2007-04-03 07:22:07 · 19 answers · asked by A C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you try as hard as you would want him to try if it were you. learn to accept what he has done. learn to stop blaming him and yourself. you have to face it, dead on, show the infidelity YOUR face...talk to him, try to find out why. if he doesn't know, try to understand it. TALK, and TRY...ACCEPT and don't deny him or push him away. Let this draw the two of you closer....
...unless you just need a reason to leave
Good luck!
2007-04-03 07:32:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Were there any problems within the marriage that may have given your spouse a reason to cheat? How many times have they cheated? Sometimes your just can't look at what happened, you will also had to look at what may have caused it. I'm not saying give them 100% trust, but you are married and gave each other vows. You should live by those vows if not, you should have never got married. Did you ask the spouse why they did it? It's obvious that you still love them cause if you didn't you wouldn't have asked this question. All you can do is follow your heart. If your heart says let it go then you got to let it go. The spouse will definitely have to gain that trust back. Good luck to you and I hope I have provided you will good advise
2007-04-03 07:47:42 · answer #2 · answered by dallaslibra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your spouse again...ouch. Been there and done it. I'm also a spouse of a cheater. It has been three years and I can honestly say the trust isn't back 100%. I think each day it gets better but it doesn't happen over night. The problem is that I never saw it coming and was blind sided. I forbid to ever be blind sided again therefore I don't forget what happened and keep my eyes open and always watch for signs. I don't necessarily look at it as not trusting him...just my own insecurity of making sure I'm not fooled again.
Best advise I can give is just be patient and give it time. It does get better but you and your hubby need to be patient.
2007-04-03 07:33:53 · answer #3 · answered by lala1229 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I tried for 5 years before giving up my search for an answer. There is a new book about to be released that tells you how to move on when you can't or won't forgive. Look for it. It will have clues as how to move along.
Infidelity is such an ugly animal. Forgiveness can occur in some personality types, but generally, it wreaks havoc in a couple's trust and love for each other. You may find yourself becoming frigid and not enjoying sex with the infidel, if you have let your partner back into your bed at this point.
See what time does - a few months. If you can't make it work and forgive and can't continue this relationship, then it is time to move on. No sense in fooling yourself or your partner, as painful as it can be.
2007-04-03 07:30:12 · answer #4 · answered by mim 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ac, good luck. It can be done but it depends on the reason the other mate chatted. Me personal, I have been down that road and for gave time and time again. It never done any good and I can honestly say I wish I had a better opine of myself back then like I do now cause there is no way in hell I would ever put myself through that **** ever again.
2007-04-03 07:36:21 · answer #5 · answered by loving U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is such a sticky issue. It's all about having faith in your partner to not screw around again. If you don't have it in you to extend that faith then end the marriage now. Love can't thrive in an atmosphere of distrust. Try starting over symbolically by renewing your vows in front of your family and taking a second honeymoon. Try to be all to her or him so that the thought of straying never becomes an issue again. Good luck.
2007-04-03 07:32:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you decide to continue the relationship after a spouse has been unfaithful you have to just trust them. A person who wants to cheat will cheat even if you are breathing down their neck. Just make sure you have a sit down so the other person understands that if they cheat again all bets are off and it's over.
2007-04-03 07:27:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i've got study someplace that maximum affairs are one time errors. the adulterer regrets and not in any respect does it lower back. on an identical time maximum of those situations are not at all revealed to the companion. for each marriage the place there is conventional infidelity there are a number of greater the place the cheated on companion not at all unearths out and the cheater not at all does it lower back.
2016-10-02 02:52:00 · answer #8 · answered by carol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the most hurtful thing to go through and I am sorry you apparently have. You can't trust them again unless they are willing to do whatever it takes to help you through it. They have to listen, answer, understand....it can be exhausting because they just want to "forget" what they did BUT....the consequences are sooo damaging to the other person it just can't be "forgotton" so easily. Unless they are willing to put you first....you will have trouble forgiving them. Also I can't imagine even attempting to forgive such a thing without remembering that the Lord wants us to forgive others just as He forgave us. God bless!
2007-04-03 07:31:51 · answer #9 · answered by caraanne2005 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I myself could never trust again. Infidelity is the worst thing you could ever do to me. How could you hurt someone like that if you claim to love them.? I would have to learn to retrust him from prison, because I would kill them both
2007-04-03 07:33:41 · answer #10 · answered by Ruby Tuesday 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋