I am 25 & have been married for almost 6 years. We have 2 children. Got married because I was pregnant. It wasn't because of love. There was a time when I was in love with my husband, but the feeling was not mutual. Now almost 6 years later, he is so in love with me, but I do not feel in love with him. I met another man & am so drawn and smitten by him. So what do I do? Tell my husband I do not love him and chance loving the other man, or stay with him for the kids. I don't want to hurt him. It would break his heart if I told him.
2007-04-03 06:04:04 · 13 answers · asked by bad beauty25 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You've got to be kidding...you made babies with him...STAY with him...Its not your babies fault, look for the good in him and why you married him in the first place
2007-04-03 06:08:41 · answer #1 · answered by K F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you've been married for a while, it's very easy to overlook what you already have for something that seems better, especially if you currently don't feel 100% happy. If you ask anyone who's been married for a while, I bet that almost all of them will say they had "feelings" for someone else other than their spouse. I think this happens due to complacency or boredom. But the grass is very rarely greener on the other side. Now that you've got kids, this isn't just about your feelings. It's about the kids too. I agree that you shouldn't stay married just for the sake of the kids, but before you pack things in with your husband, you owe it to him, your kids, and yourself to try to work things out. Good luck!
2007-04-03 15:51:06 · answer #2 · answered by GreekGal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you married your husband because you were pregnant. Now he is in love with you but he wasn't before. It is clearly working out for the best now. If your husbands is not a crazy, or a child molester, or wife beater, then all the rest is good. Hands down keep him! He is a good guy. Put more effort into him because you were in love with him at one time for one, he is your children's daddy for two, and he is now in love with you! As for the other guy, you marry him? No because he will only be charming someone else after he marries you. he does not know boundaries, and he and you are crossing one now. Seek some low keyed marriage counseling with your husband and things will get better.
2007-04-03 13:29:17 · answer #3 · answered by krash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very sad that you got married in the first place just because you were pregnant and then you had another?! Why? That is especially not fair to the children. Why not try marriage counseling? But if things just are not working out and you and your husband do not have a good and loving relationship then maybe you should separate.
2007-04-03 13:18:35 · answer #4 · answered by NLH823 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know many people think differently than I do, but I have NEVER believed in staying in a marriage for the kids. My mother tried to do this and I swear to God I wish she had just gotten divorced sooner instead of trying to stay.
However, I have also heard that it's normal for people to feel like they are not "in love" with their spouse any more. But, I heard on a TV show that if you stay in the marriage at least two years, and TRY to fall back in love, it almost always works. This means you would have to not have contact with the other guy, spend time with your husband, go on dates, have fun, get to know him again, etc. It doesn't appear to me that you and your husband hate each other, don't get along, etc., so I bet there is a great chance for the two of you to find each other again. You just have to be willing to try.
2007-04-03 13:16:37 · answer #5 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you from personal experience that things only look greener on the other side. you need to weigh this one out properly. are you no longer in love with your husband because of this man or is this genuine? divorce is not necessarily the best answer. work on your marriage a bit (honestly), if you REALLY don't love your husband then go for the divorce but you should give it at least a year to be sure.
2007-04-03 13:15:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You owe your marriage some work. Stick by your husband and do the right thing for the children. Look at the good things your marriage has given you. Find the reasons you love your husband. It is hard work and the grass does look greener on the other side sometimes, but is it worth the devestation it will cause your family? Think about it.
2007-04-03 13:10:03 · answer #7 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay with him. Actually, work on your marriage rather than the path you've planned which will only lead to adultery. Well, in a way it already has. In a way, you have already committed adultery because you've allowed this other guy to endanger your marriage. Do the right thing.
2007-04-03 13:16:30 · answer #8 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait, did that man love you or not? does he know you are married woman with 2 children? since you do not love your husband anymore.. how about your children? you bear to hurt them..since you do not want to hurt your husband, i believe you still love him.
2007-04-03 13:14:30 · answer #9 · answered by TO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bem with who you wana be with if its not him you will constantly be arguing as you wont be happy you will resent him for it. how are the kids going to feel listening to mum and dad arguing all the time. you only live once one day your kids will move out and it will just be you and him. it not fair on either of you, you should both be loved its not a one way thing.
2007-04-03 13:19:23 · answer #10 · answered by NICOLA G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋