries with him or he will continue to treat you this way....you deserve better...so start showing that to him..

Good Luck Sister

Answer 9

Stay in school, learn to spell, and get rid of a guy who treats you badly. You need to be cherished, not scolded and punished for small things.

Answer 10

Sounds like you met his Representative. Now that guy is gone, and you have met the real him. Good luck.