I found my 14 year old masturbating! help!?

Question

I walked in her room and she didn't know i was there. Her entire top was off, and her pants were pulled down to her knees, showing her bareness. She had no bra on. And she had the sheets of her bed balled up under her, and she appeared to be humping the sheets. How do i put an end to this?? And why does she do it?

Answer 1

yeah i hear you! quite honestly it's a perfectly normal response, both yours and hers. fact is masturation is a perfectly normal and healthy activity in this age group. the thing is most parents don't catch their kids doing it. kinda shocking knowing your daughter becomes sexually aroused? she's not a baby anymore. give her some privacy but don't ignore the fact many girls this age become sexually active. watch for signs and pay attention to friends she keeps. check up on her when she says she is somewhere, make sure she really is there. please understand i'm not saying she is having sex just that it is not uncommon so be smart not sorry!

Answer 2

Ever heard of knocking and waiting 5 seconds before entering? Parents often joke about catching their sons doing this and accept it as normal behavior, but there is a different belief when it happens to a daughter. The truth is most girls are doing it. It's obviously time to have "the talk" with her. If you make her feel bad about it, you'll make her feel like a freak and worse yet, when something comes up in the future, she may not even talk to you about it at all. One time when our house was being remodeled, I had to pee really bad but my son was downstairs in the shower. I kept holding it until I was in pain and decided to use his restroom instead. The shower was running and the floorplan was set up so I could open the door and it would hide him from my vision and I could pee on the other side of the shower and he wouldn't be able to see me. I opened the door and there he was sitting on the toilet totally naked masturbating while the shower was running. He hadn't even been in the shower, it's no wonder my water bill had been so high. He yelled at me to shut the door while he was trying to hunch down into a ball to cover himself, but I was frozen in shock, I couldn't even move, I just stood there with my mouth open in disbelief and he kept yelling; I finally managed to remove myself from the room and closed the door and told him that when he was finished that I really needed to use the bathroom as I had been waiting for a long time. Once he finally came out, I got to pee and then told him I was sorry for going in there but I thought he was in the shower and I really had to pee. I told him that what he was doing was ok and everybody has done it at least once, but it was something that should be done in the bedroom, not in the bathroom especially when it's the only operational one in the house at the time. He was embarrassed and I told him it was ok and that I would forget the whole thing even happened. I think I was more traumatized by it than he was, but we both learned a valuable lesson from this, one is to keep the door locked if you don't want anyone walking in on you and two, knock before you enter an unlocked door.

Answer 3

Ugh, I'm getting a little tired here of seeing so many people ashamed of natural bodily functions. These teens are young and very curious about their body, so this is nothing more than a natural process. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of here.

By how you re-acted to this, my guess is that you're highly religious and believe that such a thing is wrong, correct? Meh. I don't understand how one can put so much faith into something so absurd. No offense intended, but please don't put shame on sex or masturbation. Yes, the first can be dangerous so it's very important to educate her thoroughly on it. The latter being a simple way to explore her body.

Answer 4

This is totally normal behavior and there is no way to end it without causing damage to your reltionship with your daughter and possibly damaging her self image/sexual image as well. She does it because it feels good..one of the reasons people have sex..and because she has reached a point in her develpment where sexual pleasure is a new, exciting thing. While you may not be comfortable with the idea, know that she is better off pleasing herself sexually than seeking out partners to do it with....no one ever got pregnant doing it on their own!

But, it is time to discuss issues like privacy. First off, you need to stop and knock before entering her room. If she has a door, she should be given the option to close it when she wants time alone...for any reason..and should know that you will not enter the room unannounced. Set rules about refusing you entrance..for example, you knock and she says not now, you will give her 5 minutes and then she will need to either let you in or come to you to see what is needed. If you have similar rules in place about how she may enter your room and when, allow those rules to apply to her room now. If not, then apply the new rules to your space as well.

This is also the time to discuss sex if you haven't already. Take the time to talk about changes in her body and changes in her interest in other's bodies as well. Talk about the dangers of unprotected sex and take time to tell her your feelings, explaining any religous or moral beliefs that guide you. Do not think that she is not ready for the talk or that be talking about sex, she will think you are saying it is ok to go out and do it. She is ready...you can find ways to let her know that it is not ok with you for her to engage in it ...and waiting can only cause bigger issues.

Answer 5

What do you mean "why does she do it"? When she went through puberty, sexual desires came into her mind and as she gets older, the sexual desires will get stronger. That is why she masturbates. She will eventually find something better than masturbation to help her deal with her sexual desires.
You should be glad that she is not giving her body to perverts and horny little boys.
Take comfort that masturbation will not make her pregnant. Relax and give her some privacy, knock on her door before you open it.

Answer 6

What do you want help with? Sounds to me as if she had everything under control. She does it because it is a normal thing to do. She is finding out what it is that sexually pleases her and will be more inclined to be open with her chosen mate and let him know what pleases her later on. Next time knock before entering her room.

Answer 7

It's perfectly normal for her to be interested in these kind of thing, and it is healthy. Do NOT put an end to this because then she'll just be more curious and want to go out and try it for real. She does it because she is curious and wants to know about it.

Answer 8

Total normal.. Are you telling me you never did it??? Please I did and so did my husband. It's OK as long as it isn't in public which I have seen so don't freak her out thinking it's bad. You don't need her do be hung up on orgasms being bad. Also remember 90 % of people masturbate the other 10% is lying about not doing it. Relax!!!

Answer 9

To realy answer your question...to put an end to that , take away her beds and sheets and cut off her fingers, that would put an end to what you saw, whay does she do it?? she does it cause it fees frigging good, doesn't sex feel gooD? of course so that answers your question.

to not answer your questions read what the other folks are saying here. they make a lot of sense and should be able to help you

Answer 10

I would knock the next time I went into her room. I would not mention what I saw and if she asked I would tell her it is normal to explore her own body and leave it at that.